this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2023
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Think about how you have treated both strangers and people you know to answer this question accurately. e.g.: If you say you like people but constantly avoid talking or doing any activity with other people do you actually like people?

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 11 months ago

I mean, have you met themβ€½

[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago

This quote from Men In Black sums it up for me: "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it."

[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I dislike them as a group / species but give each individual the benefit of the doubt.

I do believe that, in general but not exclusively, humans are selfish, short-sighted, and greedy. But I still treat individuals with kindness.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

That always makes me think of this great moment from "Men In Black."

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

β€œYou wouldn’t know it, from some of the things I’ve said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don’t like people for extended periods of time. I’m ok with them for a short period of time, but once you get up past around a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there. And my reason for this is one that you may share, possibly β€” I have a low tolerance level for stupid bullshit.” - George Carlin

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Flawed premise. I mean I like polar bears but I avoid doing any activity with them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You like the idea of polar bears.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

@AnneBonny you're No True Scotsmanning me! :) By that logic the only person who really liked bears was Timothy Treadwell.

Seriously though, I don't think the number of people we interact with is a good indicator of how much we like or dislike them as a species.

[–] OmenAtom 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Ive been hurt too many times to trust basically anyone. I treat people how i wish theyd treat me, but i dont like them

[–] spedswir 7 points 11 months ago

This exactly my feelings too. Keep treating people nicely, but you see enough shit every day to make you not like people in general

[–] Chobbes 12 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I feel like your example is pretty judgemental. You can absolutely like people but rather do your own thing most of the time, or not want to bother people. Or maybe you’re not much of a talker or whatever. I think it’s best not to prescribe how people should behave, it can be super alienating.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Maybe you're right. I'm certainly not an expert by any means.

The point I was trying to make is that we have a tendency to see ourselves in a biased way. We lie to ourselves all the time about who we are and what we want.

If you can step out of your own head and judge yourself based upon your actions instead of based on how you think of yourself you can hopefully see yourself in a more accurate way.

I don't believe I prescribed any behavior. I gave the example to encourage thinking about how you value people based on your actions.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

People as a whole I dislike, however some individuals are great.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Yeah I've got like 5-10 people I like, everyone else can get fucked lol

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I don't like being physically close to almost anyone, and especially not to strangers. It's ok when each person has his own assigned space and everything is orderly and quiet, like on a plane or in a movie theater, but being in a crowd is both kind of disgusting and also upsetting in some other way which I don't know how to put into words - I just want to leave and I can't really express why. I can go into crowded places if I need to without freaking out, but afterwards I'm going to be in a bad mood for a while both because of the experience of being in a crowd and because of anger at the unfairness of the fact that for various reasons I live in a big city and I have to deal with all these... humans whenever I need to go outdoors.

So yeah, I guess you can say that I don't like people.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

sounds like you dont hate the humans themselves but just the overwhelm of the crowds. i dont think thats abnormal.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

People in general are idiots. People in large groups are even bigger idiots. Most organized groups of people are assholes.

However, individuals can be quite lovely. Or they can be like the above listing; idiots and/or assholes. Individually, I don't mind the risk of running into the unpleasant ones too much. There's always the chance that I'll run into the pleasant ones, so I don't automatically avoid individuals.

But groups? Fuck that shit, not without multiple weapons on me and a clear escape route. Even online, once got get groups going, the tide shifts to idiotic assholery at quantum speeds. It takes effort to not do it, and most people are too damn lazy to be decent online.

What's funny? People irl fucking like me. I'm chill on the surface, I'm friendly and polite. I'm outright fucking charming. But that comes along with the assholes and idiots (or idiotic assholes) thinking that I'm the same kind of person they are, and showing their real self.

And that's even with the fact that I don't shake hands, and enforce a personal space of about four feet, just beyond arm's reach unless I have no other choice. Assertively enforced at that. I'll calmly and politely state that I prefer strangers stay far enough away that they can't touch me, nor I them. And they fucking like that! The few that take it as a joke and decide to press it get stopped gently, and told that I'll have to assume they mean me harm if they don't stop. And they like that!

It's fucking crazy.

I'm not saying everyone always likes me, but it's a rare thing when I don't end up listening to people I just met, often until I have to assert the fact that I need to leave because my body can't handle it.

I don't mind that, it just always surprises me how willing people are to show their ugliest sides so often. Like, the decent people, you expect because people tend to want to be liked. But the casual racism is so fucking common. The political rants that turn into literal spit flying from mouths.

People are fucking idiots and/or assholes. But it is just so damn rewarding when you find the ones that aren't, or at least try not to be. When you find those people, you fucking cherish it.

So, in general, I don't like people, no.

[–] qooqie 7 points 11 months ago

I like people in general. I think once you get past any awkward beginnings most people are just that, people. There are people I dislike m, but definitely enjoy chatting with most people out there

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

I think my thoughts on people are like a quote by Dennis e Taylor "I like people on the abstract but not in the concrete"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

I dislike people in general. It’s almost like there’s peer pressure to be hateful. When being kind is seen as a weakness, something is horribly wrong

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

When I have no choice but to interact with people, I do my best to treat them with respect. However, I would say I'm generally ambivalent toward people overall and do my best to avoid them. I'm just not a social person and I never will be. Being forced into social settings is exceptionally stressful to me.

