this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

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Because I'm sick of seeing the same trite "how is this satire" comments every time I post in this community, I've decided to start including the definition for everyone:

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[–] [email protected] 164 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Oh hey! It’s my kid’s school!

She’s safe, but holy shit I’ve never been so scared. I feel hollowed out

[–] Volkditty 52 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Glad your kid is safe. Cannot imagine getting that phone call.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It was rough, luckily when we got to staging we quickly found out that kids in her area were fine per rumor, but it was unofficial so I was still very stressed, but that hope helped. She seems unaware/unaffected currently. Thinks it was a field trip, so she seems to have been pretty well shielded from it

[–] Serinus 15 points 1 month ago

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I know it doesn't mean much, but it's all we've got.

Thanks for checking in and putting a human face on these events. They're too often blending together, and they really, really need to not.

[–] Canopyflyer 28 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Fellow Madisonian here.

I'm very happy that your daughter is home and safe with you tonight.

My kids go to Middleton HS. Even so, today was a very scary day.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thanks. Pretty weird knowing that my kid is probably more fine than I am, and it was her school. But there was a part of my day where I really thought I could be burying her

I wonder how this will be as I actually start to process it, because I don’t really think I have yet

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

This one rippled throughout the state. I'm a ways away from Madison and the small town I live in still decided to post an officer at every school in town following the news

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm sorry you had to deal with that, but I'm glad your family is ok.

Every time I hear about these events (so WAY too fucking often) I think about my kids, and I hope that we never have to deal with that situation. I'm in the state, and I have plenty of friends in Madison. This is practically hitting home for me.

It also reminds me of the situation we did deal with, which was an abuser. When my kid was in kindergarten. We're pretty sure nothing happened to our kid, but FUCK. I have never wanted to beat someone to death with my own two hands before, but given the chance I definitely could have seen myself losing control.

What a fucked up country. I was going to say world, but no, it's just here.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pretty fucked up yeah

I wish something would be done about this, but that’s not going to happen with the incoming congress and administration

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

It's right there

[–] WhiteOakBayou 18 points 1 month ago

I can't imagine getting that call and having to wait to find out. Glad she's good.

[–] Supervivens 14 points 1 month ago

Yeah it’s kinda crazy to me. Happened litterally just on the other side of the lake from me only a few miles away.

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[–] [email protected] 116 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Iheartcheese 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Delphia 34 points 1 month ago (7 children)

No see, if you put that in there you are obviously inciting violence.

"CEOs before Schools" I can stand there with a straight face and talk shit about how Libertarian policies are the best thing for the nation and that liberals waste money on dance and music classes for kids who should be learning a trade...

[–] Iheartcheese 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I want to obviously incite violence tho

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[–] [email protected] 97 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Thank GOD it was only a School getting Shot up and not a CEO! I ALMOST thought I had to Care!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh was there another school shooting?

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

Authorities are busy trying to determine whether Luigi Mangione was involved in the school shooting.

[–] karobeccary 94 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 77 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Well shit, what school got shot up today? Haven't looked at the news yet, but odds are depressingly good that there was a school shooting somewhere around the US most days.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It was a k-12 private school in Madison, Wisconsin. It's being reported that one teacher and a student are dead (the shooter is believed to be the dead student), and two more students are in critical condition.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

There’s also 3k and 4k. There used to be younger aged daycare too, but that part closed down

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I don't know what's worse: the fact that these don't make national news anymore because they are so common or that I found out about the shooting through The Onion of all places.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

this is what living in a terror state looks like. eventually the terror is so constant and ever present that you become numb to it. the best thing you can do is talk to friends and loved ones about how all this makes you really feel and how your proximity to this terror in your personal life has impacted you. we the people must take responsibility for weaving the narrative of this terror because the powers that be benefit from it and nurture it.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Yeah, I find out from seeing this infamous Onion headline. Again. Unfortunately we all know what it means by now.

[–] Lost_My_Mind 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

News stations local websites usually have tabs at the top of their screens now for news that is a daily thing. Stuff like sports, weather, traffic, school closings for cities that live in snow regions. That sort of thing.

"Public shootings" is now a tab on some local news stations....like this is the new normal.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

...like this is the new normal.

It's depressing but seemingly true.

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 month ago

Board rooms, not class rooms.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Headline should be "Student mistakes school classroom for insurance company boardroom."

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's the new hot thing to do if you want attention. School shootings barely get reported on any more, but if you kill a CEO you get a whole month's worth of attention. Even UFO's can't get that murder out of the headlines.

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[–] macarthur_park 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] satanmat 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Omg my thoughts and prayers didn’t stop it?

Noooooooo…

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's some sort of irony that I don't think things will change for the better without violence. The ultra wealthy that drive a lot of culture war bullshit, that enshittify everything for more profits and "growth", who pollute the air we breathe and water we drink, aren't going to just give up power.

I'm just so tired of everything being so needlessly bad. Stop shooting kids and teachers. They aren't the problem.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

We never didn't need violence and always will need it... Police is institutionalized violence, the judiciary system is how we figure out how much violence to punish people with.

Society needs them as long as there are things society wants to stop people from doing. It's when this system doesn't work anymore that we need violence from other sources, but still, we need violence.

[–] AnUnusualRelic 17 points 1 month ago

Glad to see that the US is back to normal despite the weird politics and everything.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Here I was hoping school shootings had gone out of fashion and CEO shootings were the next hip thing.

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[–] AFKBRBChocolate 11 points 1 month ago

Ugh, this seems to be the way I find out about most school shootings these days.

[–] TheTechnician27 9 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Seeing that there has been a school shooting in the US is a bit like seeing that a new Call of Duty game has been announced.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Pretty sure there are way more school shootings. There's only what, 15 cods?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

2 each month? Sometimes its 7 or 8 in a DAY.

Ah. SCHOOL SHOOTING.

Sorry. Carry on.

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