A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.
Rules
This is a science community. We use the Dawkins definition of meme.
Just as the ducks at the park are free, there is also no legal requirement to answer the phone in particular way. Hit folks with a, "Ahoyhoy", "Howdy", "Whats good brother?", or for the more adventurous, "Ralphs Roadkill Cafe. You kill it, we grill it."
"Dave's pizza and abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce" is a particularly spicy one I've heard.
"You rape em, we scrape em"
(I do not condone this message)
I usually get people with: “Anons Morgue: you kill ‘em, we chill ‘em.”
In my family it was variations of "Hello, Joe's whatever. Insert rhyme here."
One of my favorites was "Joe's mortuary, you stab 'em we slab 'em."
My dad's go to is "Joe's Bar and Grill, this is Grill speaking". Sometimes he'll shake it up and answer as Bar instead
Moshi Moshi
I like the explanation that devious spirits cannot say this phrase and that's why it's used. Apparently it's also just a casual way of saying "I'm ready to talk" and was used by early telephone operators in Japan. It's most likely people just ended up copying the phrase from operators and aren't worried about being tricked by foxes.
Mosh moof
Fuck, I can't do it, they're right!
Better luck next time, nine-tails.
I like the explanation that devious spirits cannot say this phrase and that’s why it’s used
Evil spirits can not say the same word twice in a row. Foxes can not say "moshi". With "moshi moshi" you get a 2-for-1 special.
Japanese people answer their phone like that, everything is fine.
I answer my phone like that, I'm branded a weaboo for the rest of my life.
Fuck Edison.
Edison deserves hate for more than that
Edison was a cunt.
Edison was apparently quite successful, to the point where some languages other than English have a word that sounds like "hello" (for example, Russian "allo") which is used only when answering the phone.
Funny thing: "Hello" was actually not a common greeting until that point.
I've always been curious how people greeted each other before "hello". Did we just say "good day" and variations thereof?
Most English speakers actually used "wazzup" like those Budweiser commercials
So apparently the new shit spam evil calls can record the most minimal sample of your voice and then spoof it to your friends and family…
It almost seems worth saying nothing until ‘they’ say something, but then, what if they are a spoofed caller…
Oh shit. Just don’t use phones any more.
If you don't recognize the number, answer in a funny accent. That's how you defeat the voice harvesters.
ring ring Sombrero repair, como es?
ring ring [deep voice] Investigations.
ring ring HJECKIN?
ring ring [high pitched voice] OOIIO BO IMA SO GLAD YE RANG DOLLINGA
ring ring thinkyefurcullinpapajhonzzewoodyalacktatryourpapalopadoussoosageasperigusdoughdopoloostoday?
ring ring [monkey noises]
ring ring OOOOOHHHHHHHH COME ON EILEEN, I BEG OF YA PLEASE
ring ring [raspy voice] Jerome?
ring ring [dictation voice, right up against microphone] THANK YOU FOR FALLING KMART. PLEASE LET US KNOW WHAT YOU ARE CALLING ABOUT SO WE MAY DIRECT YOUR CALL
ring ring [moaning so intense it would make Sarah Grey blush]
ring ring WEAR MAH CHIL' SUPPORT AT JEROME
ring ring [play Gilbert Garfield directly into microphone]
Unless I am expecting a call, such as a delivery I just dont answer phone calls, if it's important they will call again, if it's less important they can message me like a normal human being.
Had to look it up, and the story is actually really interesting. Heres a great article from NPR
https://www.npr.org/sections/krulwich/2011/02/17/133785829/a-shockingly-short-history-of-hello
opens phone, "...moshi mo..." infinibonked for weebery
Ahoy, guys.
Be the change you want to see in this world, don't let Thomas Edison continue to shit on everything from his grave.
my go-to when im forced to answer unknown callers is "who is this?". then i disconnect if they dont answer my question
"Who dares to disturb my slumber?"
Let's compromise!
Alloy.
Or what we can agree on: HO. Omg Santa was right all along.
Imagine Edison trying to patent the "hello" greeting to get royalties every time someone answered the phone.
Then the incel fanbois defending Edison, insisting he invented the term 'hello".
I answer with "Yes?"
It gets straight to the point
What if you end up in a verbal contract
Then say "yes?*"
*This is a question asking what you are calling for and does not create joinder.
When I see a post like this, I see a new friend.
Fuck Edison you idea stealing cuck.
Thomas Edison kinda looks like my granduncle who was beating his wife.
Holy shit, the Captain had it right all along!