[–] Illuminostro 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I love people. I talk to everyone, every chance I get.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

And you are here, on the internet?! What a rare species. We must observe you.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

I don't dislike people. They just confuse and overwhelm me and this is incredibly exhausting.

[–] jasep 5 points 11 months ago (2 children)

"People are the worst"

-me

/s

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Me with only half sarcasm. Or maybe 20% sarcasm. They are kind of objectively the worst.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Going out and actually meeting people, I generally like them. You find most of the time they're also just trying to get through their lives and managing the best they can. There is a lot more love than hate out there, if you just but look.

Dealing with people in politics or other identity based topics. I would say strong dislike. You find people will hear what they want to hear and try and make your opinions fit in a pre labelled box. Strong beliefs also cause folks to turn a blind eye to evils in their own group. I just wish people were devoted to making these groups worthy of their unyielding support. The world may be a far, far better place.

I try to apply that last paragraph to myself as much as I can. My only exception is sports. I feel that is a safe space to let my inner tribalism have some freedom. But outside of that, I try to be most critical of my institutions and ideologies. In hopes I don't become the person I hate.

Sorry, I went on a bit of a ramble there.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

I have had way more positive interactions with people than negative ones.
Even strangers.

I also need people around for my well-being.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

People are awesome and exhausting at the same time. Socializing is like exercising. If I don't do it I feel horrible. If I do it too much without a break I feel horrible. If I do it just enough, then stop doing it and rest, it's nice. Moderation.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

People are generelly superficial, fueled by their egos, and interested mostly in sexual activities.

I think in the western world, this is also promoted through Hollywood as normal behavior for a human being.

So what is there to like about human beings like that? I guess I'm more attracted to people with some kind of spiritual guidance, because at least they are working on who they are and trying to be a positive influence on the world.

[–] agitatedpotato 3 points 11 months ago

I try to remember that a lot of people are the way they are because of the conditions surrounding their existence, but that just depersonalizes my dislike for them in most cases, doesn't really make you like someone who you wouldn't otherwise.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I like the people I already know. I don't like the people I don't know yet.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Like, until proven otherwise.

[–] orgrinrt 2 points 11 months ago

In general, I adore and like people. Capable of such beautiful things!

I like seeing people smile and interacting with them in order to absorb that light and shine it back. And if none seem to be there, I like to try and get one going.

But I get anxious where there are masses of people present. City streets. Malls. Campuses.

It’s not that I suddenly dislike people. I just get overwhelmed with my adhd and base quirks, too much stimuli and too much of everything going on everywhere.

I love people as individuals for the most part, i.e unless they specifically give a reason not to. Many do give that reason, unfortunately. But the vast majority never do, in my (privileged?) experience, which is amazing and exciting to me.

But I tend to avoid masses of people. Not because I dislike them, but because I dislike the anxiety I gain.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

People are fine. I hope they all find happiness. I've never gotten the hang of the societal protocols, so I try to keep conversation professional and short.

[–] FartsWithAnAccent 2 points 11 months ago

A little of column A, a little of column B: People are a mixed bag lol

[–] Monster96 2 points 11 months ago

I don't really like nor do I dislike people. Having social anxiety as long as I have has taught me to have no strong opinions on people. I won't go out of my way to talk to people not because I don't like people but because I'm scared I'm going to say something stupid. So, I guess in a way I like people but my stupid brain makes it seem like I don't like people.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

I like people a lot and I think everyone's life holds value, for the most part and I'm pretty optimistic about most people. On a personal level, i dont like everyone i meet. i can't stand certain people, I don't like crowds, and I especially hate everyone on the road.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Based upon my actions, I tend to avoid people probably from a fear of judgement, and maybe partly because I think I am better than them because I like to think I'm more informed than them usually. I also like to think and tell myself that I like people even when I don't necessarily live up to that in reality. In general, I try to assume that people are good, while keeping in mind that they are inherently selfish.

Even if people say and have a lot of naive or ignorant viewpoints, I try to remind myself they may partly hold those viewpoints to feel better about themselves. Everyone wants to feel like they are important, and some people do that by tearing other people down. If the only way someone can feel better about themself is by telling themselves at least they aren't black, gay, trans, a lib, a commie, a repub, poor, etc. then they must have a pretty sad life.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I like people but I hate crowds. Just find them annoying

[–] RBWells 1 points 11 months ago

I'm not hyper social - like at work there are people who only like to go get coffee WITH someone, I don't even think about that, just go get coffee if I want it.

But I am comfortable with people and do like them & care about them, not a misanthrope. I think just because I am not usually alone, I like being alone. If I was usually alone, I'd want to hang out with people more.

Do I think we are a force for good in the world? No, I think collectively we are a big ol fuckup. But people can be so funny, so insightful, loving, helpful too. And I do think that over time we are improving, like two steps forward and one step backwards - the past was so violent, even in my lifetime my city has gotten much less violent. And we keep learning more about the world and universe.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

I like some people and dislike others. I neither like not dislike people as a general category. I am an introvert because I require chunks of solitude to function. I am outgoing because I enjoy socialization.