this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2023
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Science Memes

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[–] buycurious 130 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Reminds me on this chemist joke:

A man brought his chemist friend to the bar for a drink with the other friends. When asked what he wanted, the chemist decided that since she's the designated driver, she'll order water. "I'll have some H20, please!" the chemist said, with the man replying "I'll have some H20 too!"

The man died of ingesting hydrogen peroxide.

[–] HonoraryMancunian 108 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And the joke's alternative anti joke punchline:

The bartender served them both water, because he fully understands everyday human interaction and translated the request as intended.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, for as much as you use the chemical formula for water in your everyday human interactions, anyway

[–] dustyData 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The bartender didn't mind, since he has a sense of humor and understood he worked in an entertainment facility where people derive fun from saying and doing goofy things with friends and acquaintances, and this isn't even be the weirdest thing he has heard a patron say this week.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife 5 points 1 year ago

"Your mom is so fat, when she sits around the house ... she's morbidly obese."

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Little Billy was a chemist

Little Billy is no more

For what he thought was H2O

Was H2SO4

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

I've heard it as:

Little Billy took a drink, of which he'll drink no more.

For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

[–] lunarul 39 points 1 year ago

"I'll have some H20, please!" the chemist said

To which the bartender replied "I'm sorry, but we don't have icosatomic hydrogen"

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago

I love the sequel to that one, too. Same set up. ... The first man orders H20 The second man says "why would you say that? It's incredibly pretentious, and you look like a jerk. Just order water." The first man frowns and sulks because his murder plot has been foiled.

[–] affiliate 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

is it called hydrogen peroxide because there’s one hydrogen per oxide?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's actually because "per" is used to denote the maximum "proportion" of an element. Compare "oxide", which is just one oxygen. "per-" is also used in chemistry in the sense of the Latin prefix "per-", which attaches to adjectives and verbs and such to convey the sense of "very" or "all the way". For example, sometimes we refer to molecules as being "perdeuterated" when all hydrogen atoms have been replaced with the heavy isotope deuterium.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

So, technically, yes

[–] BradleyUffner 4 points 1 year ago

Little Johnny was a chemist's son, but Johnny is no more. What Johnny thought was H20 was H2SO4.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago

Suprisingly mild and not very reactive. And I wondered if this even exists.

[–] peopleproblems 26 points 1 year ago

it is a confirmed human carcinogen.

See, that's the good stuff

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Oh my god I didn't think it was an actual molecule...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thanks. I was wondering if it was a liquid or not. Crystaline solid.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Ok, but definitely don't drink it if it's liquid then.

[–] rockSlayer 59 points 1 year ago

Sweet, a yellow cake dispenser! It's strangely difficult to acquire

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Pfff U(IV)? More like U's a little bitch that can't add that weeny little O-O single bond. The only oxyuranium species worthy of entering my body are stripped of all valence electrons. Good ol peruranic acid, U(O)2(OH)2, that's the real quencher!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't want to drink pure H₂O either...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

No? What would it be like?

[–] Aux 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It will damage your skin and mucous membranes. Pure H2O is quite reactive and will drain minerals from the environment. If your body is such an environment, it will get minor damages.

[–] Beaphe 1 points 1 year ago

Ive got a pretty serious Nature check...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Probably tasting remarkably bland and would likely mess with your electrolyte and mineral levels.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Isn't it just distilled water?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Like in the other comments, you can drink distilled water as long as you only drink a "normal amount".

It's still an interesting thing to know, that you actually starve when drinking large quantities of distilled water (well, in theory since you have other stuff in your body that enriches the water with minerals anyway).

Through osmosis the cells on your mucosae will try to equalise the mineral content between the water and themselves. But since distilled water has no minerals they will take in so much water that they burst.

If you would drink liters and liters of distilled water, the cells responsible for taking in minerals will all be gone and you starve long-term.

