My boss and I had lived for a few years in Italy and Germany, respectively, but were both in the US again at this time and had a jokey rivalry about which of us had integrated better. She was looking for jazz music for our restaurant and said “god, I love scat. Don’t you?” and my dumb ass responded before I could think about it for a second “I’m not that German.” (For anyone confused, I don’t know why, but some Americans think Germans are into scat. I have not experienced this in any way, and have no idea if it’s at all based in reality, I was just making a joke I shouldn’t have)

She didn’t know what scatophilia was, did NOT enjoy hearing about it, but wouldn’t let it go until I explained my joke.

My grandmother refers to sex as "putting your shoes under his bed." As in if you're staying the night that where you would put your shoes after taking them off.

She's been married 3 times and has kids with each of them. She knows exactly what's going on. Don't let them fool you.

I accidentally told my 50+ friend what shibari is. No, she didn't know, she cancelled going to a planned event that would have included a lecture.

She also claims she didn't know before what "bondage" was, and isn't in the habit of lying to me. So yay for being a good influence, I guess?

She knew.

"Mom, is it because it's not hetero sex talk, mom? Mom, this is me, your son, mom."

Gam gam was living it up during the summer of love in the 60s. She's probably forgotten more than these kids even know.

My grandmother once called me whilst she was at an estate sale and told me she found "kinky asian books". I dont know if she found hentai or Korean smut but what I do know is that she started chanting "kinky asians" until I hung up the phone.

... when a hand loves a woman very much ...