So, my fiance and I have for quite awhile come to terms with us being poly, primarily myself but she is cool with it.
Thing is, we've been together for 13 years now, are getting married soon, and while we have agreed that if we ever met someone we clicked with, we also have come to terms with the fact it feels like that won't actually ever happen.
We're both very introverted and keep to ourselves. We aren't actually party goers, and the wildest nights we have are the extremely rare night where we host a board game night with like, maybe 4 friends. And that's a "rager" for us, comparatively.
We've looked into some dating apps but the results are... abysmal. Non starter really.
And since we are both so far along in our life together, it feels more and more like it would be impossible to "Fairly" include another person anyways. They'd forever be "second" in that me and my fiance have thirteen (and counting) years of history, whereas the new person would be starting completely fresh. That doesn't seem like it could ever work anyways, no matter how hard we tried right?
We've talked at length about this and agreed that it just doesn't seem like it could even work, despite us wanting it to, and that we're sorta just gonna have to be cool with being monogamous poly, which is weird but I dunno how else to describe it.
The only situation I've considered that would work is if it was another couple that both of us click with both of them, and everyone vibes with each other in every direction, which then means at least everyone has someone else they have history with, and someone else that is new, which feels more like now everyone is on "equal" footing if you will, removing that feeling of imbalance.
But then of course we have to confront the fact that the odds of two people finding two other people and everyone vibing with everyone else is... well incredibly low. And when I say vibing I'm talking "we want to have a close committed intimate and romantic relationship" level.
So, I guess I wanted to send out some feelers on if any other folks are in this sort of state, how are you navigating it, how do you feel about it, lets talk about this sort of state.
Something to noodle on:
Is it morally wrong to try and initiate a poly relationship with a third person, when the other 2 people have a "fallback" of each other, such that the third person forever will be subjected to the 2v1 power imbalance, that if things broke down the 2 would quick the third out, forever putting them at a disadvantage?
Cuz, personally, I feel like I can't morally subject someone to that myself, I'd forever feel "off" about putting another person (no matter how willing) into that position, it feels... wrong.
Terrible idea, that new country would instantly realize how awful it is needing to negotiate for oil when you have zero local sources of it.
The US has Texas, and Canada has Alberta.
You do not wanna form any kind of new pseudo country that doesn't have oil in 2025, you will have some serious issues within a couple years.
The only people that talk about any states or provinces separating are the people too ignorant of just how deeply they are dependent on all the rest of their country's exports, imports, and production.
Yes, even backwater places have an absolute fuck tonne of stuff they produce that you depend on every Just because you might think mineral mines, farms, oil, steel factories, forestry, etc etc isnt of major value, it is and you literally depend on it daily
You cant break out from that, but too many people have become too deeply dumb to grok how fucked their life would become if their specific state/province seperated.
You're cost of living would fucking skyrocket to levels you cant even imagine. So much random shit you currently take for granted still being affordable would vaporize as you suddenly realize "Oh yeah I guess we dont make that here locally do we, where does that come from? Shit it comes from there? I never knew they made this stuff, I use it every day! Now I cant have it at all? I can still, it just costs a lot more and is imported? Well how much does it cost? (spit take) IT COSTS HOW MUCH NOW?!?!"