this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2023
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Why fear an automated text message? The reasons are mind-bendingly ludicrous, but surf long-running waves of disinformation around 5G networks, the COVID vaccines, and a nefarious federal government intent on harming its citizens.

“These tests and exercises or drills, if you prefer, are always preceding of, or simultaneous with, an actual created crisis,” the Hawaii-based pastor J.D. Farag said in a recent sermon, clips of which spread on X and TikTok.

“The crisis is first simulated and then created,” said Farag, who has nearly 300,000 subscribers on his “End Times news and global events” YouTube page, before comparing the impending event to the Sept. 11 attacks and COVID-19.

Jason Shurka, a spirituality influencer with around 170,000 followers each on YouTube and Instagram, warned followers in videos last month that an emergency broadcast, “disguised as a test,” would send a high-frequency signal to devices across the country “with the intention of activating graphene oxide and other nanoparticles that have been inserted into billions of human beings around the world through the obvious mediums,” presumably a reference to the COVID-19 vaccine.

On Truth Social, the Trump-backed social media network, one QAnon influencer noted the emergency test coincided with rumored nuclear evacuation drills in Russia and warned, “You and your body have been continuously assaulted by every poison, bioagent, medication, and criminal warfare device (millimeter, x-rays, and microwaves) conceivable, for your entire lives.”

And on TikTok, one since-removed video included the caption, “Y’all get ready. October 4th their [sic] activating Marburg virus through 5 g signal which they are activating on October 4. This will affect anyone who took the shots.” The accompanying video featured anti-vaccine activist Todd Callender warning that a 5G broadcast would cause “liquid nanoparticles to swell” and release heretofore contained pathogens into the bodies of COVID-19 vaccine recipients, causing “a Marburg epidemic” as well as, really, a race of human zombies. (The Marburg virus is a dangerous hemorrhagic fever virus.)

On Reddit, one user shared what they claimed was a text message from their landlord, notifying tenants that “we intend to enter your apartment and shut off your power” for two hours because of the supposed fire risk to “all our multiple appliances that we furnish for all of the apartments.” The same text message warned tenants of a distinct risk for “the Covid vax’d.”

The news isn’t all bad: At least a few conspiracy-theory-minded webizens see the Wireless Emergency Alerts test as a positive development: One Truth Social user, for example, pointed out that the digits in the military times for the announced start and end to the test, 14:20 and 14:50, added up to 17 ― a supposed reference to Q, the 17th letter in the alphabet and a calling card for the QAnon conspiracy theory.

“PROOF The White Hats Control the 10/4 EAS Test!” the post announced, using a slang term for upstanding patriots.

“According to some, White Hats have full control of communications,” another Truth Social user posted separately. “If anything these vibrations will be healing frequencies so I’m told…… I for one am not taking any measures to hide my phone…..”

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[–] [email protected] 115 points 1 year ago (9 children)

while this asinine conspiracy crap is over the top, there is at least one reason to be aware of the EBS test... specifically for people that may be hiding a phone - for many legit reasons, including a domestic violence situation. making sure the phone is completely powered off (and will not alert) for the test may prevent a nasty domestic encounter. that is all.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago (6 children)

A bunch of people who snuck phones into live performances, rehabs, and prisons are about to have an interesting day.

[–] toasteecup 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What's that ringing nose? It's coming from your ass?

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[–] Hackerman_uwu 17 points 1 year ago

I’m not going to ask why you thought of this but I want to say you’re a good egg for raising it here.

One love.

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[–] Sanctus 90 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This went off at my MAGAfied workplace. I screamed "The vaccine!" and clutched my chest right as it did. I got a few qultists to jump in their seats.

[–] billwashere 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This was hilarious. Almost makes me wish I was surrounded by these guys just so I could do this … OK maybe not.

[–] grabyourmotherskeys 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Sanctus 13 points 1 year ago

Can confirm, it is not worth it.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Doing god's work

[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Guys, this is a golden opportunity!

Get on Right wing forums and tell them this test has been aborted, because all the clever paranoid nutjobs were onto them.

