this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2024
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[–] JusticeForPorygon 48 points 2 months ago (2 children)

We have to lock ours in a safe because our cat's an asshole

[–] felixwhynot 18 points 2 months ago

We would like to see the evidence

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Hate this diagram because who uses a bread box without any of the other non-chaotic evil options.

Chaotic neutral and lawful good is the GOAT

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Drop the bread box and just gently squish the entire loaf before twisting and tucking to basically vacuum seal it. That's my GOAT

[–] wjrii 6 points 2 months ago

This. For soft crumb American sandwich sliced bread, you want as little air circulation as possible, balanced only by not crushing the loaf. A bread box is a quaint place to toss the bread once you squish the air out, but without the bag it's basically the same as the chaotic evil option.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This image is fairly old, and I have disagreed with it from the get go. Chaotic evil is tying as many knots as possible, forcing one to cut the bag open.

[–] Delta_V 7 points 2 months ago

After licking every slice.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You put the bread in a bottle and you can just put the cap on it to keep it fresh. You can just pour it into your toaster after that!

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[–] rockSlayer 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Cut the top off of a 2 liter bottle and put the bread bag through the neck, spread it around the neck, then put on the bottle cap.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 months ago (1 children)

sounds like a lot of work when I can just leave the bag open

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 8 points 2 months ago

Why even put it back tbh

[–] theatomictruth 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
  • cut the neck off a plastic bottle
  • thread the end of the bag through
  • fold the bag open around the bottle neck
  • close the cap, trapping the bag between the bottle neck and the cap.

I’m sure it works but any other method of closing the bag from the top two rows are better imo, at least for bread.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I do neutral evil because I haven't seen a reason to do anything else.

[–] TheRealKuni 7 points 2 months ago (6 children)

You’ve never ended up with stale or moldy bread? I’m envious.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Bread is a stapleware, as such it needs to be eaten. Keeping the bag open for easier (tactical), time-critical access is a thus a necessity.

[–] TheRealKuni 6 points 2 months ago

That’s why I live that chaotic neutral life.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

the... the bottle hack is for things like popcorn kernels that you can pour...

whoever closes a bread with the bottle hack is the true evil hiding in plain sight

[–] AA5B 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (6 children)

Does anyone still have a bread box? I assume it’s to stop rodents, but hopefully most people don’t have rodents in their house. Does a bread box do anything else, or is that another technology that can fade into history?

Edit: TIL;

[–] Fredselfish 7 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I bought bread box once but every time we used it the bread wouldn’t last 3 days. Can anyone explain why that was?

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Jokes on you, de-aired, twisted, twist tied and tucked

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Just like my balls.

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[–] lazycouchpotato 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Chaotic neutral for me. The twist tie goes in my twist tie collection.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

idk why anyone would choose anything but chaotic neutral

unless you own a breadbox

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[–] dejected_warp_core 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Here's a version for my fellow gluten-free peeps:

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[–] GladiusB 14 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I put mine in the fridge. Why? It lasts longer.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (3 children)

That's actually false. Bread is one of the few items that turn bad quicker in the fridge than on the counter. https://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/shopping-storing/food/bread-storage

[–] dingus 17 points 2 months ago

I live in a hot, humid environment. Keeping bread in the fridge helps it to stay good for multiple weeks. If I leave it out, it molds way quicker. I also sometimes will store bread in the freezer to keep it fresh even longer if I know I'm just going to make toast out of it.

[–] GladiusB 9 points 2 months ago

Oh I don't mean homemade. I meant regular bread. I don't bake. I cook. But good to know!

[–] atx_aquarian 7 points 2 months ago

Yeah, good point, but that article isn't talking about what's in this picture.

Store-bought sandwich bread usually can be kept in the fridge without much change in texture. That’s because it often contains additives and preservatives that keep it fresh longer.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Freezer is my preference. Stays good for very long and keeps the texture and freshness. Put it in toaster or microwave after if in a hurry, otherwise you can just put slices in the fridge so you have unfrozen ones for the breakfast.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 6 points 2 months ago

I just never bake mine.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I use a bread box and still put the bread in its original bag with the original clip.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

True lawful good. Bread box alone is chaotic evil disguised as lawful good.

Bread box doesn't preserve air retention or protect against anything smaller than a mouse (roaches, air borne nasties).

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Where does “twist and pull back over the loaf” fall? Same as twist and tuck essentially?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Its really just the best method no need for some stupid ass bottle cap. But it seals it just as well.

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[–] ramenshaman 11 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I think in my entire life I've only ever seen one or maybe 2 bread boxes.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

10th option: eat the entire loaf in one sitting.

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[–] einlander 8 points 2 months ago (3 children)
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[–] jadedwench 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I tie a slip knot. That is stupidly easy to do/undo, but apparently I am hated for it.

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[–] JohnnyH842 7 points 2 months ago

Twist & Tuck gang

[–] Xeroxchasechase 7 points 2 months ago

I'm chaotic neutral!

[–] Bruncvik 7 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Where's the "four slices per freezer bag and keep in the freezer" option? Or am I just too good for this chart?

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[–] NegativeLookBehind 7 points 2 months ago

Chaotic neutral is the one true answer because it requires no secondary sealing device (clip, twist tie, rubber band, etc). It also allows you to open the bag with one hand.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Hair tie. I always have 1, or 2, or 3 in my pocket.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I had to switch to using a bread box because my dog would eat anything on the counter, and I didn't really have anywhere else to store my bread/bagels without really rearranging my limited cabinet space.

That dog was ravenous. She even ate a whole crab once, shell and all. I learned my lesson.

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