this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] ArgentRaven 282 points 2 months ago (2 children)

They didn't think you were homeless. They correctly saw you struggle to buy a 10 dollar pizza with change from your pockets.

Most people will use a 20 or a card.

Yeah, you didn't "need" the help, but that helped you nonetheless.

Also I know this isn't OP so my breath is wasted, but people need to realize you don't need to be homeless to be in a rough spot. You can be working poor.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] jaybone 23 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

What we all are. (At least statistically speaking)

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[–] Dagnet 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Recettear is such a good game

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The worst thing about Recettear is that it's a unicorn. I want more games like it.

[–] Dagnet 4 points 2 months ago

I was hoping potionomics was gonna be it, but nah. Its a great game but, not in the way recettear is

[–] Smokeydope 3 points 2 months ago

Hey hey people.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or they really didn't want to count $5 in change.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Probably a bit of both. Empathy and laziness are amazing when they can both happen at once.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 105 points 2 months ago (9 children)

I find it interesting that we answer to the green texts like if we were on 4chan. When there are very few chances tha OP reads the actual messages

[–] Maalus 54 points 2 months ago

Yeah, people know this obviously. They just say it so other people can then comment on their comment and keep the convo going. Otherwise what's the point of the comments

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

When I post on Lemmy/Reddit/etc, it's usually not to the OP, but for everyone else reading the same post later.

So if I'm saying something like, "if you're struggling to pay for a $10 pizza, you could use the charity," it's not really for the OP, but for anyone in a similar situation who happens across the post, whether now or a year from now. Having a pocketful of change isn't a "normal" thing for someone who is financially stable, and if that's you (i.e. the point where a quarter matters), then you should accept the charity.

Even a greentext has a sliver of truth to it, and I'm interested in discussing that truth that may apply to others.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What else is the point of posting something if not to get comments from the place you post it?

It's like telling a joke to your friends. "Why would you do that? You already know the punchline?"

The question posted by Anon is the topic of this comment thread, and while it's perfectly reasonable to comment on it being posted on 4chan, it's also reasonable to comment on whatever it's about to have a conversation about it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I was not being cynical or pedantic. I really find interesting the fact that especially with green texts, we are addressing our comments directly to the OP, myself included. I don’t recall seeing this behaviour elsewhere.

Sorry if I was being rude or something by noting it

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

It's like when you shout at the TV. You obviously know the person on the other side isn't going to hear you, but you do it anyway.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I think it happens everywhere. Remember the gold/white dress? I don't even know where the original post was from, but the entire internet were having that conversation.

[–] spookex 14 points 2 months ago

There was someone who mentioned that they like anon's profile picture on another post.

It was the attached pic

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Boomerization of millennials. It's tough to watch.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

How do people not understand the idea of having a hypothetical discussion of what the funny/ correct way to deal with an inherently unique or silly circumstance?

Like genuinely are people this dumb that that don't understand something this basic?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

god, you're like one of those people who tell me not to clap at movies

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

This got a genuine lol out of me. I'm imagining the patient explanation, "See, the actors can't hear you..."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh God you probably also going to clap the airline pilot.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

👏👏👏👏👏

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Sometimes Anon says or does something so ridiculous that we just have to respond to it out of sheer frustration or disbelief.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

The real OP was inside us all along.

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 2 months ago (1 children)

OP found a friend but decided to have a panic attack over it. Same bro. Happens to me on the regular. Maybe stuff a $20 in the tip jar next time. Or bring them a bottle of random Prosecco and then awkwardly leave.

[–] Iheartcheese 39 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Entropywins 7 points 2 months ago

I know it's not the most reasonable response...but it is my response

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Man I paid for a lady’s purchase at a little corner store in SF and she started crying… owner and I trying to console her while another customer is there… oof just reminded of that awkward memory

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Next time you go back and pay them $20 for the pizza and pay back the owner the $20 he personally lent ya, thank him profusely and mention briefly that it was for the GF and he's now her hero.

Everyone gets a warm fuzzy, owner has $20 to use on next needy dude, we all get pizza.

Now I want pizza.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The owner was probably out less than $5 on the pizza if you're not counting opportunity costs.

Also, it was a $10 pizza, so I'm not sure where you're getting $20 from.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Yeah, just pay $20 next time and tell them to keep the change (tip jar or whatever).

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] UnPassive 24 points 2 months ago

Happened to me in college at the dollar store. Had like 10 things and only quarters. Went back the next day to get 10 more things with those quarters I saved

[–] Zer0_F0x 20 points 2 months ago (3 children)

At this point just keep going back every week, eventually they'll get used to you and you'll be the "Tuesday homeless free pizza" guy. Free pie is free pie, 4 of em a month is like a 5% income increase on minimum wage where I'm from

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[–] finitebanjo 19 points 2 months ago

He probably did not think anon was homeless, a lot of food and retail workers and owners just want to help you get what you need and go.

Go back and tip them, but maybe shower first next time.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

Fake: anon goes outside

Gay: anon has a GuyFriend

[–] InternetCitizen2 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Similar thing happened to me waiting for a Grayhound. The pick up spot was at a gas station that had a field next to it. I decided to lie down. Some guy walked up to me and handed me $10.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Last time I went in a vegetables shop I only took a peach. I think the owner thought something similar of me, because he told me I didn't need to pay.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (4 children)

A PEACH IS NOT S VEGETABLE!

[–] Buddahriffic 10 points 2 months ago

Yeah, owner was probably thinking "wtf is that doing here, I could lose my license!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Vegetables are a portmanteau of vegetation and table, as they are vegetarian for the table.

All fruits are vegetation for the table, or vegetables. It's just that not all vegetables are fruits.

[–] ComicalMayhem 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

... the fuck else would it be?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (4 children)

A fruit? Never heard of anyone referring to it as a veggie. Cultural difference?

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[–] Ibaudia 6 points 2 months ago

Something similar happened to me. When I was walking home from high school I found a quarter on the ground. I was craving potato salad so I went to a deli and asked them for a quarter's worth of it (they sold by weight). The guy at the counter looked really pensive and then was like "you know what, take it for free". He definitely thought I was a homeless teenager. I lived a block away and had for over a decade, and I went there all the time. Super awkward.

[–] answersplease77 6 points 2 months ago

I would pay them back generously the next time I can if this happened to me. Businesses where I'm from refuse to help even if you were $0.25 short from the total

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 4 points 2 months ago

Nobody carries quarters in 2024.

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