But, in fact, the test has just been rescheduled to a random time, or rather at random times for the next year or so. Until Biden's time is up and Trump is declared Supreme Emperor I guess. Because really, if you were really conspiring to send a mind control message, you wouldn't broadcast the date & time ffs.

So the only safe thing to do is to turn off their devices, all their devices, and leave them off until after the next election. That includes TVs, of course, and especially Fox News, cuz the Democrats know that Fox News viewers are more cautious and took fewer vaccines, so they'll have scheduled extra Emergency Broadcasts for them.

Fast forward a year, in which all the crazies have to go out and live on the real world and talk to real people, and we might just have a sane country back. At the very least, we'd have a year off...

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[–] givesomefucks 51 points 1 year ago (3 children)

These people are so fucking stupid.

They think a cellphone has the ability to "activate vaccines and give people Marbug virus", but for some reason think if they turn their phone off to not get the message, that's the only time the signal could be sent out?

Cherry on top:

I saw a different article about this where the nut jobs were telling people to mask up because chemtrails are going to happen at the same time. Also something about drones that send out the signal?

There's just never any logic with them

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Unfortunately, I think they’re fucking unwell.

Opportunist media on the right hypes them up and “yes-and”s their paranoia.

Opportunist media on the center-left makes fun of them and then moves along.

Real message should be that we need universal health care, including psychiatry.

[–] fubo 16 points 1 year ago

There's a lot of undiagnosed (and self-medicated) anxiety disorders out there, and right-wing conspiracism gleefully feeds on it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Oh so NOW they think masks work

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[–] shadowSprite 43 points 1 year ago (7 children)

We missed our chance to all get together and collectively start acting like zombies as soon as the alert fired.

Then again... all of these lunatics have guns and are just dying for an excuse to start blasting. I'd rather not get shot trolling the crazies.

[–] TechyDad 11 points 1 year ago

Starts a Thriller dance

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

a nefarious federal government intent on harming its citizens

That part isn't crazy for them. It's what they vote for every time they're given the chance.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It's literally the point of the southern strategy: hurting your fellow Americans (and yourself) for the lulz/racism/economic anxiety/owning the libs/etc. It's been 50+ years of the working class shooting itself in the foot for Schadenfreude .

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do these people have the memory of an earthworm?

We've had regular testing of alerts over the radio and TV, as well as regular testing of sirens for decades.

[–] Treczoks 18 points 1 year ago

They always have selective memories. Very selective.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Even entertaining this theory for a second longer than I really want to, why in these people’s minds would the US government want to destroy itself by turning its citizens into zombies?

[–] fubo 30 points 1 year ago

Because in this mythology, the Democrats are demonic entities who desire evil for the sake of evil.

[–] cedarmesa 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
[–] xenomor 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I heard that this is Biden’s Order 66, and it’s going to activate the antifa super-soldiers and turn all frogs gay.

[–] TechyDad 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I heard that this is Biden’s Order 66,

And it worked too. You don't see any Jedi walking around, do you?

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[–] NightAuthor 26 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Why are they quoting people with smaller social media followings than my grandma? Who gives a shit.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It baffles me on stupid some of the human race is. How do they function? I know they're fueled by fear and hate but to actually function and hold a job is just astonishing to me.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

And on TikTok, one since-removed video included the caption, “Y’all get ready. October 4th their [sic] activating Marburg virus through 5 g signal which they are activating on October 4. This will affect anyone who took the shots.” The accompanying video featured anti-vaccine activist Todd Callender warning that a 5G broadcast would cause “liquid nanoparticles to swell” and release heretofore contained pathogens into the bodies of COVID-19 vaccine recipients, causing “a Marburg epidemic” as well as, really, a race of human zombies. (The Marburg virus is a dangerous hemorrhagic fever virus.)

Oh, that'll be easy to disprove when I eat their face because human flesh is a rare delicacy, not because I'm a zombie. They'll be so mad, I bet.

Edit: After the FEMA message, I'm definitely liquid nano-particley. Am I going to see the Mars bugs soon?

