this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
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Earlier this year, the US Food and Drug Administration gave Neuralink, which Musk cofounded in 2016, approval to launch human trials of its device that Musk has described as a "Fitbit in your skull." The FDA had previously rejected Neuralink's bid for human testing in March over safety concerns, Reuters reported, including that the wires connected to the brain chip could move within a subject's head or that the chip could overheat.

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[–] FlyingSquid 98 points 1 year ago (5 children)

What the fuck is wrong with people?

[–] [email protected] 115 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (10 children)

Neuralink said in a blog post that it was looking for people who had paralysis in all four limbs because of a spinal-cord injury or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.

Not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, these people are willing to take a risk in order to overcome difficult conditions, and that should be allowed. On the other hand, it feels like Neuralink is preying on their hopes.

If the company figurehead wasn't a libertarian billionaire edgelord, I might look past that second hand. No chance of that, though. He's going to kill people, and then he's going to retweet memes about it.

[–] Caradoc879 46 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wasn't there a report about dozens of dead monkeys from animal trials a few months ago?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I dont think they reached dozens, but yes this is the same project that had dead monkey headlines rolling around

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not just dead, lot's of suffering beforehand. Those were some nauseating stories.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I've read a lot of disturbing stuff on the internet but those descriptions of what the monkeys endured made me feel really uncomfortable

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[–] grue 43 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I admit, under the right circumstances, cybernetic enhancements could be cool.

Anything connected in any way with Elon Musk is emphatically not the right circumstances, of course.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

We're dumb animals, not much different from other dumb animals.

If squirrels had news media, they could have a story that says, "Thousands of squirrels are lining up to try to cross busy streets in front of cars."

And some number of squirrels would read that and think, "What the hell is wrong with them?"

[–] FlyingSquid 17 points 1 year ago

At least crossing the street gives them a chance of getting to the acorns. This achieves nothing.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

I mean, if I couldn't communicate with the outside world or have use of my limbs I would take any risk to regain that functionality. This could have a real shot of giving people with terrible conditions a better quality of life.

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[–] DigitalFrank 79 points 1 year ago (4 children)

"Think about how dumb the average person is. Now, realize that half of them are dumber than that."

    • George Carlin
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[–] captainlezbian 78 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Even if it was safe “Fitbit in your skull” sounds awful

[–] jeffw 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“Please track my thoughts and sell the data, daddy Elon!” - the people lining up for this probably

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[–] gnate 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And then there's the ads...

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[–] Son_of_dad 59 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Love that they're calling it a Fitbit in your skull. Cause Fitbit is currently dying and removing support. Imagine getting a skull implant that stops getting support and updates after a year, and you now have a useless device in your brain

[–] rifugee 14 points 1 year ago

you now have a useless device in your brain

I think that if you are one of the first to volunteer for this, then you probably wouldn't notice.

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[–] Fades 59 points 1 year ago (5 children)

As I said in another thread about nLink:

Anyone getting this shit will die just like every single fucking monkey test subject. If they don’t die, their suffering will be unbearable

https://www.wired.com/story/elon-musk-pcrm-neuralink-monkey-deaths/

Go on Elon, show us how it’s done and take the first one

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 21 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Dad got his brain chip in 2010. Worked great. Had nothing to do with neuralink. They've been doing these implants safely for at least that long. The fact that musk can't keep monkeys alive says a lot about the fact that neuralink isn't ready.

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[–] frazw 43 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"Your trial subscription to module: 'breathing' will end in 30 days. If you'd like to continue your subscription please accept the new terms and conditions and link your payment method using the following link."

P.s. I know neuralink cannot do this... Yet

[–] MeanEYE 39 points 1 year ago

This is like self-solving problem then?

[–] foggy 33 points 1 year ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

tf is my skull gonna do with a fitbit?

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's useful for keeping track of your mental gymnastics.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Brilliant. Purchasing now.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm sure Musk won't randomly disable any features remotely.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

I would guess, and this is completely a guess, these are Elon fans who think that the vaccines were dangerous and had microchips in them.

[–] instamat 27 points 1 year ago (3 children)

He’s done wonders with Twitter/Tesla/spacex, I don’t see how he could foul this up

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[–] Riccosuave 26 points 1 year ago
[–] Dkarma 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Everyone needs to read about the poor monkeys in these trials.

Horrific.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm happy they've moved on from testing on unwilling monkeys, to willing humans.

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[–] xkforce 25 points 1 year ago

It does not surprise me that muskrats would sign up for this. Theyre basically brainwashed anyway so a chip wouldnt really change much.

[–] idunnololz 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

natural selection is back baby

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[–] PeckerBrown 18 points 1 year ago

Fuck him, and fuck that.

[–] oDDmON 18 points 1 year ago

Welcome, to the latest episode of Evolution In Action!

Today’s contestants will attempt to survive having foreign objects inserted into their braincases!

But first, a word from our sponsors.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

We... at least I learnt about this in school. Its called natural selection.

[–] Gigan 18 points 1 year ago

No way in hell would I do that. I can't think of a worse technology to be an earlier adopter on.

[–] weeahnn 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hooo boii. I just cannot wait till we can't sleep because Muskrat keeps appearing in our dreams, trying to convince us that he is a cool memer.

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[–] snek 17 points 1 year ago

Musk makes it sound like he is the only person with a company investing in this, even though.

One example is Synchron that already beat him to human trials two years ago

[–] Starkstruck 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ah, natural selection. I don't wish death upon any of these people, but I certainly won't be surprised when they start dropping like flies (or the countless monkeys in the trials).

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[–] KroninJ 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I'd be in line myself of it wasn't for a few key things.

Successful trials

Elon's history on fucking with shit for his own entertainment and/or personal gain

You know this will be connected to the internet to work

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[–] ProfessorScience 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I need one of these chips like I need a hole in my... oh.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Eh, someday we're going to have safe, powerful cybernetic implants and it'll be because some people were willing to be test subjects. I'm not willing to be a test subject myself but I'm glad that other people are.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

With the way corporations are behaving with our electronic devices, I wouldn't trust any of them with my body.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Before you enjoy your mid-afternoon nap, a word from several of our sponsors. Please close your eyes for optimal viewing experience"

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I can see 2024 headlines: "Neuralink test subjects try to crash into pedestrians or blow up before reaching space. Workers implanted the wrong chips due to time pressure from the CEO"

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