this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

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-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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-Do not Brigade other Communities

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-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

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4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

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9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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[–] londos 78 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

To this day I don't know how to read Tweets in the right order. I always feel like I'm reading a Carnac joke.

[–] residentmarchant 29 points 2 weeks ago

I know how to read them, but I still always read the top tweet first, then the original tweet, then the top tweet again....

I know, I'm dumb

[–] TexasDrunk 26 points 2 weeks ago

YouTube to MP3.

YOUTUBE TO MP3!

Opens envelope and blows into it, pulling out a card

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Think Jeopardy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Retweets are like parentheses in math

^sorry if this shows up as a double comment, i'm not sure why it wasn't posting my comment^

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Carnac

I never watched Carson but then I found out about art fern a couple years ago. Looks like I've got another set of sketches to look up now

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[–] lung 68 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Steal an unloved kitten and give her a good home

[–] bazus1 29 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I knew there were some unsavory-types here on Lemmy, but I didn't know there were f'n monsters here. How do you sleep at night, you ghoul?

[–] ScruffyDucky 39 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Probably surrounded by kitties

[–] Crashumbc 7 points 2 weeks ago

That now have good homes.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Any outdoor cats without tags that you can convince to live with you is legally yours.

Don't let your cats outdoors, people. Free cats.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Posts direct content from news articles on Lemmy to save clicks and deny clickbait traffic.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Changing your own lightbulb was illegal in Victoria Australia until 1998.

Australia is pretty strict about electrical stuff, and only qualified electricians can perform electrical work, including work on any electrical fixtures. Light bulbs were counted as a fixture, until the law was amended in 1998 to specifically exclude light bulbs.

Australia is still a lot stricter than the USA in terms of electrical work you can do to your own house. It's still illegal to replace a light switch or outlet if you're not a qualified electrician.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Do they have people inspecting it to make sure you haven't?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Seriously. It sounds like a law that would be rather difficult if not impossible to enforce.

[–] Etterra 6 points 2 weeks ago

In Chicagoland there are places where you can't even plug something into an outlet because of Unions. I'm all for Unions, but some (especially the police) of them are basically shadow governments with their own special rules.

[–] jecht360 25 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Don't use YouTube to MP3, use one of the Deemix variants that downloads music straight from Deezer's servers.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I think its still piracy but i pay for deezer just so i can use deemix to get their FLACs lol.

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[–] db2 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

When you cross the street put your first step just over the crosswalk paint. Watch out for cops though, they'll shoot!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Sir this is America. They would be shooting anyway.

[–] Crashumbc 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Only if you're brown or darker...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Or an acorn. Or sleeping…

[–] son_named_bort 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Remove the tag from a couch that isn't yours.

[–] Delonix 2 points 2 weeks ago

That tag could be useful!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Not a crime and also completely legal

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It is violation of copyright?

[–] quixotic120 6 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Civil matter, not criminal

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

No it's completely legal. It's called time shifting.

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[–] samus12345 6 points 2 weeks ago

Download pirated games and movies. 🏴‍☠️

[–] FlyingSquid 6 points 2 weeks ago

Buy legal weed. Still federally illegal.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] wkk 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I'm fine with bank heists but please don't loiter :(

edit: English not my first language yada yada, I confused "loitering" for "littering"... I'm fine with loitering after all

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Practice shoplifting a little every time. Especially if you also have friends who want to get into crime.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Yes, start small, lift the plastic door off the hinges; then slowly go for the bigger stuff; hit the gym as swell to make it a little easier on yourself. Eventually you'll be able to lift that whole ass target.

[–] wreckedcarzz 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Local target store stolen in its entirety, investigators baffled

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Primary suspect is a Californian woman in a carmine trenchcoat

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Carry a screwdriver with replaceable bits and slowly dismantle everything, one screw at a time.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

I got a Target on my back and it's heavy as fuck

[–] merari42 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Phoenicia where thieves would literally lift the corner of a shop in order to snatch the sweet, sweet olives within

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Drive past a red light at an empty intersection at 1am

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Wear sunglasses at night

[–] owenfromcanada 3 points 2 weeks ago

That used to be called limewire

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

crossing the street beside, but not on, a sidewalk

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