this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 39 comments
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[–] MeatPilot 60 points 2 months ago (3 children)

They forgot your mom's stomach to show the 400 calories of cum.

/s

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago

As if she ever stops at 400

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

^ this person knows their cum

[–] Agent641 2 points 2 months ago

Average Tuesday

[–] idunnololz 4 points 2 months ago

4chan version is that but with rainbow dash

[–] AeonFelis 30 points 2 months ago

Well, you don't eat swords for their calories. You eat them for the iron.

[–] TAYRN 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

They always talk about existential horror, but never inistential horror. Curious

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

That looks like intestinal horror to me

[–] TAYRN 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

My ex would probably have a few things to say about that, amiright! (kill me).

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 25 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

Someone should create a breed of chicken that's primarily fibrous matter and water.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Imagine a universe where plants were responsible for modern climate change, Earth Day celebrated deforestation, and Impossible Foods was developing this monster fiber-chicken.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

I guess photosynthetic life has been responsible for catastrophic climate change before

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Whole grain chicken

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

You coud try eating the pellicle from a batch of kombucha.

[–] hate2bme 1 points 2 months ago

Pretty much all they are. That and 97% hormone.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Guys I don't think I can eat 400 owls in one sitting.

[–] JATtho 4 points 2 months ago

You don't know untill you try. For me, maybe consuming 400 existential dread doses a day doesn't register.

(/s maybe, this is a tongue in cheek post... )

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

400 calories of owls is less than one owl, owls aren't tic tacs

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 3 points 2 months ago

except for the tictac owl

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I was joking.

[–] yesman 12 points 2 months ago

Existential horror has calories?! Never mind potato chips, philosophy made me fat.

[–] Katana314 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Part of what’s made it difficult for me to turn vegetarian is I never feel full after a well-made salad. Even things like grain bowls feel a bit lacking sometimes.

[–] roguetrick 6 points 2 months ago

High fiber salads should decrease gastric emptying speed. Grain doesn't have a lot of fiber or protein to break down so it shouldn't spend much time in your stomach in the first place. Amylases are generally doing their work in your saliva and small intestine.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

you gotta have the legumes

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Heeeere we go again guys.... hold on to your jeans

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago
[–] aeronmelon 9 points 2 months ago

“Do you want to get a bite to eat?”

“No thanks. I have Lovecraft at home.”

[–] merari42 9 points 2 months ago

Pawh. I do not consume existential horror. It consumes me.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Steel might be difficult to digest, but it is very caloric dense.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I haven't eaten in three days and my stomach is still full of existential horror

[–] nifty 4 points 2 months ago

That sweet, sweet exy horror 🤤

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

c/imsorryjon

[–] Noodle07 2 points 2 months ago

How much is 400 calories of calories?