Asklemmy

I‘d say I‘m honest and loyal, not particularly nice. To me nice means diplomatic, charismatic and with low temper.

I'm balanced.

I'll help you push you car. I'll hold the door for anyone, I'll let you in, in traffic. I'll over-tip the wait staff, even the ones having a bad day. I give kids in my neighborhood freezypops when it's hot AF. I'll go out of my way to make sure your food allergy is covered and you'll have safe snacks at my gathering.

I won't give the guy begging on the corner money. I won't help you forever if you never reciprocate. You skip a paycheck, I won't wait for you to get it sorted.

I won't remember that you hate mushrooms. I won't remember your kids name or wife's face. I'll forget you birthday if it's not in my calendar. I'll tell you I need to focus on something for an hour and go take a nap.

I can be. The other day, I was driving on a 70mph road and the lead car two in front hit a young deer. She had tried her best to avoid it but there was nothing she could do.

She pulled over with her signals flashing and as I went past I realised no one was going to stop, and then I had the thought of that happening to my wife, who is a vegetarian and would have been in bits, so I pulled over and ran back to check on her.

She was crying and shaking, I asked her to drop the window a bit and if she was ok. I told her it wasn't her fault and she should take as long as needed before driving, and that I would be in my car if needed.

I had my lunch and her husband soon arrived, coming to thank me, which I wasn't expecting. They were very nice and it was very sad and I was slightly emotional. They left eventually and I carried on with my day.

I can be grumpy as fuck, though.

I'm afraid not, I've never been to France much less be familiar enough to claim to be one of them.

I like to think I am. I used to be a piece of shit, and I've worked really hard over the last 9 years to become a better person. I don't always succeed, as the old demons like to pop their heads out every now and again, but I do put forth great effort most times.

Depends. I default to being friendly, but I’m not good at it. I’m a terrible conversationalist, and what is logical to me (from my perspective) often gets misconstrued as being an asshole. It’s never my intention, but I’m awful at reading people too. I just never really took the time to learn how to… people.

I take "nice" to mean something very different than "good" or "kind". No, I am not a nice person. I am inclined to be an honest asshole over a nice liar. I try my best to be good, kind, understanding, etc., but "nice" is, in my books, more about manners than good acts or genuine understanding. And I generally feel that time and effort spent on attempting to be "nice" is much better spent on genuinely empathizing with and supporting people, even when that support isn't kind or well-mannered at a glance.

I think I just take issue with the word "nice".

I'm a pheasant plucker.

I try to be when I can muster up the courage to speak. I've always been taught to treat others like how you want to be treated and since I can't handle people yelling and screaming I try to avoid that altogether. Even if you're mean to me, I'll try to be nice or I just don't say anything.

Fuck you mind your own business.

I try. I don't always succeed.

I'm a lovely person to everyone until they show me that they don't deserve it. After that, they are dead to me. Unfortunately, one of the people who has shown me that they don't deserve my time or respect is me, so i treat myself like shit. This does not work out so well for me.

I gave a quarter to a cute homeless lady once so I’d say I’m pretty nice.

I'm far too nice.

75%. I have my moments, plus it's hard to stay nice when there are so many assholes in the world.

No.. In my defence...

“Nice people made the best Nazis. My mom grew up next to them. They got along, refused to make waves, looked the other way when things got ugly and focused on happier things than “politics.” They were lovely people who turned their heads as their neighbors were dragged away. You know who weren’t nice people? Resisters.”– Naomi Shulman

No. I aspire to be kind to people that need kindness, though.

No.

No. But the world isn't a nice place.

I'm nice to service workers. I am not nice to people on the freeway. Take from that what you will.

Simple answer: No.

Nice to a fault. I think it's because I try to be the person I always wish I would have had access to because I've never really had any support from anyone.

I try to be, but people often tell me that I sound annoyed/aggressive even when I'm trying not to be.

No.

I am a good person with a capacity for kindness. The difference? It's not reflex.

Nice is the guy waving you through at a stop sign when it's their turn. Sure there's good intention, but seriously? No.

Absolutely not. I’m rude to people (just check my post history) and often passive aggressive. I have little patience for people and am often not in a good mood. I don’t help people much and don’t get any pleasure out of it. To me, there is always a 50/50 chance the next person I see/meet may try and hurt or kill me at any moment so I am always on the lookout.

So far, so good. But no, I would never classify me as a good person by any metric.

