this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2024
442 points (94.2% liked)

Not The Onion

12166 readers
416 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 103 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Maybe they can take Ted Cruz back while they're at it?

[–] Lost_My_Mind 56 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If not Canada, then maybe russia? I hear they're desprately hiring new people!

[–] NegativeInf 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I hear the surface of the sun is granting citizenship to all those who apply.

[–] Lost_My_Mind 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

No no. Lets not fuck with the sun. If somehow the sun goes out, we're all fucked. If they have some issue in russia, thats a them problem.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Because of the sun doing what it is, chucking our worldly problems onto it will only make it more sun

[–] NegativeInf 8 points 2 months ago

If Donald Trump can poison the entire sun with his mere presence he should be dissected for science.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Texan here. You mean Rafael Edward Cruz?

The immigrant that's against immigrants?

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

No one wants Ted Cruz

[–] MushuChupacabra 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I resent threats like this.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You're from alberta i take it?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] cabron_offsets 75 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Fugg is wrong with Alberta?

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So many things.

Source: Am Albertan

[–] spicytuna62 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

But at least y'all don't have ~~mice.~~

Edit: aw, rats.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

We have mice; well the province does, I don't because I have three cats. We don't have persistent rat colonies though, which is probably what you were thinking of.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's essentially the Texas of Canada.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Texas at least has a somewhat diversified economy, Alberta has a meltdown every time the price of oil drops

[–] [email protected] 69 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Fair warning: This is CultMTL. It's not a very serious newspaper. They tend to exaggerate things all the time. Take this with a grain of salt.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (6 children)

I haven't been to alberta but it checks out for albertans that have come here that I have worked with in oil related steel trades.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Sampling bias; Albertans working in O&G are going to be the shittiest people our province has to offer

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] ikidd 60 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I live in rural Alberta and it's pretty rare for anyone to profess admiration for the orange shitbird. It's usually the people nobody likes to be around anyway.

I call bullshit on this article.

[–] grue 19 points 2 months ago

The trick is that they’re cherry-picking the most right-wing province and comparing it to the entire US averaged as a whole.

[–] Oderus 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I hope you're right because rural Alberta was why we have Danielle Smith as Premier. She's a lunatic.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Good fucking god I hate Albertans

-An Albertan

[–] samus12345 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] MycelialMass 46 points 2 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 months ago (2 children)

the issue is that the people who do actually like him really like him, recently it's gotten to freakishly cult-like levels

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Well yeah recently, if you live under a rock

[–] samus12345 6 points 2 months ago

Recently in geological terms.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] wjrii 34 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They're welcome to him. I suspect even for oil-loving Albertans, stupid tough-guy posturing is more appealing than the reality of Donald fuckin' Trump actually being in charge of anything about your life.

[–] Windex007 10 points 2 months ago

If you read the article it's still -13%.

So, pretty brain-dead to interpret that as wanting him.

[–] Reygle 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just FYI, Alberta is the Arkansas of Canada

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I'm thinking a cold West Texas: oil and cattle.

[–] WhyFlip 23 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Isn't Alberta full of stupid red necks?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

It is the Texas of Canada... And sometimes they forget they aren't actually Texas

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JustZ 21 points 2 months ago

The fantasy is always better than the real thing.

[–] cultsuperstar 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Hey Canadian friends, what happened to that lunatic that proclaimed herself the queen of Canada and convinced her caravan followers to stop paying their bills and stuff? I haven't really seen anything about her in a while. I remember towns were barring her and her followers from entering, but I think that's the last I heard.

[–] Cyclist 7 points 2 months ago

She's still around. Laying low for the most part but still screwing with peoples lives.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] uebquauntbez 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

DJT is most popular in Russia, China and North Korea!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] pubquiz 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Only if he moves to Taber. Or Mayerthorpe. Or Edmonton. Them good ole AB cuntry folk love them some authoritarian figure-heads. Have fun, 34-times-convicted-felon.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Isn't Edmonton the Liberal / NDP powerhouse of Alberta?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

He's also more popular in Russia. Let them have him.

With any luck he'll bitch about lack of McDonald's and fall out a window.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Alberta, the Texas of the North... full of degens

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

We certainly love moronic elected officials fml

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Now that's comedy

load more comments
view more: next ›