this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2024
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FoodPorn

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Did you toast the bread by yelling at it?

[–] CrayonRosary 11 points 3 days ago

They set the bread next to a candle for 30 seconds.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago
[–] adam_y 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That... Is the feeblest looking breakfast I've seen in a long time.

Underdone toast. Technically just bread.

Cherry tomatoes, a whole one and a half of them.

Something brown that may or may not be sausage but has clearly been pre-cut as if you are feeding it to a toddler.

And why does it all look as if it is sliding off the plate like it has been hung on a wall?

I don't mean to kink shame, but if this is your food porn you need to seek counselling.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I feel that is just bread? Perhaps they don’t like toast like me, it makes the roof of my mouth sore.

There are 4 halves of cherry tomatoes in that image, so two whole ones.

Maybe they cut the sausage up as they’re one of those freaks that likes to overcook them and they wanted burnt edges; I don’t condone, but I can reason why.

I can’t justify this breakfast though, but the eggs look nice.

Edit: I’m an idiot OP said it’s toast. I’m shook.

[–] adam_y 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Thanks for the corrections.

I can't believe I fucked up so badly that I missed half a cherry tomato.

But yeah, if they say that is toast, who am I to disagree?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

I think the cook needs the CEO treatment if they’re saying that’s toast.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago

I though foodporn should look good?

[–] njm1314 24 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] Pilferjinx 6 points 3 days ago

That toast be looking like someone that burns instead of tans.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

That toast is still on the hoof

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago (3 children)

That is not toast that is warm bread

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] mojofrododojo 1 points 3 days ago

DING! kachunk

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

That is not bread, that is a sponge

[–] mojofrododojo 1 points 3 days ago

it was whiter before he started. i guess, dough?

[–] BugKilla 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Nothing more hearty than a plate of that in the morning.

One thing of note and not trying to food shame but, toast? I think the settings on your toaster need adjusting.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

I think they need to turn the toaster on.

[–] Jimmycakes 7 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Black pepper?!? Bro used every spice available in the entire uk

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This joke brought to you by the country that thinks the only spices are sugar, salt, butter and high fructose corn syrup

[–] adam_y 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The only US spice is "ranch".

Just seen a post where someone was dipping sushi in it.

[–] mojofrododojo 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Just seen a post where someone was dipping sushi in it.

pfuck

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] mojofrododojo 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

it's the one that comes when you vomit into your mouth while saying fuck

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

And that's what ranch tastes like to normal people

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

We used our spice money for healthcare.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

What do you mean you don't like spam?!?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Just never gets old. Classic. Still I'd miss the bacon and the toast is a bit anaemic. I'd wolf it down if it was put in front of me though. Tomatoes look decently cooked too which is rare to see, I also like your double egg going on I like to do that sometimes. Is that blood sausage of some kind? I don't get to include that very often as it's not commonly sold where I am so I usually just have the typical Cumberland sausages. I personally like to have this dish with potato farls as well as toast because I just love my carbs so much. I recommend. Anyway hope you enjoyed it, got a craving for an English breakfast now.

[–] obinice 1 points 3 days ago

Not bad! Is that actual sliced sausage or is it black pudding?

Gotta have some pudding with a full English, and preferably a couple of pork sausages too, and if you're really hungry throw some hash browns on there :-D

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

British people will really look at a plate of greasy brownness and think it looks good. 😭