this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 13 hours ago

It's completely normal father-son bonding. Find a different slant.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

On a related note, I was just searching fdroid for a signal app. I didn't find one, but I did find an app that tracks your Morning Wood

[–] [email protected] 19 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Didn't think you were serious.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

encouraging collaboration and innovation

Yes, let's "collaborate" in regard to our morning wood.

"Hay bro, would you mind 'innovating' with my erection this morning? No homo"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

Yep, thats the one

Edit: lol you're downloading it?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

lol you're downloading it

As they should

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 hours ago

Why? Its just going to show that I wake up with an erection 100% of the time. What's there to chart?

[–] Tangent5280 2 points 16 hours ago
[–] cabron_offsets 8 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (3 children)

Jesus fuck. Why would anyone want to live forever, anyway?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

i think most people don't really want to die. and they like living for all sorts of reasons. i hope you can think of at least a few reasons you'd like to go on living as well.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I want optional mortality, yes. https://www.fullmoon.nu/Resurrection/PrimarySpecies.html

But, I gotta say, I don't want to spend literally all my time just surviving, which seems to be this anti-aging zealot's day.

[–] probably2high 6 points 13 hours ago

Living day-to-day life like a Diablo minmaxer.

[–] Tangent5280 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Would you like to live one extra year than your otherwise normal lifespan? Yeah?

Yeah that's pretty much why.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago

No, there's too many dudes like him on the planet.

Clear them out and we'll readdress the question.

[–] FrowingFostek 8 points 19 hours ago

Immortality is a daily pain in the dick.

[–] kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E 9 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

If your oncle on FB does its wierd , but once your wierd oncle becomes milliardaire, he ll be called Anti Aging Zealot all over Internet

[–] rektdeckard 6 points 12 hours ago

Lol idk why but I find it so funny that you are speaking English with French nouns.

[–] teft 142 points 1 day ago (13 children)

The dude gets weekly dick injections which he classifies as 9.5 out of 10 on a pain scale.

Weekly.

Dude is a fucking moron.

[–] _stranger_ 1 points 9 hours ago

I'm going to laugh when he dies of self inflicted dick infection.

[–] probably2high 4 points 13 hours ago

It's like those showerthought ultimatums : You can choose to gain eternal life, but every day your dick is the subject of the worst pain you've ever felt.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

It sounds like the dude just has a CBT fetish and doesn't want to admit it.

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