this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
1418 points (97.1% liked)

Memes

45727 readers
172 users here now

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 188 points 1 year ago

What a horrible day to have genitals.

[–] Dick_Justice 132 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Why did I learn how to read?

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Society forced you. Time to burn it all down.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 92 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Ok I guess we both have it bad

[–] captainlezbian 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’ve had both happen, yeah both suck

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (7 children)
[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago

Life's wild, my friend

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Some of us go from having one set of bits to having a different set of bits.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] GrammatonCleric 16 points 1 year ago

A fart is nowhere near as bad as the inside of a dirty toilet 😅

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 year ago (2 children)

As a pussy haver. What the fuck

[–] motor_spirit 35 points 1 year ago

Today we encounter the "pussy havers" and the "pussy have nots" learning side by side! Spectacular!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] grayman 64 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was helping my daughter (3) pee. Pee came out of 3 places at once at one point, then 2.

I'll keep my ding dong, thanks.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] kevinbacon 56 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] BonesOfTheMoon 22 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

At least we can all relate to water splashes.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Oh man I had diarrhea in a porta-potty a couple weeks ago and got some splash back. I was not a happy camper.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

I call bullshit. No one survives the blue touch.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] xpinchx 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] TheLowestStone 52 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Relax guys. We all know girls don't fart.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Nfntordr 51 points 1 year ago (5 children)

If only my dick was big enough to touch the inside of the bowl

[–] spader312 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You don't want it to be, the cold touch of a toilet bowl specially a dirty public restroom gives me chills

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago

im with everyone here. what the fuck

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (6 children)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Son_of_dad 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm a guy and I've had those farts that escape up between your leg and balls and pop out the top

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Whatever tickles your pickle.

[–] Pyroglyph 24 points 1 year ago

Fuck you, well done.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

What the fuck

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

The requeefining.

[–] dylanTheDeveloper 20 points 1 year ago (6 children)

When I shit my dick touch the water

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You're not supposed to shit in the urinals, my dude.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Then why are they butt-level???

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

My friend told me of the horror of your menstrual cup falling into a public toilet. I'd take licking the bowl over that shit any day of the week.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Alright how many of you in here trying to make your dick fart right now?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Worse when it touches the water though.

[–] TFS 38 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Just wrap it around your thigh, problem solved

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Little known fact : you can halve the length of your penis with a simple figure-eight knot.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd rather re-fart my own fart, than have my dick dip into a public toilet again.

One is slightly, uncomfortable, maybe? The other opens the mind to all the diseases that could potentially infect your dick in a public toilet. Unlikely? Sure. Possible? In some cases, with some diseases, yes - however slim.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] sagrotan 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fat ass man here, can fart in 3 voices at the same time, I conserve one in the under ass, one in the upper ass and let them out the same time. You should've seen the admiring faces from the two cops in the front of the car. I even did it with cuffs. They totally wanted autographs.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] MissJinx 15 points 1 year ago

weirdly accurate

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

(cis)Women also will never know the pain of sitting on their own balls.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] TheLobotomist 14 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Can some woman confirm this is legit? Seems very hard to believe

[–] RaptorMother 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It is... And honestly, I can't tell which one is worse. I will say, the first time it happened, I was terrified, thought something was wrong with me

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] 93Akkord 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

So if you go down on a girl after she does this does that mean you're eating shit particles?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean, you're always probably going to a little bit, no big deal, but they're so close together that it just happens

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Had both.

Don't recommend either.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I bet it is great requeef when it comes out!

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›