Hopefully, most of the time. I feel like I'm generally friendly and helpful, and compared to many people around me I feel like I don't let myself get to carried away with anger or frustration. I'm not too good at showing it though. Due to autism I feel like there's a bit of a difference between how society expects people to show friendliness and how I do it. I'm quite reserved and I usually don't randomly show up or give gifts or something. I generally don't care about my own birthday and such, and therefore I'll also not think about those things for others. I try to detect when it does matter to people, and think of something to do or give, but honestly these expectations really stress me out.

I can definitely be a bit of an asshole sometimes though. I don't like people talking nonsense. In places where it matters, like work, want direct communication, with as little weaseling around as possible. No big words, no politics. So I will be that person that asks the "rude" and difficult question if it's necessary. I'm also quite stubborn, and require strong argumentation to actually be convinced of something. I've become more aware of this, so I tend to think twice nowadays to ensure that I'm really fighting a fight worth fighting and don't let myself get carried away too much with debating minor things.

Only to those deserving.

I'm not even a person.

I try to treat everyone as though I might be the first drop of kindness they have seen in some time, and my mantra when I find it difficult is "be kindness"- as in, choose the kindest option available to me at the time.

THAT SAID, I would not call myself a nice person, and if I was asked this I would elaborate that I try to be kind. I've known a handful of people who call themselves nice and I've been disappointed in their lack of patience and grace for others. Nice people don't need to say they're nice.

Honestly, dude. I would watch out for anyone who call themselves "nice".

My emotions and instincts can be assholes, but I choose to be a good person. So the answer really depends on how much you weigh my instantaneous reaction to an emotional situation vs after my rational brain kicks in and I remember that everything that angers or disappoints me wasn't done for the sole purpose of ruining my day. Oh and little stuff pisses me off way more than big stuff.

I wish I was a better person, but I think I'm alright most of the time.

i want and try to be but i don't succeed every day. i hate thinking about those times when i don't succeed, but being mindful of those times is a big part of what i can do to succeed more often.

I'm trying my best but I don't think so. I can be very insensitive without me knowing it.

I'm a mirror. if you're nice to me, I'm nice to you. if not, well...

A lot of people in this thread appear to be pretty hard on themselves. There seems to be a trend of people who want to be nice, are trying to be nice, but don't see themselves as nice. If that sounds like you, then I've got some good news for you:

You are a nice person.

If you're sincerely making the effort to be a better person then that's admirable. Self improvement is hard. Too often people are quick to judge based on the result of your actions rather than the effort that's put into them. To put it another way, we judge people by their actions but judge ourselves by our intentions.

Treat yourself to the niceness that you're trying to show to other people. You're doing the best you can. You're trying to be a nicer person which means you're trying to grow. From tiny seedlings grow mighty oaks, and the seedling shouldn't be shamed for starting its journey. Rather, it should be encouraged to keep growing.

If you find it difficult to be nice, but you're trying to be a nice person, I'd say that's a lot nicer than being the person who dismisses another for not being 'nice' enough.

no. but i try to forgive myself for not taking the opportunity. imo, it is a skill that forms through a lot of interactions. a form of rizz. and to me, it doesn't come as natural.

I'm anxious and avoidant and opportunistic. I try to make up for it when I feel able to.

75%

I'm not a nice person. I'm not a kind person. I'm not even a good person. I try to be all of those things and sometimes it feels like a struggle. I don't think I'm evil or a total asshole or a sociopath or something. I just think it a metric we have to constantly check-in on and adjust. I don't really trust people that think of themselves as nice, kind, or good. I don't think I really agree with those people about what it really means to be nice, kind, or good. For example, I do believe the song got it right, sometimes you do need to be cruel to be kind in the right measure.

I try my hardest to be a nice person, but I don't really think I am nice person

Depends on my mood. If I’m feeling good I’m usually pretty nice, but if I’m hangry then I get not-nice.

I don't love this question.

I spent a huge chunk of my life putting so much focus into being "nice" that some friends sremovedd about me being "a doormat".

Also? The word "nice" has so many soft negative connotations in 2024.

Subtext: if you're "nice" you're fundamentally un-interesting Subtext: if you're "nice" you're a push over and ripe to be taken advantage of.

GOOD person? MORAL person? OK.

Nice? Asking anyone to attribute this to themselves is a foot gun.

I am polite, most of the time. Wouldn't really consider myself nice tho.