this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 122 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Hey look! It's Dementia Don the racist rapist with 34 felonies that can't complete a coherent sentence, and his weirdo side kick, couch fucker. You may better know him as the guy that talked shit about Dementia Don, referring to him as Hitler for one fine example.

[–] Myxomatosis 29 points 3 months ago

Don’t forget pedophile!

[–] P00ptart 9 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Trump needs a legit supervillain name, so his side kick couch fucker doesn't feel left out.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

Fanta Menace?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Pageant Predator?

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 9 points 3 months ago

He's a villain, all right, just not a super one.

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[–] [email protected] 103 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

LOL. At first, I was like "ugh, please don't editorialize the post title" but then I clicked the link.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 3 months ago (1 children)

biasbot rates it a HIGH credibility source too LOL

[–] [email protected] 53 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Just goes to show you can be spicy and credible at the same time.

Also, I don't think the headlines are typically factored into credibility ratings (I could be wrong on that, though). Otherwise, no media outlet would have a shred of it. I guess that's just being realistic to the click-bait world we live in.

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 3 months ago (5 children)

A lot of people are saying they’re banging each other

[–] Theprogressivist 63 points 3 months ago (4 children)

They definitely had a threesome with a couch.

[–] MermaidsGarden 47 points 3 months ago (8 children)

Are people still talking about JD Vance having sex with a couch? We need to put to bed the idea of JD Vance having sex with a couch. It’s not appropriate for people to think of Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance having sex with a couch. JD Vance has gone on record to deny that he has had bare skin contact with a couch within the last 5 years. It’s absurd that JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after making sweet, passionate love to a KIVIK Sofa Chaise.

Once again, there is no evidence of JD Vance having sex with a couch. You need to stop calling JD Vance a couchfucker.

[–] grue 22 points 3 months ago

☝️ This, but unironically.

Because the bigger issue is the dolphin fetish!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Look, I don't know if JD Vance had sex with a couch. I don't even know if JD Vance had sex with couch cushions. But yes, I've heard that JD Vance did not WRITE that he had sex with a couch in his book. I don't know if JD Vance wrote he had sex with a couch somewhere else, though.

John Oliver called Vance's staff to ask and they hung up on Oliver, which was reported as 'not a "no"', so I had been thinking, 'ya know? maybe that JD Vance guy really is a couchfucker, who knows?' But here you're saying he's denied it? Or partially denied it? Well I don't know what to think now, but I guess it is safer to presume JD Vance having sex with a couch is probably more legend than fact. Certainly, JD Vance having sex with a couch isn't something you'd want to discuss in polite society or political debate because we've no proof and a possible denial.

[–] flicker 18 points 3 months ago

I want to take a moment to talk about the idiocy of hanging up on Jon Oliver.

If Jon Oliver calls you to ask a question, you need to answer. Hanging up on Jon Oliver asking if you've fucked a couch makes me think you actually have fucked a couch.

Before, I was in it for the memes, but that really does make me think he's fucked a couch.

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[–] Laereht 9 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I promise I'll never say that jd vance violated a couch in a fit of reckless lust ever again.

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[–] tiamats_wrath 17 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Not just a couch, probably some weird sectional with a chaise on one side and maybe a recliner on the other meant for a more “cinematic” experience.

[–] TipRing 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They're saying Vance was....

In it for the chaise.

[–] dhork 10 points 3 months ago

That is sofa king funny

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

A couch they named Ivanka

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[–] mightyfoolish 14 points 3 months ago

One's not a child or pornstar and the other isn't a couch. Probably not happening.

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[–] HWK_290 75 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz has been the foremost practitioner of the "call them weird" campaign strategy, but Harris has deployed it as well. It resonates with normal people, who just want to live their lives and keep the government out of their underwear and have Thanksgiving dinner without their weird uncle starting some weird fight about some weird Fox News talking head who is still obsessed about finishing fifth in a college swim meet many years ago.

Nailed it

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Maybe soon Trump's ear will be potty trained and won't have to wear diapers.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I was gonna say: Haven't there been photos of him no longer wearing the ear diaper? Has his brain infection resumed seeping?

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 months ago

An old pitiful weird man with his couch loving friend. What a bunch of weirdos

[–] Diplomjodler3 28 points 3 months ago

Donnie Poopypants and JD Couchfucker. Name a more iconic duo.

[–] davidagain 25 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

That was a great and well written article. Amusing and informative. You should read it if you haven't.

And no, I would absolutely not want Trump at the dinner table, it would be exhausting, and I wouldn't want Vance at the dinner table, he's just too unhinged. If Kamala Harris came to dinner I think we'd all have a good time. I think she'd be good company.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm really liking this strategy of calling them weird as hell

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago

Gross rape advocates.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I have no problem spreading fake rumours about JD Vance the couch fucker.

[–] mightyfoolish 8 points 3 months ago

The new guy at the factory put too much stuffing in the couch Vance bought; made it too thiccc. The factory guy wasn't experienced yet at his job unlike that couch once Vance bought it.

(It's been awhile since I have seen such a positive thread on Lemmy.)

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

That was a good editorial. Worth more than an up vote. Thanks for sharing

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

"i'm thrilled to have vance as my VP" LOL

[–] samus12345 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I hate that these guys are giving weirdos a bad name. There's nothing wrong with being weird, it's HOW you're weird that matters, and they are for all the wrong reasons.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

The article covers this

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

It's so funny how upset it makes the free speech absolutist, 'lol triggering leftist snowflakes, fuck your feelings' types.

It's the online equivalent of going to sit next to someone on the bus and then pausing to look them up and down, grimace and side eye someone else like 'are you seeing this shit?' and sitting somewhere else.

It genuinely seems to hurt their feelings and that makes me happier than it should. I think it's the schadenfreude for those who spend their lives saying horrible, hurtful things about minorities and the vulnerable actually experiencing even 5% of the feeling.

Really warms the cockles.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Ew no. Looking at things like that could damage your eyesight.

[–] MediaBiasFactChecker 8 points 3 months ago

Defector Media Bias Fact Check Credibility: [High] (Click to view Full Report)

Defector is rated with High Creditability by Media Bias Fact Check.

Bias: Left-Center
Factual Reporting: High
Country: United States of America
Full Report: https://mediabiasfactcheck.com/defector-bias/

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[–] NineMileTower 7 points 3 months ago

Ramsalami: "Now that my boy is losing, we really need to knock off all the dumb insults and focus on policy."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I'm ootl about where the 'weird' phenomenon started last week

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (9 children)

Basically, Minnesota governor Tim Walz started using it a while back, and people loosely affiliated with the Harris campaign realized how powerful it was after the couch memes took off.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Thanks. I appreciate the extra context!

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