this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 127 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Unfortunately my arsehole doesn't take kindly to being bothered unlubed.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Then you shouldn't have had it circumcised

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 9 months ago (7 children)

Pro tip, get some solid coconit oil, melt it into ice cube trays, and wait for it to solidify again. Then, all you have to do is pop a cube in and wait a few minutes for your body heat to melt it and you're good to go

[–] Zehzin 41 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Instructions unclear, put ice cold coconut oil up my keester

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think you accidentally followed the instructions correctly.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I think the intent is to leave the ice cube tray at room temp

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[–] VelvetStorm 13 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Other than the last step this is great advice. My ex and I used coconut oil and it was great.

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[–] CurlyMoustache 12 points 9 months ago

I've had ice cream headaches before, but not what you described here

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Just go slow and use pre

[–] [email protected] 82 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (16 children)

My circumcised bros, can you really not fap without lotion?

[–] [email protected] 125 points 9 months ago (5 children)

I don't know why people keep saying you need it to do the deed, I've been at it for 20 years without lotion and it's fine

Adding lube or lotion to the equation just makes clean up worse

[–] CurlyMoustache 41 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You been at it for 20 years? I think you need some lube, mate

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

SFW GIF BTW

[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago (2 children)

The smegma gang gets weird fucking ideas sometimes

[–] [email protected] 132 points 9 months ago (7 children)

Imagine being so incapable of washing your penis that you need a bunch of it removed.

[–] TrousersMcPants 54 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (4 children)

This implies we were given a choice

[–] [email protected] 75 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (6 children)

Saying people with foreskins a "smegma gang" is a pretty good indicator that one doesn't wash properly and assumes that others don't either.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

I don't think they were talking about circumcised people, rather people who somehow think it's necessary

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm jealous of you... I get nothing without lube. Need head stimulation and it's NOT good dry. But yeah, cleanup sucks

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago

Different strokes for different folks

[–] Sludgeyy 20 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Not everyone is cut the same

Some get more, and some get less cut off.

Sounds like you were fortunate and got less cut off.

Circumcision is common in US, mentioning lotion with masterbating is common.

Like you said, no one would use lotion unless they had to.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago

I have never used it

[–] Toneswirly 23 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I used to be able to, but a lifetime of manual labor has laden my hands with callouses that make it HIGHLY unpleasant without some lube

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago

Bro got the built in texture

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

They are ribbed for your pleasure

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[–] doingless 20 points 9 months ago

I've never used lube.

[–] cm0002 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Nah I can do it just fine without, I've only ever used lotion like a few times in my life just to try because it seems like a common thing when you see a reference to "Lotion and Kleenex". I felt like it brought nothing to the experience but an extra mess to clean up

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (4 children)

We can. At least most of us. Though I suspect there's significantly less play in the skin, so it may be more difficult for some.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I always wondered what happened to all those circumcised foreskins after they're removed. Turns out they formed a gang.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Calamari night at the buffet

[–] adj16 21 points 9 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 38 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I'm cut and I don't need lube. Like don't just mash it bro/sis

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[–] Fridgeratr 37 points 9 months ago

I never asked for this

[–] Aggravationstation 22 points 9 months ago (1 children)

We're a gang now? Sweet! Or salty?

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[–] indepndnt 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I guess need is debatable, but lube makes it better anyway. Why wouldn't you want lube?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (4 children)
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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

True North strong and free

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

No foreskin and no lubricant, just scabs from ripping the skin

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