Not The Onion
this post was submitted on 21 May 2024
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Stupid moose.
Sometimes they wander right through town and not only does no one do anything, some asshole hangs around them playing the harmonica.
All this needs is some poutine, someone playing hockey, and a bunch of apologizing..
You omitted maple syrup.
Sorry.
Some crokinole action and Nanaimo bars.
Was it the same moose?
Moose when he gets home to his wife and foals: You would not believe the day I'm having
Moose's wife: * hides the divorce pinecones *
I shed a tear for the star-crossed love of a lady moose and a wayward EMT.
A serial moosing.
You don't hit moose, moose hit you.
Were the meese alright?
Yes, apparently, they meesed.
I'm glad nobody got dead. This way we can make jokes without feeling like assholes. (do hope the critically injured person pulls through.)
So. is it Moosen? Meese? Mooses?
How do you know? They never said that moose had survived?
Often moose hit by a car have to be euthanized because their legs are broken (moose are tall af). The one hit by the ambulance would also likely be euthanized as it would have suffered internal injuries.
moose hit by a car have to be euthanized
... After retrieval from the front seat. Apparently they are the same height as the windshield.
Not really. What happens is the car hits them at 'knee' level and they slide up the hood into the front seat.
With compact vehicles they land on the roof, crushing the occupants.
I know this because I lived in NorthWestern Ontario for 15 years and knew of people who were severely injured or died in moose collisions.
Many much moosen.
without feeling assholes
Unless the right person asks nicely.
True
(And fixed it, awkward typo is awkward.)
I drive this road a lot. There are moose warning signs often in the park.
I avoid driving early in the morning or after sundown on this road for exactly this reason.
sorry but how is this world news
Edit: okay, apparently the sidebar says "no United States internal news" so implicitly this is fine. carry on
....and so on and so forth
A moose once bit my sister
....No realli!
My hovercraft is full of eels.
We apologise for the fault in the comments. Those responsible have been sacked.
Someone wasn't listening when they were supposed to learn the Golden Rules of EMS -
'You are there to be a part of the solution. Don't become part of the problem.'
And for those that are wondering about the rest of the rules:
'If you think you understand what is going on, you haven't been paying attention'
'PPE! All the time, every time!'
And finally - '..............into the recovery position - Always roll the patient towards you partner so you don't get puked on.'
Universal driver training needed I guess
a moose ate my cousin me and mooses got a feud
No-one seems.to be discussing the third moose.
OPP said the officers responding to the first collision had also just finished investigating another crash between a car and a moose, but there were no serious injuries in that incident.
Of all the things to ever happen, this is the thingest to happen ever