"The CDC is recommending citizens do a colon cleanse and to make appointments to consult with their acupuncturists to see if a chakra alignment may be needed."
this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
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If it's Kansas City Missouri it'll be chiropractors.
If that doesn't work than just attach two leeches to each nipple for 2 hours every day until the fever subsides.
For really persistent cases, please use the emergency crystals.
...and for the final cleaning, shove a UV lamp down your throat until it exits your butthole.
I sincerely expect future historians (if there are any) to have a specific name for this particular period in American history - something like "The idiot Age" or "The Faceplant Years."
The Trump Decline.
Pretty sure we had "The Information Age". Seems trivial to call this "The Misinformation Age".
face palm ?
Nah, the face plant years are where you just skip the hand and directly slam your face into the nearest surface because of the off-the-charts level of absurdity you're hearing. More fitting for the current state of things.
The gas leak decades
Pretty soon they'll start calling it the Spanish Tuberculosis
Mexican
The article says nothing about why.
I know it's newsweek but could they, y'know, make an effort?
They'll just say something stupid like "God's Will" lmao. Probably RFK's message as well.
EDIT: Poking around the CDC cites: "socioeconomic and disrupted health care access during the pandemic as key factors" for TB spreading without being caught.
Much in line with other commenters statements about socioeconomic factors, I submit this hyper-local diss: “Crimedotte”
I wonder how long we'll even be able to know any informed details about such things under donvict.
Red State problems call RFK for a solution ASAP.
Remember to stake the heart or cut off the head to prevent those who die of consumption from coming back to feast on the living
Oh shit, someone hide Roger Clark ASAP
It was only a matter of time before most of humanity got wiped out by a virulent disease. I just thought it would take a good year or two.
Well at least TB was a predictable option for a world ending disease
Most deadly infectious disease, world champion going strong.
Only because rich countries don’t provide poor countries with antibiotics needed to fight it.
TB is a bacterial infection. It is easily diagnosed and treated with even substandard attention from a doctor.
The fact that it’s spreading so rapidly in America is highly concerning not because TB is super infectious, but because it’s so easy to treat and prevent.
Antibiotics are becoming less and less effective and drug-resistant TB already exists.
Nah, I'm holding out for H5N9.
What is "blessed" exactly? Is it like luck?
Ain't nobody got time for that!