this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] NegativeInf 89 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Simple. It's the combustion process of the luminiferous aether, which is like the cosmic equivalent of air, just finer and undetectable by modern instruments. See, the sun doesn't need oxygen like regular fires because it's tapping into this vast reservoir of aether that permeates the entire universe. As the sun rotates, it creates pressure waves that compress the aether particles, causing them to vibrate intensely. These vibrations generate heat through a process called “aetheric oscillation.”

Now, since the sun is massive, it can harness an unlimited amount of aether, and the energy release is what we experience as sunlight. Think of it like a giant cosmic steam engine, except instead of coal and water, it's running on pure space aether and high-velocity vibrations. And that’s why it keeps burning without needing any of that "earthbound" oxygen nonsense. It's all about the oscillation efficiency, really.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You should present your findings to the queen, this is a very important development in the field of astrological studies

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[–] courgette 68 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

God's keyboard

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Nah, it's incandescent, that explain the heat

[–] pigup 6 points 2 months ago

Solar powered, no less

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (2 children)

No oxygen in space? Dude, there's tons of it, it's just all getting sucked into the sun. The further away from the sun you get, the more oxygen there is.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Like, almost 100% of all oxygen in the entire universe is in space, rather than Earth:-P.

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The sun is actually a sad FAILED star! SMALL! When you look at the stars I look at Big stars strong stars. The sun is Nothing! Crooked Mercury props it up! That's why Mercury lops so bad now. Sad. The other stars they want toake our sun into one of those shithole stars. BLACK HOLES!! Not me though I love the Sun ask anyone. No one can take care of the sun like me. We're practically the same color

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[–] Contramuffin 30 points 2 months ago (4 children)

It's very simple - the sun isn't burning. The sun is actually a very large healing crystal. As you may know, healing crystals capture the harmonic vibrations of the universe and turn them into things that are good for our health, like warmth, vitamins, essential oils, and positive ions.

The sun is made out of a healing crystal that converts the vibrations into warmth, witch is what we see as sunlight. The sun is so big that it's able to capture a lot of harmonic vibrations and so it makes a lot of warmth.

The real question is who polished the healing crystal that forms the sun, and who put it up into space. The natural answer is that it's clearly done by my good friend Moonlight Namaste, and she will teach you how to do the same thing if you visit her blog and sign up for her meditation classes. With enough guided meditation, you too will start to see the universal vibrations and learn how to change your oscillations to match the universal vibrations. The first 200 people who sign up will get a free dream catcher, so sign up today!

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[–] Etterra 26 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The sun is the male of its species, and it's appearance is bright and flashy, used to attract a mate. Unfortunately there's no female stars nearby. So the poor, stupid thing has spent billions of years courting Jupiter instead.

But not only is Jupiter a whole different species, it already has a mate - Saturn. You can easily tell that Jupiter's the male because of its own flashy coloration. Plus, you can even see the ring it gave Saturn when they got married, as well as it's own much more modest wedding ring.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Little known fact, stars are actually like angler fish... The male is significantly smaller than the female of the species.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This is to blame on solar panels. Modern ones are very black, i.e. a serious lack of light, creating a photonic imbalance that forces light upwards, where gravitational clustering creates an illusion of a burning spherical object.
If you are in doubt about this, check old photos- there’s no picture of the sun before the invention of solar panels. Same goes for paintings, although really old ones have a sort of symbolic sun-like object, which may be caused by the solar panels on visiting aliens’ starships (ref. Von Dänicken, 1968).

[–] Anticorp 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

solar panels. Modern ones are very black

Is this why the far right hates solar?

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[–] hexdream 23 points 2 months ago

Spite. Pure spite. Here, have some cancer you ungrateful bastards.

[–] quinkin 20 points 2 months ago

Once you realise the so called "sun" is really flat, the answer becomes obvious.

They pipe the oxygen in from behind the sun.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

Good question. The reason the sun is burning in space is because it is very spicy in space.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Like rocket engines in space, the sun has its own oxidizer tank. Let's hope it won't run out anytime soon.

[–] Anticorp 6 points 2 months ago

Oops! I punctured the tank.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

You got it the wrong way round

Space has no oxygen because the Sun burned it all.

[–] stupidcasey 15 points 2 months ago (3 children)

A: The sun isn’t in space it’s its own self contained atmosphere,

B: The sun has oxygen, or at least it would except…

C: The sun isn’t “on fire” it’s a fusion reactor, which means it is so hot that the electrons are free flowing so they don’t form into traditional atoms and the nucleus is under so much pressure that the nucleus can combine into a new element releasing ungodly amounts of energy.

D: magic probably.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] stupidcasey 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

The D is strong in this one

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[–] MeatPilot 15 points 2 months ago

At the center you will find a cat tied to a piece of buttered toast.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

It's the weight of responsibility for keeping the solar system together.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Duh, because of fusion of course.

Protons in the sun's core fuse until they form oxygen and carbon and those burn on the surface.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The sun is a government projection you idiots

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's burning from the scorching hot insults we throw at it.

Here's my insult to feed the sun

Youre trying to be the center of attention, but really you're just a big ball of gas with a serious ego problem, and you don't see it because you're blinded by yourself.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

The Sun uses original oxygen called hydrogen, that and she thicc af with all that gravity

[–] Narauko 11 points 2 months ago (3 children)

The sun is a giant lithium battery that became a spicy pillow and then exploded, and as everyone knows you can't put out a lithium battery fire like a regular fire. The fire department just pushed it out there into space beyond the environment to let it burn itself out, which is expected to take at least 5 billion more years.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

The sun isn't space, it has plenty of oxygen.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Well, first of all, through God, all things are possible, so jot that down

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Because the Telltubbies perform live human sacrifice at the Winter Solstice to summon a New Sun.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

It's a GOD, stupid. It can do whatever it wants.

[–] BluesF 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Everything comes from stars including oxygen, duh.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

It's just very angry

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Don't tell me you still believe in oxygen! The sun is made of phlogiston, so it instantly ignites. Since there's no air in space for the phlogiston to saturate into, it can keep burning for millions of years!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

The sun is actually just a giant mirror that makes small things look really big and the thing you see in the sky is just a really bright light bulb

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

It's burning with hatred for earth. It wants to consume it, but it will take time to gather enough strength...
Time in which frustratingly, its flaming hate transformed earth into a unique, living planet, and lead to the most vile and disgusting creation in the entire universe, My Little Pony.

[–] Etterra 8 points 2 months ago

It's the ultimate min-maxed fireballb spell, slowly expanding after its initial casting some 4 to 5 billion years ago (relative local time). We're in range of its blast radius, but the caster's turn still hasn't ended so it hasn't reached us yet.

[–] KillerTofu 7 points 2 months ago (4 children)

The sun is a miasma of incandescent plasma.

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[–] Clinicallydepressedpoochie 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

The sun isn't burning. Wtf are you talking about? The sun is a projector. Projecting our lives onto this planet earf.

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[–] Randelung 7 points 2 months ago

the souls of the damned

[–] hakunawazo 7 points 2 months ago

The sun is technically not burning. It's just lesser freezing than the rest.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And who is adding more wood to it? Ancient Egyptians?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

It took a deep breath...

[–] j4k3 6 points 2 months ago

It is the flaming tail of the turtle that the Turth (turtle-earth...

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