this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2024
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They are correct though. There is no evidence that chimps walked out of Africa. For two reasons:

  1. They can't walk for that length of time because we're the ones who walk everywhere, they hang out in trees.

  2. No one ever said they did.

I'm wondering if this person has ever even seen a chimp, to be honest.

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[–] Sludgehammer 40 points 5 months ago (2 children)

We've got sunflowers all over with similar DNA doesn't mean they somehow blew over. Cranberries of Europe And USA have similar DNA but that doesn't mean they blew over here.

Someone should explain how birds work to this guy.

[–] Rhynoplaz 36 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Are you suggesting a swallow picked up a coconut and carried it here all the way from the tropics?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

African swallow or European swallow?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Anyone know the air velocity of an African swallow?

[–] Jarix 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?

[–] RizzRustbolt 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

This is legit the answer though. All those little islands have palm trees because coconuts floated over the sea and sprouted on the beach

[–] SkyezOpen 8 points 5 months ago

Used to work. They were all replaced with government spy drones.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I do not agree with widely agreed upon, backed by scientists theory that numerous studies and research has proven to be plausible lol

[–] FlyingSquid 25 points 5 months ago (1 children)

"so does any scientist agree with me on this whole all the scientists are wrong thing?!"

[–] Tarquinn2049 6 points 5 months ago

If they can find one person labeled a scientist that believes the same thing, then "science" believes it too, so I'm not crazy.

[–] cmbabul 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

They think scientific advancements are always made by a single person and occur in a vacuum. They learn that Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone and equate that to Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, but the way they see it Bells science is self evident because well phones work so his science must be right. With more abstract discoveries that don’t produce an object in the physical world they believe they can deny all day.

It’s really fucking stupid

[–] FlyingSquid 5 points 5 months ago

Bell didn't actually invent it (Elisha Gray did), but that aside, They didn't work in a vacuum either. The telephone wouldn't exist without all the discoveries before it. Including the abstract ideas that were necessary for basic electrical devices to be constructed. And Darwin wouldn't have come up with his theory if it wasn't for his grandfather Erasmus and Jean-Baptist Lamarck.

They're just wrong about how science works period.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago (2 children)

The orangutan is the smartest primate.

I'm inclined to agree after reading this.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

No, the Orangatang

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I knew this long ago while watching planet of the apes.

[–] ChicoSuave 23 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Orangutan "getting on boats" to leave Borneo is a hilarious image. Like Douglas Adams without the literacy.

This individual would make a good scientist. They are curious, require evidence to challenge claims, will investigate the evidence, and struggles to make sense of it. If they were taught how to perform their investigation, what being thorough means, and how to test their wild guesses.

This poor person could have made breakthroughs in anthropology or archeology in another life.

[–] turmacar 9 points 5 months ago

They are a bad scientist.

They have decided they don't like a thesis and are looking for reasoning to explain those feelings. What they are not doing is trying to understand the evidence for the thesis. They believe that science is one person saying the viewpoint they already hold is how the thesis they don't like or understand is 'disproven'.

They are not curious for discovery, they are curious how to explain their pre-existing worldview in "science-y words" because they feel unable to reconcile their faith with reason. In another life they would have been the monk writing how the patterning on flowers is proof of Jesus' suffering.

[–] FlyingSquid 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

They may believe that the "orangutang" is a smarter primate than them because they don't even know how to spell its name.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

All things which I don't know how to spell are smarter than humans.

Proboscis monkeys are divine beings.

[–] brygphilomena 4 points 5 months ago

To be fair, they make great librarians. When they aren't turning into other objects on the boat from the Lost Continent.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Doesn't mean [sunflowers] somehow blew over

This is a troll right?

[–] FlyingSquid 13 points 5 months ago

If it is, others believe very similar things in the post sincerely.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

That account is by the way an extremely racist dog whistle. These accounts are designed to act as entry drugs into hardcore racist "race science" fan fiction.

If you know you know, if you don't stay the fuck away and report any that you see

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Yeah I was getting some serious "I ain't related to some african monkey" vibes from this.

[–] Etterra 15 points 5 months ago

Allow me to counter this person's idiocy in a way that even they can understand. Ahem.

Your sister shares DNA with you. You decide to move out and leave for New York. You drive there because that's the best way to move with all of your stuff, even though you have limited funds and it would be cheaper to leave your stuff behind and fly. The food there uses similar ingredients but that doesn't mean it flew there either, because it's far more practical to drive. Currently your parents house is being foreclosed on. Your sister is your smartest relative, but because she's getting married to another local, your sister isn't moving to New York.

My question is this: is there any proof that this guy's parents aren't ashamed that he's an idiot?

[–] PsyDoctah9Jah 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Let me start up my time machine, I'll come back and confirm 🫠

[–] InternetCitizen2 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] FlyingSquid 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

They stepped on a butterfly and we're all going to fade out like Mart McFly.

[–] TexasDrunk 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Nah, we used to be cat people. None of you remember because you can't see through time.

I nearly went off on a Mandela effect rant but that's going to wait until we get a post from one of those guys.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Well drat. I suppose this post is going to fade away soon.

Just kitten.

[–] Tarquinn2049 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I guess he didn't make it, time travel is dangerous. Even if he succeeded, he probably changed something, and then when he came back, he wasn't on our timeline anymore anyway.

[–] Couldbealeotard 2 points 5 months ago

Well if we go by Dragon Ball Z rules, the change will happen in another timeline, and he'll come back to this unchanged one.

[–] mechoman444 8 points 5 months ago

He's right, the orangutan is the smartest primate especially compared to him since they can probably spell the name of their own species correctly.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Orangatang is a great band name.

[–] dogsnest 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I began skimming (rather than read) at "homind"....

[–] FlyingSquid 7 points 5 months ago

It's worth a read. It gets crazier and crazier. Wait until you get to the sunflowers part.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You want some wild reads, read the Quora responses to Out of Africa.

[–] FlyingSquid 9 points 5 months ago

I can handle insane Facebook. Quora is a whole other level of crazy I don't want to touch.