this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2024
724 points (97.5% liked)

politics

19091 readers
3949 users here now

Welcome to the discussion of US Politics!

Rules:

  1. Post only links to articles, Title must fairly describe link contents. If your title differs from the site’s, it should only be to add context or be more descriptive. Do not post entire articles in the body or in the comments.

Links must be to the original source, not an aggregator like Google Amp, MSN, or Yahoo.

Example:

  1. Articles must be relevant to politics. Links must be to quality and original content. Articles should be worth reading. Clickbait, stub articles, and rehosted or stolen content are not allowed. Check your source for Reliability and Bias here.
  2. Be civil, No violations of TOS. It’s OK to say the subject of an article is behaving like a (pejorative, pejorative). It’s NOT OK to say another USER is (pejorative). Strong language is fine, just not directed at other members. Engage in good-faith and with respect! This includes accusing another user of being a bot or paid actor. Trolling is uncivil and is grounds for removal and/or a community ban.
  3. No memes, trolling, or low-effort comments. Reposts, misinformation, off-topic, trolling, or offensive. Similarly, if you see posts along these lines, do not engage. Report them, block them, and live a happier life than they do. We see too many slapfights that boil down to "Mom! He's bugging me!" and "I'm not touching you!" Going forward, slapfights will result in removed comments and temp bans to cool off.
  4. Vote based on comment quality, not agreement. This community aims to foster discussion; please reward people for putting effort into articulating their viewpoint, even if you disagree with it.
  5. No hate speech, slurs, celebrating death, advocating violence, or abusive language. This will result in a ban. Usernames containing racist, or inappropriate slurs will be banned without warning

We ask that the users report any comment or post that violate the rules, to use critical thinking when reading, posting or commenting. Users that post off-topic spam, advocate violence, have multiple comments or posts removed, weaponize reports or violate the code of conduct will be banned.

All posts and comments will be reviewed on a case-by-case basis. This means that some content that violates the rules may be allowed, while other content that does not violate the rules may be removed. The moderators retain the right to remove any content and ban users.

That's all the rules!

Civic Links

Register To Vote

Citizenship Resource Center

Congressional Awards Program

Federal Government Agencies

Library of Congress Legislative Resources

The White House

U.S. House of Representatives

U.S. Senate

Partnered Communities:

News

World News

Business News

Political Discussion

Ask Politics

Military News

Global Politics

Moderate Politics

Progressive Politics

UK Politics

Canadian Politics

Australian Politics

New Zealand Politics

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 79 points 3 months ago (4 children)

A lot of people are saying they’re banging each other

[–] Theprogressivist 63 points 3 months ago (4 children)

They definitely had a threesome with a couch.

[–] MermaidsGarden 47 points 3 months ago (6 children)

Are people still talking about JD Vance having sex with a couch? We need to put to bed the idea of JD Vance having sex with a couch. It’s not appropriate for people to think of Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance having sex with a couch. JD Vance has gone on record to deny that he has had bare skin contact with a couch within the last 5 years. It’s absurd that JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after making sweet, passionate love to a KIVIK Sofa Chaise.

Once again, there is no evidence of JD Vance having sex with a couch. You need to stop calling JD Vance a couchfucker.

[–] grue 22 points 3 months ago

☝️ This, but unironically.

Because the bigger issue is the dolphin fetish!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Look, I don't know if JD Vance had sex with a couch. I don't even know if JD Vance had sex with couch cushions. But yes, I've heard that JD Vance did not WRITE that he had sex with a couch in his book. I don't know if JD Vance wrote he had sex with a couch somewhere else, though.

John Oliver called Vance's staff to ask and they hung up on Oliver, which was reported as 'not a "no"', so I had been thinking, 'ya know? maybe that JD Vance guy really is a couchfucker, who knows?' But here you're saying he's denied it? Or partially denied it? Well I don't know what to think now, but I guess it is safer to presume JD Vance having sex with a couch is probably more legend than fact. Certainly, JD Vance having sex with a couch isn't something you'd want to discuss in polite society or political debate because we've no proof and a possible denial.

[–] flicker 18 points 3 months ago

I want to take a moment to talk about the idiocy of hanging up on Jon Oliver.

If Jon Oliver calls you to ask a question, you need to answer. Hanging up on Jon Oliver asking if you've fucked a couch makes me think you actually have fucked a couch.

Before, I was in it for the memes, but that really does make me think he's fucked a couch.

[–] P00ptart 6 points 3 months ago

I love how repeating that JD Vance is a couch fucker over and over, makes it that much more likely that it'll be picked up by AI search, and repeated as fact. Especially in articles like this.

[–] CharlesDarwin 2 points 3 months ago

Sure, but we are just asking questions, you guys!

🤣

[–] Laereht 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I promise I'll never say that jd vance violated a couch in a fit of reckless lust ever again.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Has anyone spoken with the couch? Maybe it's a willing participant in this sexual deviancy. I'm serious, is it even sex if someone uses a latex glove to ejaculate a couch? Do you think he had a name for the couch or was it just a spur of the moment thing? I'm starting to see your point... It was very likely unwanted behavior. Couches are not normally fucked with a latex glove covered cock. It was violated.

I'm not saying JD Vance fucked a couch but if he did it might have been something more serious than is being discussed.

[–] P00ptart 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I've reached out to the couch, but it said the trauma was too fresh to be able to open up about it at this time. I respected the will of the couch and left it at that.

[–] CharlesDarwin 1 points 3 months ago

For some reason I'm reminded of that quote in Altered States: "Sex is a mystical experience for you. You carry on like a flagellant which can be very nice, but l sometimes wonder if it's me that's being made love to. I feel like I'm being harpooned by some raging monk in the act of receiving God."

[–] CharlesDarwin 1 points 3 months ago

Don't think of JD fucking couches. Put the thought of him banging a couch right out of your mind...

[–] tiamats_wrath 17 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Not just a couch, probably some weird sectional with a chaise on one side and maybe a recliner on the other meant for a more “cinematic” experience.

[–] TipRing 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They're saying Vance was....

In it for the chaise.

[–] dhork 10 points 3 months ago

That is sofa king funny

[–] IchNichtenLichten 5 points 3 months ago

I heard he's got a perfectly nice sectional at home but he likes to cruise Ikea for a bit of strange once in a while.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

A couch they named Ivanka

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

I imagine it’s more like a threesome with a soggy pile of fabric, foam, and wood that used to be a perfectly innocent little piece of loveseat.

[–] mightyfoolish 14 points 3 months ago

One's not a child or pornstar and the other isn't a couch. Probably not happening.

[–] paraphrand 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

They could probably get the all time most views of forever, if they live stream it.