this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2024
834 points (97.2% liked)

memes

10713 readers
2456 users here now

Community rules

1. Be civilNo trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour

2. No politicsThis is non-politics community. For political memes please go to [email protected]

3. No recent repostsCheck for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month

4. No botsNo bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins

5. No Spam/AdsNo advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live.

Sister communities

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Snailpope 100 points 6 months ago (2 children)

My foreman would always say "Love my job" in a happy tone after anything bad happened on a job site. The happier the tone, the worse it was

[–] Num10ck 35 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Jerkface 23 points 6 months ago

"Dear God, he's doing H.M.S. Pintafore. We have to leave. Now!"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Vinny_93 57 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I feel like the one going on about defcon does not know defcon 5 is actually pretty chill

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Should've gone the Kanye route and said defcon 3

[–] hoch 11 points 6 months ago

*death con 3

[–] Hikermick 42 points 6 months ago (10 children)

Fun fact: in America asking "how's it going?" is just a greeting, nobody really cares

[–] Agent641 15 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Brits ofen say "You alright?" As a substitute for "Hi."

Pretty jarring when you're not used to it. Id think "God, I must look like shit if they're genuinely checking on my welfare!"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Yeah Tom Scott did one of his linguistics videos about that, he had a word for it but some questions aren't really questions they're basically just rituals, though rephrased a different way makes them genuine questions, and when you have major dialects of the "same" language like British and American English, we use different ones. "Are you alright?" is basically a noise of greeting in Britain and an expression of genuine concern in America, while "How are you?" is the reverse.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Thteven 9 points 6 months ago

Won't stop us from having a conversation or even just bitching about something that is randomly bothering us.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] Ejh3k 40 points 6 months ago (3 children)

My favorite to use: "not gonna lie to you."

[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago (2 children)

My coworker once when I asked him a hard question: "Don't make me lie to you."

I still think of that a lot and try to work it in when someone asks me an impossible question.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Implying that you... sometimes do!? :-P

[–] Beefytootz 17 points 6 months ago

When it comes to how I'm feeling? Sure, often even

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Implying that if you said "i'm (fine/ok/alright/good/etc)" would be a lie.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Since it is super easy, barely an inconvenience, I am going to share this link from where my statement came from:-)

https://youtu.be/_ru0pnAnq7g

(I wish Lemmy would show preview pics of YouTube videos to let people have a glimpse of what they are in for, but hopefully my hints were enough here:-)

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] I_Has_A_Hat 39 points 6 months ago (1 children)

"I'm doin." -I am not doing well and I don't want to talk about it. But I'm also too exhausted and shattered to keep lying about my mental state for the sake of social niceties, so I'm hoping my vague, neutral statement will either convey what I'm feeling, or you'll fill in the blank with whatever you want to hear. Just as long as you stop asking how I'm doing.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] WhiteRabbit_33 32 points 6 months ago

"Too blessed to be depressed" - they're a Christian fundamentalist who is depressed but trying to convince themselves otherwise. You should run.

[–] Passerby6497 29 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm here ain't I = Defcon 5

So normal then?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago

Yeah, def on 5 is basically civilian peace times, right?

[–] Trex202 24 points 6 months ago (5 children)

Living the dream!

Nightmares are dreams, right?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

"Living the dream!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I hope to wake up any day now."

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Defcon 5

I never know if they're meaning that it's not that bad, or if they actually mean defcon 1.

Because with defcon, the lower the number, the worse the situation.

[–] Agent641 12 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Seems very American. If you ask a German you be prepared to not get Smalltalk.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (2 children)

This isnt small talk, this is a survival mechanism to figure if the person will enact violence on you or not. Optimally you want the response to be empty words, grunting, or being told to fuck off.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] PugJesus 10 points 6 months ago (2 children)

A friend of mine, married to a European, said that I should have been born in Europe, not the US, due to my hatred of small talk.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (5 children)

Wh... what's y'alls base suicidality level

[–] PugJesus 28 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Our national holiday consists of drinking and playing with explosives at nighttime. You do the math.

It's generally a very cheerful level of suicidality though! Would be awful to bring the mood down by making a suicide all somber or some shit.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

it's not bad

[–] ZeroTHM 13 points 6 months ago

Fair to middlin'

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

Where does "Good enough" fit on the scale? Asking for a friend...

[–] PugJesus 27 points 6 months ago

"Good enough" is "My head is barely above water and I'm wondering if it's worth the effort"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Good enough= My day is shit, My week is shit, My life has been shit, but it's not as shit as other people so I don't have the right.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm German and for me, "can't complain" means I have nothing to complain, I'm fine, nothing special

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Aceticon 11 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

In the opposite direction, when I moved to England it took me a while to get used to compliment "inflation" over there.

For example when somebody's opinion on something is:

  • "interesting", it means it's shit
  • "ok", means it's bad or mediocre
  • "good" and "great", means it's average
  • "wonderful" and "amazing", means it's good

I once asked one of the natives how did they transmit the message that they trully believes something was a 10/10 and was explained that's done by going into details on how something is so great.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago

Don't forget "too blessed to be depressed"= I think God will be angry with me if I admit life (read: murica) isn't perfect

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

DefCon Stages:
5 - "I'm here, ain't I?"
4 - "ain't dead yet."
3 - "it is what it is"
2 - "I'm not gonna lie to you"
1 - "...don't worry about it"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

‘Nother day, ‘nother dollar…

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I prefer:
Nother day, nother dime, nother shit on company time.

[–] AngryCommieKender 18 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Boss makes a dollar,

I make a dime,

That was a poem,

For a simpler time.

Now the boss makes a hundred,

And the workers a cent,

While he has employees,

Who can't pay their rent.

Why wait till the boss makes a million,

And the workers make jack?

It's high time we riot,

And take our world back.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (3 children)

The traffic light simply would not turn green
So the people stopped to wait
As the traffic rolled and the wind blew cold
And the hour grew dark and late

Zoom-varoom, trucks, trailers,
Bikes and limousines,
Clatterin’ by — me oh my!
Won’t that light turn green?

But the days turned weeks, and the weeks turned months
And there on the corner they stood,
Twiddlin’ their thumbs till the changin’ comes
The way good people should.

And if you walk by that corner now,
You may think it’s rather strange
To see them there as they hopefully gaze
With the very same smile on their very same face
As they patiently stand in the very same place
And wait for the light to change.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Manifish_Destiny 11 points 6 months ago

Her horrors persist, and so do I.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

What annoys me with this culture is when they expect foreigners to use the same exhuberant language and they think something is wrong with you if you don't.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

British -

"Alright?"

"Alright?"

French -

"Çava?"

"Çava. Çava?"

Way simpler

[–] Thrashy 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My high-school friend group adopted "it goes" from our French class ("Comment ça va?" "Ça va!", roughly meaning "How goes it?" "It goes!" being the common neutral greeting taught in French classes) and I slightly resent it being described negatively here.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ZeroTHM 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

"On the right side of the dirt."

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago
load more comments
view more: next ›