This woman is going to be very successful in her future career
this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2024
421 points (98.2% liked)
Not The Onion
12480 readers
2117 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
her lawyer argued she should not have to serve prison time because her "creative side is coming back out now," adding that she volunteers at a local art center and is working on an album.
I don't think being an artist's with an album in works is a great defence.
If it works, then I'll be constantly working on my next album.
You have a trial 6 months later and if you're not dropping bars in court you go to prison
There's even more to the story, every step even more absurd than the other:
US woman caught with golden gun in luggage at Sydney airport jailed for a year
US woman backflips in court, pleads guilty to smuggling 24-carat gold gun into Sydney
A review of Goodson’s phone revealed she had searched online “can I have a gun in my suitcase?” and set a calendar entry with a note reminding her to “put gun in suitcase”.
“What about the gun in your bag?” she was asked by a customs officer. Goodson replied: “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”
"I am scared of shooting it... I would probably just pistol whip until I got training again," she said.
The court also heard that she previously owned two other guns while living in the States, but she had accidentally given them away. "Those guns I ended up giving away, because I accidentally left them in a donation box."
Clown school principal: “I’m sorry ma’am, we have nothing to teach you.”
US woman backflips in court
I'm gonna need a courtroom sketch of that
You’re welcome.
The stupid of this chick really manages to one-up itself with each sentence, huh?
Holy fuck 💀
Oh wow that's as Florida as it gets
A Florida woman that wanted to attend clown school, that explains everything.
That's like a fish that wants to attend swimming lessons
she was just trying to learn how to fit in in Florida better
as someone who went to clown school, I can't say that everyone there was very smart.
they had to have an intervention with the year below me because they all stopped eating solid food to do a fad diet with some kind of herbal tea.
I want to lie down on a rug in front of the fireplace and listen to your clown school tales, while you sit in a rocking chair and knit
Wouldn’t tying balloon animals be more appropriate than knitting?
Too squeaky
Just putting it out there - this is one of those situations where a story about the inner drama of clown school (with pictures if possible) could elevate you to an internet legend. I personally had no idea it was a multi-year process.
Joel McHale might play you in the movie adaptation. This lady could make a cameo once she’s out of prison and deported back to the US. Maybe don’t startle her on set, though.
I bet you could do a really interesting AMA based on that experience
Maybe!
in the mean time the school I attended in name checked in this article
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
Her lawyer said she packed the pistol because she was high and paranoid from synthetic marijuana, which she uses to cope with trauma
She shouldn't be allowed to own a gun in the first place.
Because she does drugs? By that standard no one should own a gun.
because she's self medicating for trauma and it's making her paranoid. this is clearly not a very stable person. in fact, believing the first thing you read on Google about how to use guns is another pretty good sign that that aren't going to use it safely.
there's better and worse ways to use drugs. self medicating to escape something is generally the worst way to use them. like, i get it. I've been there. it's how i went from casual user with company to unstable addict. I eventually recognized that and have gotten clean. the reason we need a doctor to help us with dosages to relieve symptoms without losing ourselves is because drugs make us feel good in general. it's basically impossible to look at yourself and know when it's too much or inappropriate usage.
all that said, i get it. when you can't afford a doctor to do that for you sometimes you just need to kill whatever feeling is inside of you. sometimes you just need to run away to survive. just don't buy a firearm while you do that...
People who currently use drugs illegally are also forbidden from having guns in the USA. Hunter Biden was convicted of the related offense of lying about it on the background check form.
synthetic marijuana exists because it's legal in most places that natural stuff isn't.
Is there any indication that she's using it illegally?
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(6 replies)
At last-- The world so badly needs the skills and professionalism that a "clown school" will bring. We can populate the next generation of politicans, CEOs, and journalists from this clown school.
We can populate the next generation of politicans, CEOs, and journalists from this clown school.
I thought we already did? Where else would they be finding Republican politicians and opinion columnists?
Look at how old the fossils in Congress are. That is how much experience it required to become such high tier clowns. You need a state-of-the-art clown school to replace them without a drop in quality. 🤡
You know the headline is packed when there's a literal golden gun and not a single N64 Goldeneye reference.
"He doesn't need TWO of them!" explains Florida woman, the unlicensed clown who stole gun via illegal clown magic trick while at John Woo's birthday bash.
EDIT: Imagine Gex saying it, especially if you don't remember the John Woo game.
load more comments
(3 replies)
Wanna know how I got these scars? Student debt a s 5 years of the gig economy.
I... can fix her...
Google "Here are 5 million results that say you can't bring a gun in your suitcase, and ONE that says you can"
Clown selecting the ONE result "I KNEW IT"
Google "Just because I have it doesn't make it true!!"
Google does tend to find what it thinks you want. She probably entered something analogous to "ok to have gun in Australia"
No brain cells were harmed, or even used in any way during that particular interaction .. I suppose they also eat rocks or inject bleach?
This wins the most ridiculous thing I’ve read on the internet this year. And it’s December.
Why is synthetic Marijuana a thing?
people testing the boundaries of THC prohibition?
Not makeup but permanent ink....
view more: next ›