this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 month ago (1 children)

While not very humorous, some of the most useful permanent items on our shared shopping list include “That spice that ran out” and “That thing I was looking for the other day”. They’ve saved the day a few times over ten or so years.

[–] ivanafterall 22 points 1 month ago

This is so stupid and completely genius at the same time. It would absolutely work for me.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

1 flux capacitor
2 positrons
1 hug
1 thingamajig
3 liters of blinker fluid
one simple manual excavator
1 mol of oxygen
1 µg of unobtanium
1 grimoir for casting spells 
1 ring to rule them all
50 melons for grade school math problem

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

50 melons for grade school math problem

Actually I think I'm gonna start with:

"(10x-0.5)/2 snickers bars, where x is how much of my snickers you ate, you asshole."

[–] spittingimage 4 points 1 month ago

I charge a husband tax too. 10% of her snacks are mine.

[–] Thebular 12 points 1 month ago

"1 hug" is a regular addition to my fiancé's list when she asks me if there's anything I need. It's a great addition because then I get my hug!

[–] rowinxavier 11 points 1 month ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

top or bottom? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

🥺

👉👈

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Here you go

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just really want some symmetry violation and new physics. It's getting stale in here.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Yummy! 😋

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

1 left sock

And much further down the list

1 right sock

[–] Shapillon 10 points 1 month ago

That's a delicious idea.

One might even say its sockulent

[–] hakunawazo 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

fertilizer
gas
nails
cable
egg timer
pressure cooker
sunglasses
wig

And your partner will be soon on a list too.

[–] bi_tux 3 points 1 month ago

very important: you need POTASSIUM fertilizer

[–] Venicon 17 points 1 month ago

I honestly pop in ‘yo butt’ into our shared shopping list and it usually gets an eye roll.

[–] ivanafterall 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Deez nuts

Edit: Which I recently found is a real brand of nuts. Dee's Nutz, I believe. So be careful or you may just end up with some unexpected, delicious peanuts to snack on.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Male: condoms, canteloupe, watermelon, Vaseline Female:condoms, squash, cucumber, carrots,

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

As an aside, do not use Vaseline with condoms. In addition to it not being body safe for internal use, some condoms are still latex and vaseline will dissolve them. Most condoms these days are nitrile, but again see above re: internal insertion safety.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I feel like this only works if those are the only items on the list. If you also have apples, berries, potatoes, onions, shampoo and toothpaste, it's just a normal shopping list.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Only men are stretchy enough to fit melons up their ass, and women have to stick with more mundane phallic vegetables?

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Amazing present for insert your own name here

[–] obinice 11 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I occasionally put "magic beans" on there :-)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago
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[–] hakunawazo 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] AngryCommieKender 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] hakunawazo 2 points 1 month ago

Thank you. It's my first. 😊

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

My partner does this already. The number of times I've found "tush squish" is... I've lost track.

I got him back by adding chicken hats to his online cart.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago
[–] RBWells 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Peace of mind

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago
[–] spittingimage 4 points 1 month ago

~~Staple gun~~

Band-aids

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Everyone! Please keep commenting! I'm getting some great ideas here!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Pet supplies for animals you don't have. Things that don't exist but sound like things you might find at a grocery store, like pot slippers from the kitchen utensils, vegan mangos, aged vermhölsterdoif cheese, or barkley salt. Rare spices the stores your partner shops at do not sell. I get a kick out of being macabre so long pork, stray child. Ingredients your partner hates. Confusing typos.

[–] Dasus 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Vanilla flavoured bananas.

Peppered mandarins.

Pickled macaroni.

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[–] recapitated 2 points 1 month ago (6 children)
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