Short-term you die from organ failure anyway, with your body desperately trying to keep in the minerals. This is the same as the good old water intoxication. Just that you reach that threshold faster with distilled water.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I have such a hard time believing the absence of trace minerals in distilled water is dangerous as to be deadly.

And I'm not talking that bullshit drank 5gallons thru a funnel than took a bath in it outlier, that is entirely unhelpful.

A normal person drinking 2 liters of distilled water is going to have no serious effect from it. A forkful of spinach has more of those trace minerals than 55gallons of water.

Imma go ahead and put this in the file with alkaline water and Japanese H²O that got its feelings hurt.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

it causes cells to burst.

if you have extra cells for bursting then you'll be fine.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Yes that is why saline is used to as an IV fluid instead of water. But if you’re not injecting it straight into your blood stream, the osmolarity of the liquid does not matter so drinking distilled water is completely fine.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

My biology teacher told me the same...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

it basically is, although most distilled water does contain a small amount of contaminants, so it would likely not count as cemically pure.

as for drinking it: i've found this article, according to which you shouldnt expect health problems, provided you eat a healthy diet. As most minerals we consume come from our food, not the water.

then again it supposedly tastes bland, is more expensive than tap water (provided your tap water is safely drinkable) and why even take the risk?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

then again it supposedly tastes bland, is more expensive than tap water (provided your tap water is safely drinkable) and why even take the risk?

Coffee.

Do you find that your coffee maker gets slow over time as it gets clogged with calcium buildup? The you have to run vinager through it and stink up the house to clean it? Use distilled water, and it won't do that anymore. As long as your entire liquid intake and majority of your calorie intake doesn't consist solely of coffee, it won't cause health problems either. You can even put a pinch of salt into the coffee basket to replace some electrolytes and make the coffee taste more like coffee.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Distilled water is not ideal for coffee. You want some buffer in the water to balance the acidity, and you want some hardness in the form of magnesium or calcium to assist in extraction and provide some flavor. A little sodium can also improve the flavor

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

"Purified water is water that has been mechanically filtered or processed to remove impurities and make it suitable for use. Distilled water was, formerly, the most common form of purified water, but, in recent years, water is more frequently purified by other processes including capacitive deionization, reverse osmosis, carbon filtering, microfiltration, ultrafiltration, ultraviolet oxidation, or electrodeionization. Combinations of a number of these processes have come into use to produce ultrapure water of such high purity that its trace contaminants are measured in parts per billion (ppb) or parts per trillion (ppt). "

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purified_water

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It is and you shouldn't drink it. At least not a lot of it or for a long time, otherwise your electrolytes could get to low. And while I don't remember the specifics(biology class was like 15 years ago), I think that can make the osmosis between your cells and your blood not work anymore or even reverse.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Or just eat food along with water. Under normal conditions drinking distilled water is just fine. But if you’re running a marathon in 100 degree F weather then yes you should also get some salt. This is why sports drinks and pedialyte is better for hydration for strenuous exercise.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

With the osmosis thing, you might be thinking of this: https://feddit.de/comment/2620197

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have drunk a cup of ultra pure water. Taste wasn't very different from tap water. I have no idea if it messed with my electrolyte levels much but seemed to be safe to drink.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

It is. If you were to exclusively drink distilled water you might want to add some salts and minerals to your diet via other means.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

wouldn't it be uranium dihydrogen ~~per~~ tetraoxide?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I believe that would be H2O2?

H2O4 would be Tetraoxidane if I’m not mistaken, but neither of those takes into account the U (Uranium) at the end there.

Of course, I don’t know much about how things would go beyond production, they may reach with each other and ultimately settle into something else.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

you're right, so the original post has not just one but two mistakes

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

okay but then why is it called "dioxideperoxide"? why is "oxide" twice in there? and why those prefixes?

[–] Philharmonic3 2 points 2 months ago

I learned a rhyme once that's relevant:

Danny was a scientist, but now he is no more, for what he thought was H2O, was H2SO4