this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
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The Onion

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TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Former Florida representative Matt Gaetz informed his girlfriend Valentina he will be able to go to her 15th birthday party after ending his bid for Attorney General, sources who attend Rickards High School confirm.

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[–] Today 74 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Sometimes the articles are just silly, but this one is worth the read!

[–] HootinNHollerin 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The cousins from Miami got me

[–] bitchkat 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The "Gaetz made a post asking reddit how to make venmo payments private" was my favorite.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Because of course he would

[–] theangryseal 4 points 2 weeks ago

I felt compelled to read it too. Haha.

Was not disappointed!

[–] [email protected] 56 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Gaetz found out it wasn't "JV Dance" it was "JD Vance"

[–] theangryseal 8 points 2 weeks ago

Oh yooooou! I love this comment!

[–] Jimbabwe 3 points 2 weeks ago

Somebody was on reddit today

[–] NegativeLookBehind 36 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So glad his schedule freed up

[–] radix 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He has time to finally go back and get another diploma. He can graduate high school again, right?

[–] NegativeLookBehind 12 points 2 weeks ago

He’d probably prefer middle school

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I cannot wait for them to take over Infowars

[–] davidgro 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This one is a different satire newspaper, but yeah.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

This one can take over breitbart or oan.

[–] Sam_Bass 4 points 2 weeks ago

Punks probably drooling in anticipation

[–] LovableSidekick 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

TBF middle school volleyball finals take precedence