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[–] CharlesDarwin 19 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Just went off. Nothing happened. Another dumb right wing thing put to bed.

[–] glitch1985 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

I'm bummed. I was hoping I'd get some Antifa super soldier powers but my phone just made an annoying noise.

[–] A_Random_Idiot 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

stop with your left wing liberal lying, you left wing liberal shill!

I'll have you know that 3 different viruses tried to be activated in my body the second it went off, and only by pouring hydrochloric acid in my ear and soaking my anus in drain cleaner for 18 hours was I able to destroy your liberal government antennas in my body was I able to prevent it!

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[–] AnUnusualRelic 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I know this is a worldwide phenomenon, but I've never met a live one over here (non US). How common are those lunatics over there?

[–] TipRing 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There are several people in my office of ~50 people who called in sick or are trying to avoid phones today.

[–] cm0002 24 points 1 year ago

You should get everyone to start acting sick and weird lolol

"Bob it's so strange I'm not feeling so well all of a sudden"

"All of a sudden Bob you started....smelling delicious"

Lmao

[–] J12 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

These dumbfucks are dangerous.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Do you remember pre-mass-adoption of the internet? These headlines remind of the hoax/canned spam emails, like the, "forward this on to 50 people or a loved one will die" type stuff.

Back then idiot friends would occasionally sign in to AOL from dial up and send those to me. Decades later we've turned the hoax email "To: field" into an "@" soap box that reaches thousands and echoes far quicker. I think we used to be blissfully ignorant and much less influenced back then. I miss that version of my mom, the one that didn't think masks are satanic rituals.

E: I don't want to come off as head in the sand, old ways are the best... I've developed a much better world view since the internet came along and that's a good thing.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Good, live in self-manufactured fear, morons.

[–] icedterminal 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

All these conspiracy theories are fascinating to me. I legitimately read them all and think to myself "How do people come up with this!?"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I think you can get pretty close with a madlib like approach.

On date the partyleftofGOP will deploy somethingbad using techIdon'tunderstand. This is because somegroupwehate is trying to somethingbad the country, somethingreallybad your mind\guns\freedom and somethingelsebad your kids.

All this is because Biden\Obama\AOC is being controlled by Antifa\TheGayAgenda\Globalists thanks to information carelessly left on HunterBiden'sLaptop.

PS: Hillary'sEmails

[–] skyspydude1 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm going to fill it out like I did in 3rd grade:

On 4/20 the Green Party will deploy farts using VR. This is because butts is trying to fart on the country, poop on your mind\guns\freedom and pee on your kids.

All this is because Biden\Obama\AOC is being controlled by Antifa\TheGayAgenda\Globalists thanks to information carelessly left on butts.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Man, I remember growing up in the 80s where we had a test of the emergency broadcast system every month, and like clockwork there was a manufactured crisis. The 80s were wild.

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[–] paddirn 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“That’s how they’re activating the sleeper cells, the ones who got programmed with the 5G virus, they’re all gonna get activated at the same time yo come take our guns away and rape our grandmas, and institute Biden’s Fifth Reich!”

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I'm so glad I quit my last job so I don't have to get brain cancer listening to these conspiracies discussed in earnest from my christofascist manager and her bootlicking sidekick

[–] jordanlund 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I love these morons... "I'm an open heart surgery survivor and I've had the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines like 5 times now? 6 times? Need to check my vaccine card... No problems, no Covid either."

[–] CharlesDarwin 8 points 1 year ago

If anything these vibrations will be healing frequencies so I’m told…… I for one am not taking any measures to hide my phone……

It's all true, and I'm pretty sure my dong just got even bigger as a result! Thanks, White Hats!

[–] postmateDumbass 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hey you guys,

I found footage of their mind control research with sound tones.

https://youtu.be/ZUus9Z82Vec?t=40

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[–] Lazylazycat 6 points 1 year ago

I mean, we had a similar test in the UK ages ago so surely they realise this hasn't affected vaccinated people?... What do they think it's going to do, exactly?

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