I want to be played by a dog
My life isn't very interesting, but it'd really spice things up if they had a dog try to do it.
this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2024
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Asklemmy
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There's no rule that says a dog can't play ~~basketball~~ a person!
:P
The Air Bud cinematic universe is a lawless hellscape
What's the story, Wishbone?
You spent the first few years of your life, catching tail and sniffing butt, winning through life on loveable personality alone, and becoming a loyal and devoted partner, spending your sunset years curled up on a nice seat, watching the kids do their thing and getting occasional head pats from strangers for a life well lived and job well done.
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Aubrey Plaza. Sheβs way hotter than me (thatβs kinda the point), and not half Japanese (will make the racist parts confusing and/or hilarious) but she could definitely pull off my resting bitch face and general disdain for everything.
Danny Devito.
...I'm a woman.
I refer to him as Daddy DeVito
... I'm a dude.
Ed Sheeran. Specifically because he's not an actor and would stumble through the movie just like I stumbled through life. All ginger, no plan.
All Ginger No Plan - that's an amazing life motto. ;)
Sounds like the name of a stand up comedy special.
Sounds like an orange cat
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I'm pretty tall, so the logical choice would be Tom Cruise on 12 inch heels.
Three Tom Cruises in a trenchcoat
Brad Pitt.
Bit of a downgrade but I can live with it.
I want my movie to be cast entirely with Muppets and Tim Walz.
Best answer
Shit. I didn't think this through well enough. Can I change my answer to yours?
Gary Oldman, dude's a chameleon. I'm sure he could find a way to play a mid 30s SE Asian dude
Christopher Walken, Jeff Goldblum, Willem Dafoe, and Gary Oldman. All of them.
Everywhere, all at once.
So sorta like the imaginarium of Dr. parnissius? ( its called something along those lines lol)
David Cross and Bob Odenkirk, with a made-up face surgery scene mid-film to explain the change.
They're both male so I'm assuming you were very ugly and bald at some point but now not quite as ugly and your hairline is ...un-receding?
Jk
I'm actually a beautiful woman. They will both have to agree to substantial surgeries before they agree to play me.
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Nicolas Cage
Looks nothing like, but it would be funny as hell and in order to get him to sign up, they would have to make it somehow trippy and surreal.
Zac Efron.
The girl I was crushing on in high school crushed on him really hard as he appeared in High School Musical. I spent wayyyy too much of my youth trying to emulate Zac Efron as a result. Eventually, that whole style just kinda became my whole style. Seems like a good fit.
Karl Pilkington. he would do a great job of complaining about every minor inconvenience I've dealt with
John Malkovich, I don't know why. I just like him. And I think he would be kind in my portrayal.
In Soviet Russia, John Malkovich being you.
Ditto. I think he could bring out the exasperation and pessimism that so much of my life warrants. And the transition to the good parts would be even funnier. "Oh, sorry honey, you're why I keep going. I should have said that to him."
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I look like a middle-aged Richard Gere, with hair loss. All action on the sides, and nothing on top.
Iβve been told more than once that I look like βthat creepy Scarecrow guy from Batman Begins.β So I guess Cillian Murphy. I didnβt like looking creepy tho.
Adrien Brody.
I'm told, quite often, I look like him. Plus he's a method actor or whatever do we would get to hang out which might be cool. He seems nice.
For the 5% of my adult life that Iβve had short hair and no beard: Quentin Tarantino. For the rest of my bearded, long-haired adulthood: Steve Burke from Gamers Nexus. But they need to have blue/green eyes and forehead wrinkles.
(Huh. On paper that just sounds like I look like Nick Offerman, but not really.)
Was hoping to see Margot Robbie in here requesting Margot Robbie play her
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Rowan Atkinson.
People say I look like Carrie Ann Moss (Trinity) but as a child I had more Lucy Lawless resemblances. So I don't know, but either case they'll have to get a tan cause I'm more of a Penelope Cruz skin tone.
Melissa McCarthy, she has a good sense of humor which is great because my life is kind of a joke.
John Cusack (high fidelity)
John Cusack (Gross Pointe Blank)
No question at all, definitely Tim Robbins, although he is older than me, we are fan casting.
Jason Mamoa. I look like if he took a break from the gym for a year. He and I also share several hobbies.
Gary Busey in cheap drag
Some lonely sad miserable and depressed actor
I dunno, nobody in Hollywood looks the way I look.
So, I guess I'd pick John Candy because I just like the guy.
Yeah, I know he's dead. If I can't have him, then Ildris Elba because he's fucking cool.
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