this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2024

358 points (95.7% liked)

Not The Onion

12533 readers

1218 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

kescusay

358

7-Eleven plans to sell hot dog-flavored sparkling water (www.kptv.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/nottheonion

92 comments fedilink hide all child comments

The retailer has teamed up with beverage brand Miracle Seltzer to create a lineup of sparkling waters in four different flavors: lemon lime, green apple, sweet orange and hot dog.

7-Eleven says the hot dog flavor is a twist on one of its most beloved snacks, the Big Bite Hot Dog.

According to a news release, the Big Bite Hot Dog Sparkling Water is a liquified version of the iconic snack – ketchup and mustard flavors included.

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] [email protected] 87 points 8 months ago (5 children)

Now do chocolate starfish

[–] [email protected] 30 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Instructions unclear. I showed a 7/11 clerk my butthole.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 8 months ago

Sounds like the instructions were clear!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Did you get yourself a cookie?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Only in a hot dog flavored water.

[–] samus12345 4 points 8 months ago

A huge supply of tish

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] [email protected] 73 points 8 months ago (3 children)

More details on the availability of this flavor will be revealed on April 1 – but in the meantime, the rest of the 7-Select x Miracle Seltzer lineup including Lemon Lime, Green Apple and Sweet Orange can be found at select 7-Eleven® stores.

I am suspicious.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

But if you announce it outside of april 1st, you're the fool then.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Well that's what I am thinking - you can't claim it's an April Fool's Day joke outside of the actual day (and usually the morning). If it's an actual AFD joke then just announce it on the day.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Hmmmm 🤔

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

7-11 has an april fools history so make of that as u will.

[–] NineMileTower 51 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

MFW the hot dog flavored water drops:

IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS!

[–] Lost_Faith 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)

but but, where is the chocolate starfish?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

It's holding the hotdog

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Somehow, the "sparkling" part makes it even more gross xD

A chocolate starfish would be the perfect pairing dish to this drink I'd say!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

this, is not, a test.....

this, is, realityyyy

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago

Putting out a product that's offensively bad in a limited run, selling a bunch of it real quick for the novelty value and then discontinuing it is a pretty tried and true strategy. We're here talking about it right now, and a certain percentage of us are gonna hear about it and think "That's so terrible that I have to try it just so I know how terrible it is." If you can accurately gauge the number of people who are willing to buy something bad just to have a novel experience you can make money selling glizzygulps.

[–] MedicPigBabySaver 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

April 1, 2024.... silly peeps.

[–] samus12345 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Announcing an April Fool's prank before the actual day is BS.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Fred Durst could really use the money and should get a cut.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] SteefLem 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

[–] samus12345 3 points 8 months ago

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

This is something Japan would do.

[–] tacosplease 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I had a bacon flavored soda once. It was one of the most disgusting things I've ever consumed, and I love bacon.

[–] bulwark 6 points 8 months ago

I made bacon flavored vodka for Bloody Marys once. It wasn't bad, but pretty niche.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Dog water. 🤢

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Fuck me that's gotta fucking taste like fuck, fucking dumb fuck company with dumb fuck ideas fucking making dumb fuck money with this dumb fuck product.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] gmtom 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

[–] Zahille7 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don't get it

[–] gmtom 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Hot dog water

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Carighan 7 points 8 months ago

I never felt this sick in my life, not even after hours of riding rollercoasters. 🤢

[–] Donjuanme 7 points 8 months ago

I for one am ecstatic that April fools jokes/pranks seem to be coming back into fashion, the last few years have been practically devoid of anything fun happening around this time of the year.

[–] FlashMobOfOne 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Barf.

[–] samus12345 5 points 8 months ago

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

So they carbonated the steam water from the hot dog machines and put leftover ketchup and mustard in it? America, racing to the bottom of the food innovation world.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

7-11 is owned by a Japanese company, and has stores worldwide. You're free to make whatever you want, though!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

us cuisine is something else.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (6 children)

So it’s not even proper hot dog flavor, since ketchup doesn’t belong on a hot dog.

[–] PoastRotato 29 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I admire the bravery it takes to be so wrong in public like this. You're an inspiration

[–] FattestMattest 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It shouldn't be on the hot dog but IN the hot dog. Ketchup stuffed hot dogs.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

My most sincere apologies, but WHAT DID YOU SAY?

[–] glimse 6 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Not who you're replying to but....I didn't think I liked hot dogs until I ate a Chicago hot dog and realized it was just the ketchup making it slimy and sweet. Ketchup on hotdogs is nasty lol

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (8 children)

Sweet?!

So I just had a look into it and apparently American tomato ketchup is one third sugar (corn syrup, obviously...). Ketchup is supposed to be savory, America; why do you do this?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I think it's the same here in Canada as I find most regular ketchup (especially Heinz) sickly sweet. I actually buy a no sugar added variant that's much better to me. It tastes more like tomato-infused vinegar.