this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2024
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top 39 comments
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[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 46 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You can dance all night on some MDMA.

[–] FlyingSquid 15 points 1 month ago

Sure, but bread is legal.

And you can probably dance a lot longer if you have ergot poisoning, so make sure you buy that country bread the Amish are selling on the roadside.

[–] Agent641 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 2 points 1 month ago

Depends how thick they are.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

0.000006 if you're microdosing

[–] riodoro1 40 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Regular bread? Fine.

American „bread”? Naaah.

It’s wild that in Europe the kind of bread Americans eat is sold as toast bread and considered unhealthy. Everything needs to be processed and neat I guess.

[–] hark 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How about Canadian bread? The address on the advert is in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Neat! That address / intersection is a five minute walk from me! Thanks for pointing it out, I wouldn't have noticed it otherwise (with the ad being so absurd)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I was going to comment the same.

Here that wouldn't be considered bread too.

I like good bread, that's crap.

[–] zakobjoa 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"OPEN UP, ITS THE DIET AUTHORITY!"

[–] FlyingSquid 7 points 1 month ago

"We've come to inspect your bread box, sir. You know you are federally required to keep at least one loaf in there at all times to fight communism."

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

I love the goofy way in which they tried to make it look like extremely complex science got into it by giving a weird estimate such as "31 minutes and an half".

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (3 children)

for anyone wondering: one slice of TOAST has 134kcal (at least the one I buy), so 6 slices got 804kcal, which isn't going to satisfy your hunger, it's malnutrition even, however, you will loose weight very fast on that diet (you'll also have vitamin and protein deficits in like 12 weeks, so be carefull)

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I assumed that this recommends to eat 6 slices of bread daily among with other things.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Nope. No butter, no jam, just bread. Even toasting is discouraged, lest you toast away too many calories.

[–] Squirrelsdrivemenuts 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

They don't advice to eat only bread, just to reduce other foods while eating 6 slices if bread. If bread is whole grain and no added sugars, it's actually a pretty good source for protein, which is what you want to eat a lot of while dieting to maintain muscle mass.

[–] Delphia 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I hate to be all "ackchually" but wheat protein kind of sucks for muscle building. Its only about 50% as digestable and effective as the best sources, its still a better source than processed AF white bread if you cant give up the sandwiches. A great many "protein enhanced" things like oats just dump in a bunch of wheat gluten.

It still mostly counts towards your daily goals for average people but anyone looking for "gains" should be aiming to get 50% from "high quality" sources like milk protein, eggs, meat and soy.

https://www.mysportscience.com/post/measuring-protein-quality

[–] Squirrelsdrivemenuts 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I didn't know that, thanks! Guess my whole-grain bread with cottage cheese snack still works 💪

[–] Delphia 4 points 1 month ago

I didnt know this until recently either. Its interesting once you start to read the ingredients breakdown on things that have "Protein!" on the label only to realise that (like on the oats I dont buy anymore) it had 4 grams per serving of protein more, but it was just added wheat gluten which has a PDCAAS of .25 so like an extra gram of protein thats actually useful for muscle building...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

yeah, but I think they're talking about toast, which isn't very healthy

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Most of what makes toast unhealthy is the assumption that you put some sort of topping on it.

[–] FlyingSquid 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The late, great Cecil Adams once calculated that you can live for about six months on bread alone, not even water, if you eat six loaves a day.

https://www.straightdope.com/21341369/can-man-live-by-bread-alone

However, toasting it would remove the water significantly, so you would have to eat a lot more.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

NGL I love me some good bread. 🪿

[–] ivanafterall 5 points 1 month ago

Bread is addictive, I swear they lace it with quack. duckass

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The same couple pictured in the ad died of diabetes and heart failure in the 80s.

[–] dexa_scantron 13 points 1 month ago

In their 90s? Gimme some bread and dancing then!

[–] FlyingSquid 3 points 1 month ago

I would have thought lung cancer.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Six slices of bread a day seems ludicrous, but two bagels in a day is perfectly cromulent. I'm conflicted

[–] FlyingSquid 4 points 1 month ago

If they're good enough bagels, two in a meal.

[–] hazardous_area 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Read the title as crab party and was disappointed when crabs didn’t join the rave.

[–] FlyingSquid 1 points 1 month ago

You can't make a Krabby Patty without bread.

[–] shalafi 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This has been known since prehistory. FFS, we started agriculture to grow the nutritious grains we had found for food and beer, 12,000 years ago.

And now today! Neolithic tips and tricks!

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Except they're wrong! Bread especially the white bread they seem to be touting in this ad, is not only empty calories devoid of nutrients, it's inflammatory and contributes to brain fog, joint pain, muscle pain, depression, and yes weight gain.

They've got it ALL wrong.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

But for a short while, it made the shareholders incredible gains...

[–] FlyingSquid 2 points 1 month ago

To be fair, you need brain fog to listen to the ultra-white brand of popular music from the 1930s that those two are dancing to.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I like how they had to clarify that you van only get a half hour with the waltz... if you are going to be doing the trot, you only get like 28 minutes of dancing off that bread.

[–] rain_worl 0 points 1 month ago

bread helps you reduce safety!