this post was submitted on 18 May 2024
521 points (97.3% liked)

Not The Onion

10962 readers
1167 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] FlashMobOfOne 166 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (8 children)

“The purpose is not solely religious,” Sen. Jay Morris, R-West Monroe, told the Senate. Rather, it is the Ten Commandments' "historical significance, which is simply one of many documents that display the history of our country and foundation of our legal system.”

Only two of them are actually law: Thou shalt not murder and thou shalt not steal.

This is all about religion, and they're going to get away with it. We'd be better off if our legal codes were based on the seven tenets instead.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Not even two, maybe one and a half as it depends a lot on who you are and whom you're stealing from. And you can even argue on murder too

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

https://www.evilbible.com/evil-bible-home-page/murder-in-the-bible/

If I linked 1/3rd of the list of times the Bible condones murder it would be removed as spam.

[–] toiletobserver 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hail Satan! or not... I'm not your boss, do whatever

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Carighan 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

America! Land of the free*!

*: Unless you meant freedom of religion. You better not! We'll sue/burn/shoot/jesus you if you do! Ultraconservative Christianity or death!

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Delusional 138 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Religious people just love indoctrinating children. It's their whole thing. Get them while they're young and dumb and won't realize it's all just make believe bullshit.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 month ago

It makes me so angry because children are vulnerable and trusting; exploiting that to get them to believe in nonsense is evil.

[–] BoxerDevil 13 points 1 month ago

But when I try to indoctrinate children I just get burned at the stake

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 112 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Satanic Temple has entered the chat

[–] toiletobserver 42 points 1 month ago

Conferencing in the ACLU

[–] toynbee 109 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Did I misunderstand what "separation of church and state" meant?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Depends. Are you a Louisiana Republican legislator?

[–] toynbee 13 points 1 month ago

Based on this ruling, I don't think I'm qualified.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Fedizen 81 points 1 month ago (25 children)

violating the constitution by establishment of a religion

[–] mojofrododojo 22 points 1 month ago

Louisiana is a real conservative religious armpit.

load more comments (24 replies)
[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Wtf is going on with you on the other side of the pond there?

[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 month ago

Ignorance, propaganda and christofascism

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Drummyralf 54 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

No problem! We've got options!

-Fontsize = 3

-Hang them with text against wall

-Hang them on the ceiling

-Type them in Chinese/foreign language/braille

-Bright yellow text on white paper

-Printed with bad cartridge

-Font: wingdings

[–] suchwin 20 points 1 month ago

Few years ago Texas required 'In God we Trust' signs to be displayed in classrooms. Schools weren't allowed to pay for them, so basically donated. They conveniently rejected the signs that had a rainbow on it, or the one written in Arabic.

https://www.npr.org/2022/08/31/1120239381/texas-in-god-we-trust-arabic-signs-chaz-stevens

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Revonult 10 points 1 month ago

Put it in the orgional Hebrew.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] radicalautonomy 48 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Welp...I was gonna visit NOLA one more time before moving from Texas to Oregon this summer and leaving the Deep South once and for all. But, as a public school teacher, I have to say this is completely and utterly monkeyfucked, and Louisiana isn't getting a thin-ass dime from me.

[–] PigsInClover 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Samesies. I was going to stop in NOLA one last time and enjoy myself there while moving from Texas to Rhode Island this summer and leaving the Deep South once and for all.

Only I’m not a teacher. Good luck with your move! And working in a much better public education system. What Abbott has been doing to our schools is insane.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] TheOneWithTheHair 45 points 1 month ago

Post them in Hebrew, to be historically accurate.

[–] Raxiel 42 points 1 month ago

At least six of those go against the core tenets of MAGA

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Name and shame the religious extremist who passed this and ban them from office

Ask them how they'd feel about requiring children to wear hijabs and all of the sudden they'll understand how everyone feels about their fascist laws lol

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago

Nah, they'll just think Christians good, Muslim bad

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Thcdenton 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm not entirely sure of your translating skills, but I'm board with the results. Will you be doing the whole bible, or just the fun bits?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] BlackNo1 26 points 1 month ago

sherman we need you now more than ever.

i fucking hate the south

[–] boatsnhos931 24 points 1 month ago (6 children)

I thought the old testament was supposed to be irrelevant/null and void after Jeebus and the new new testament.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

But actually following Jesus' teaching would be way too progressive. As far as I remember he was basically a hippie, advocating for love, helping each other out and the poor, and strongly against hate and capitalism. And he didn't quite like the old traditions. So I think as a christian as of today you definitely need some counterbalance and some other book to point at to defend your conservatism, egoistcal behaviour and hate towards people who aren't 100% like yourself.

[–] Archelon 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah but that doesn’t let us demonize minorities so we can radicalize the population into voting against their own interests for the benefit of the oligarchyyyyyy

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

To be fair Louisiana can't do much more than alternate between crying and sticking its head in the sand. Unfortunately it is the state where a whole lot of oil refineries and disgusting chemical plants have set up shop and that has just locked the state into a death spiral politically. Louisiana is absolutely FUCKED though from climate change and I think you have to see the batshit crazy behavior of people there from that context. Climate Change is going to demolish the lives of people who live in Louisiana (actually by the numbers it is going to somehow be FAR worse than Florida) and no matter how much denial you are in about Climate Change the fear will keep seeping into these people's psyches no matter what, like rising flood waters slipping between the cracks of buildings....

https://assets.firststreet.org/uploads/2020/06/first_street_foundation__first_national_flood_risk_assessment.pdf

It is useless to try to understand why the ideological contagions of religious fundamentalism and conservatism are so widespread in Louisiana outside the context of the state being a trashcan for the entire US oil and chemical industrial complex. This kind of suffering, ideological dissonance with basic aspects of reality and obsession with issues that are massive distractions from unfolding mass scale health catastrophes (like healthcare being an utterly failed system in the US or rent being completely unaffordable) are a fundamental requirement for petroleum and chemical companies to maintain their incredibly destructive existence, otherwise they would be shut down almost immediately by angry masses of citizens.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petroleum_refining_in_the_United_States

[–] woelkchen 22 points 1 month ago

Let's see if the don't kill command deters school shootings.

[–] niktemadur 20 points 1 month ago

On the one hand, you have the anti-science, anti-reason, bible-thumping retrograde assholes.

On the other, you can bet that these same bible-thumping assholes break many of the very same ten commandments on a regular basis.

Finally, they could have posted something from the Gospels, from the lips of Jesus himself such as "love thy neighbor" and "turn the other cheek", but noooo...

[–] cabron_offsets 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Everythingispenguins 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Does it say which ten commandments?

[–] nexguy 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)
  1. Thou shalt not make a sandwich while at a stop light
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] nutsack 12 points 1 month ago

That's pretty smart The United States is a place for smart people

[–] Maggoty 11 points 1 month ago

Oh no. That was Kentucky. Notably they don't have the ten commandments in their classrooms for some weird reason. I guess we're going to find out if that SCOTUS ruling still applies.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Goodbye secularism, goodbye constitution and whoever still likes what's been the original idea behind the foundation of the United States of America.

load more comments
view more: next ›