this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Emerald 28 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

So nobody is going to talk about how he said "without the intent to fertilize an embryo" and not "fertilize an egg"? You can't fertilize an embryo lmao

[–] MothmanDelorian 16 points 2 days ago

This is a stunt bill designed to draw attention to how anti-woman most anti-abortion laws are

[–] nekbardrun 24 points 2 days ago

In this thread:

A lot of men who didn't read the article and didn't got the satirical part of the act.

And given the last political polemic, I'm pretty sure these "men" are misrepresenting the article on purpose.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material

Genetic Material is DNA. Dry skin falling off is technically discharging genetic material. As is bleeding...

Technically a woman would be grossly violating this with every period... or by giving birth.

[–] MothmanDelorian 8 points 2 days ago

In a statement to WLBT News, Blackmon wrote, “All across the country, especially here in Mississippi, the vast majority of bills relating to contraception and/or abortion focus on the woman’s role when men are fifty percent of the equation.

This bill highlights that fact and brings the man’s role into the conversation. People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.”

Did you miss this?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I want to believe this is a satirical bill meant to bring attention to how absurd a lot of other bills are, but it is Mississippi. And with how things are going these past several years, it's becoming harder and harder to tell at face value if something is an Onion or not.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Here's to the land you've torn out the heart of/

Mississippi find yourself another country to be part of/

[–] skeezix 9 points 2 days ago

Did you know that Mississippi is the anus of the US?

[–] [email protected] 142 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (5 children)

To highlight how absolutely stupid this bill is, it sounds like it would outlaw menstruation and nocturnal emissions.

Land of the free.

Edit: it sounds like this is intentionally facetious to point out the absurdity of other pro-life bills.

[–] MissJinx 71 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

I would love to outlaw menstruation too but my fucking body won't listen to me

[–] Sterile_Technique 14 points 3 days ago

Careful, that post could be used against you in the court of law!

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[–] themeatbridge 47 points 3 days ago

Yes, correct, it is as absurd as pro-life ideas.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

It's really telling how much the Overton window in the US has shifted that you thought this was sincere to start with.

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[–] [email protected] 124 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If the Democrats aren't going to be useful, I'm glad they've at least decided to be a little funny.

[–] Hominy_Hank 10 points 3 days ago

It's a race to the bottom now. And the Republicans have a huge head start. Dems are nosediving to catch up.

[–] Sam_Bass 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Contraception begins in the hand

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Sam_Bass 8 points 2 days ago

Very touching. Touching also begins in the hand

[–] needthosepylons 24 points 2 days ago (17 children)

That's satirical, right?

Right?

[–] JB33 17 points 2 days ago

Yes, it's proposed to show how dumb the "life begins at conception idea" is. Blackmon doesn't actually want this to pass

[–] MothmanDelorian 6 points 2 days ago

yes, it is intended to highlight how anti-woman mst anti-abortion laws are

[–] MothmanDelorian 7 points 2 days ago

Read the article.

"In a statement to WLBT News, Blackmon wrote, “All across the country, especially here in Mississippi, the vast majority of bills relating to contraception and/or abortion focus on the woman’s role when men are fifty percent of the equation.

This bill highlights that fact and brings the man’s role into the conversation. People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.”

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.

Then you have the wrong job as a representative.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

I'd say he is perfect for the role and he is sure to raise through the ranks of american politics at a rapid pace.

[–] spankmonkey 58 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

I didn't see the party of the politician in the article, so no idea if it is written in jest or just regular old Republican whackiness.

The most entertaining part is that it is written as applying to men, but as written it is gender neutral and would penalize menstruation.

Edit: It is a Dem having a lark.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sure, some may say it’s absurd, but masturbation inspector is a good paying, high quality American job that cannot be exported overseas, and not a job I’d trust to AI.

That state senator is a visionary!

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

I believe this makes it a woman's duty to take all erections up the right hole.

[–] A_A 16 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (11 children)

🤣
SECTION 1.
(1) This section shall be known and may be cited as the "Contraception Begins at Erection Act."

(2) It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.

(3) Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:
( a ) One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;
( b ) Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and
( c ) Ten Thousand Dollars ($10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.

(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:
( a ) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and
( b ) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

SECTION 2.
This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

Shit, I vomited without intent to fertilize an embryo

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[–] RagingRobot 9 points 2 days ago (6 children)

10k just be be able to jerk it 3 times? This guy is a loser. I'll jerk it all day for free. He can't charge me a fee

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material: ... ( b ) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.

So basically it's illegal to do so without the intent to fertilize an embryo... unless doing it as part of a contraceptive method? Isn't abstinence - e.g. not having sex - a legitimate method?.... wouldn't masturbation be a way to manage abstinence?

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[–] thespcicifcocean 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

so it's looking to ban masturbation in mississippi.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago

Nah, edging is still legal

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago

This is taking No Nut November to a whole new level

[–] victorz 4 points 2 days ago (4 children)

So what is this? Some kind of anti masturbation law?

[–] MothmanDelorian 12 points 2 days ago (6 children)

In a statement to WLBT News, Blackmon wrote, “All across the country, especially here in Mississippi, the vast majority of bills relating to contraception and/or abortion focus on the woman’s role when men are fifty percent of the equation.

This bill highlights that fact and brings the man’s role into the conversation. People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.”

The article is very short.

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[–] WordBox 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

It took me less time to find out what this was about than to make this response.

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[–] Redditsux 9 points 3 days ago (3 children)

LMAO. are they seroius?!!!!!!!

[–] swampwitch 5 points 2 days ago

Based on the article, seems like he just wants to point out it's bullshit to put the entire onus on women for pregnancy.

[–] jordanlund 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Doesn't look serious, but it is funny!

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