this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2024
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Vladimir Putin is going on a property hunt, ordering officials to find Russian assets that once belonged to its former empire or were owned by the Soviet Union.

An order from the Russian president published late Thursday allocated funding for a state unit to conduct searches for property abroad and ensure Russia’s ownership rights are registered. The document didn’t indicate the size of the budget for the operation or what kinds of property are being sought.

While it’s unclear what prompted the order, Putin’s interest in former imperial possessions is unlikely to ease concerns about his ambitions among neighboring states after Russia’s invasion of Ukraine upended European security.

At its peak, the Russian Empire extended into territories of modern Poland and the Baltic states of Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania, as well as Finland. It dissolved under the pressure of World War I and the 1917 Bolshevik revolution led by Vladimir Lenin that marked the birth of the Communist state.

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[–] DaddleDew 114 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm reading between the lines: "Russia is broke"

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Looking for change in the ~~couch cushions~~ old countries they used to own.

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[–] capt_wolf 54 points 1 year ago (1 children)

While it’s unclear what prompted the order, Putin’s interest in former imperial possessions...

"We consider all former nations of the USSR to be former imperial possessions. We will be taking them back."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A while back, some nut in the Duma said they should reclaim all former Russian territory, including Alaska. It would amuse me greatly to see them try.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

We wouldn't even need to deploy the Army, the locals would curbstomp them back to Siberia.

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[–] AngryCommieKender 6 points 1 year ago

That Duma official has forgotten that the local Alaskan population is armed for much more massive wildlife than a Russian conscript.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And yet the mods remove posts about the Polish and Estonia PMs warning about future Russian aggression... Interesting.

Some might even say... Propaganda.

[–] jordanlund 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I removed them because the same story was posted half a dozen times back to back to back. "Putin to attack Nato in 3-5/5-8 years."

The original story was kept, the others removed as duplicates.

[–] deafboy 8 points 1 year ago

Thank you for your service!

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago

Sorry Pootie, just because USSR owned it, doesn't mean your shitty little gas station gets to claim it.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago

Casus Belli: Artifact Claim War on NATO

NATO: "Your low character is the subject of Greek plays. May your humors rot in your living body. We accept your surrender."

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It makes sense as the Russian military does a terrible job keeping track of their assets. They left an entire missile cruiser at the bottom of the Black Sea.

[–] FuglyDuck 10 points 1 year ago (5 children)

that was a submarine missile cruiser.

It can stay under indefinitely!

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[–] Nobody 37 points 1 year ago

The Russian mob needs foreign property to borrow against. That’s how they operate. The money machine is having some problems with sanctions, and storage is constantly being depleted.

[–] SpruceBringsteen 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Theres always money in the banana stand

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

It looks like he burnt down the banana stand

[–] carl_dungeon 31 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Pootin should order a hunt for his dick and balls.

[–] capt_wolf 22 points 1 year ago

"Mister Putin, sir... With all respect, after thorough searching and examination, we have found them to be firmly lodged within your own rectum... We also found what appears to be an antique mold of Adolf Hitler's dick and balls behind them..."

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Hunt for Red Cocktober

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Putin small pp.

Rasputin big pp.

[–] paddirn 30 points 1 year ago (4 children)

He’s probably going to start claiming Alaska as Russian property.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

And we'll back the Swede's bid for St. Petersberg & Moscow.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They can take it from my frozen, dead hands.

[–] tyrant 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Based on this comment and your user name it seems like you have a lot of hills you're ready to die on

[–] FuglyDuck 5 points 1 year ago

goes to show how resillient they are, heh.

[–] Rakonat 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Don't even bother sending the Army to defend it. The locals are armed to the teeth, and the terrain is mountainous--perfect for guerrilla warfare. Let the first wave of landings go uncontested, then have the Navy pick off all the reinforcements and supply boats.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

This is the exact shit the Nazis did in the late 1930s.

[–] Chocrates 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't get it, what are they looking for? Do they want all the faberge eggs?

[–] FlyingSquid 11 points 1 year ago

"You are to return the nesting doll by order of Vladimir Putin!"

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

he already has a bunch of Republicans convinced that giving back Alaska is not only a good idea but the right thing to do

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He owns those people now. He can have them back.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

those bitches can't roll over fast enough for him.. they figure if we give it back, maybe he won't invade..

[–] Uglyhead 10 points 1 year ago

Got em in his back pocket since the RNC hack.

[–] Passerby6497 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Russia can't even handle a war against a former client state, there's no chance they'd invade a current superpower and former near peer nation like the US. If they tried, they'd get stomped into the dirt before either side started waving their nuclear dick at the other.

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[–] BeautifulMind 13 points 1 year ago

He's mad that there's a move afoot to sell seized Russian assets and use the proceeds to fund Ukraine's defense. The signal is: if you buy these things (yachts, real estate, whatever) Russia will see to it as a matter of official policy that you will fall carelessly out of a high window somewhere. The quiet part said out loud, tho, is that Russia now claims that anything it ever held, whether as the USSR or imperial Russia, or the current Russian Federation, is theirs forever no takebacks.

Basically the read on this should be: Russia is having trouble laundering rubles into non-sanctioned currencies (those foreign assets are basically conduits to do that) and is now saying essentially that if they can't keep our offshore loot they'll just seize all of Eastern Europe and demand tribute from their vassal territories

...of course, if Russia could actually do any of that it already would have

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Looks like Putin is going on antique roadshow

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Putin finds a new way to be horrible. He labeled it something new, but it’s still the same old shit.

[–] RizzRustbolt 7 points 1 year ago

Wasn't that technically everything in Russia?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Let us know if you find the Amber Room, will you?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

The Hunt. Is. On.

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