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submitted 2 days ago by The_Picard_Maneuver to c/lemmybewholesome
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[-] [email protected] 31 points 1 day ago

My youngest and I have been on our own since she was 8 months old. She's now 11. She has two older siblings and 4 nieces and nephews. She went to spend last summer with her sister and family and asked to stay through the next summer. That was July 16th 2023. Hardest decision I've made yet. But I couldn't find a reason to say no that wasn't selfish or self serving. She needed this time. Her mother hasn't been in her life and her 27 year old sister is the "mother figure" she clung to.

She will be home in a few weeks.

It's the moments like these I miss the most. Watching them in real-time discover themselves.

Anyway, y'all just take every fucking chance you get to sit still in moments like these. Enjoy them.

[-] StaySquared 3 points 15 hours ago

Anyway, y’all just take every fucking chance you get to sit still in moments like these. Enjoy them

Hear hear!

[-] JustZ 7 points 1 day ago

This hit hard.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

Every Wednesday I take my daughter to scouts. After scouts we take an unnecessarily long way home, playing music we like at each other and chatting. It's a highlight of my week too.

[-] StaySquared 22 points 1 day ago

Yooo... ever since having my first child, my daughter, it feels like time is fkin flying. Every single day at work I'm thinking to myself.. I want to be home with my family, I need to find a way out of wage slavery.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

After my son was born I would get up in the morning, usually before he and wife were awake, go to work. When I got home from work I would be lucky to see him for an hour before my wife put him to bed. Hardly ever saw him.

Then the pandemic happened, he just turned two at the time. I was then told to work from home. It was brilliant. I got to spend so much time with my son. I still work from home now but he's at school these days.

The pandemic was not kind to a lot of people but for me personally I have great memories because of it.

[-] JustZ 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Similar for me. I got let go from a good job right before the pandemic. Got some unemployment, then it kept getting extended because of the pandemic.

Got to spend everyday with my boy, and used the time to start my own business and things have never been better. It starts ripping by fast, though.

I always think, there was a time when my dad lifted me up and neither of us knew it was for the last time.

Sometimes I don't want to do kid stuff, don't have the energy or whatever. I try to picture myself 80 years old, gone back in time for one day with my young family, always give me the energy to keep it up.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Yeah that's exactly it. Sometimes I don't want to do family stuff. My wife plans things like going to the beach which I really don't like but I keep thinking about the memories both me and my son will get. My dad hardly did anything with me, I want to make sure I'm giving my son good memories.

[-] StaySquared 4 points 1 day ago

Damn, this is about the same scenario with me. But after being laid off in my last role, which was remote, I got stuck into a role where I have to be on-site. I'm still applying to remote roles, I can't settle for on-site work especially when 90% of my work can all be done through PC/Internet access.

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[-] fpslem 35 points 2 days ago

Well done, OP, for realizing it in the moment!

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

It's actually pretty easy. Look around you and be grateful for what you have and stop thinking about all the things you don't have.

If you're waking up on a rainy Monday and not hating your life, you're doing pretty well.

[-] SparrowRanjitScaur 4 points 1 day ago

I love rainy Mondays

[-] AA5B 2 points 1 day ago

How about waking up early on a rainy Monday for a conference call? But then the whole week is rescued by the coworker in India talk about the heat and lack of rain, and how late it is after the end of their workday

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[-] Rhynoplaz 8 points 1 day ago

I miss those days.

But children must become teenagers.

Nasty, ignorant, disrespectful teenagers.

Otherwise, we'd never let them leave and become adults.

[-] AA5B 6 points 1 day ago

Fun to joke about but activities with my teens are still my highlights. They don’t have to be the stereotype.

The real problem is their increasing absences, their approaching independence. It’s really frustrating fostering their independence, pulling back from taking care of them, dreading their impending “graduation” into adulthood.

On the other hand at my performance review, my manager spent most of the time encouraging to get back into dating now that kids are gradually leaving, trying to give me tips and encouragement, so I got that going for me

[-] Rhynoplaz 2 points 1 day ago

You're right.

I've got a pretty wide spread on my kids (step & bio). One in college, 3 teens and a ten year old.

Every phase has its ups and downs. Some days I wish the teenagers wanted to involve us more, and other days I wish the ten year old would just give me some space! 😂

[-] [email protected] 103 points 2 days ago

A lot of people have overlooked great things because they were waiting for something better to come along.

[-] Dasus 23 points 2 days ago

How dare you know my life better than I

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[-] [email protected] 65 points 2 days ago

My ancestors had a phrase that has become the popularized saying "today is a good day to die"

Hokahey

Crazyhorse being the badass he was, would yell it when charging into battle.

It's not really meant as "time to die" but more of I am ready! I am brave. I am strong. I love my family and they love me. If today is the day, so be it. I am ready for judgement!

This dad is practicing what it means.

[-] The_Picard_Maneuver 36 points 2 days ago

That's awesome. Sounds like your lineage is Klingon.

[-] [email protected] 35 points 2 days ago

The Lakota were the badasses that forced the US Army to surrender. The Dakota areas would be a much different place if they had the numbers to stop people from using the Oregon Trail.

So the Klingons using that phrase has always been a lovely thing

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[-] [email protected] 33 points 2 days ago

This kind of thing is seriously the best that life gets. Being able to recognize those moments and appreciate them is one of the best skills somebody can obtain. Mindfulness meditation and stoic philosophy have helped me immensely in being able to appreciate these types of situations for the real value that they have.

[-] The_Picard_Maneuver 23 points 2 days ago

As a father of a toddler, I try to appreciate every day and not take these types of moments for granted.

I'm very mindful of the fact that this time I'm living in right now is the period of my life that I'll revisit in my memories on repeat when I'm an old man.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 15 hours ago

What wise réalisation, wow... I hope it bears much nostalgic fruit for you to enjoy in your golden years.

I've been eating my past a bit too much lately. Got to remember to do like you, and make something for the future to eat too

[-] [email protected] 48 points 2 days ago

I do this with my daughter while waiting for her therapy appointment. We sit in the park across the street and eat a happy meal while chatting. I don't know if it's the therapy or the time together but she's so much more balanced since we started this I'm good paying for the therapy even if it's our conversations that are making that difference.

It's one of the highlights of my week, and I'm about to leave the office to go grab her for it.

[-] BonesOfTheMoon 22 points 2 days ago

I'm pretty sure both are helping. Good on you. Keep it up.

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[-] AA5B 24 points 2 days ago

My little one and I had a secret thrill together. He had a very early commitment on Saturday, so we’d go to Friendlys after. It was still pretty early so families would be there eating breakfast, while we were “those” people with an ice cream Sundae. All those kids would be so jealous thinking my little one got to have ice cream for breakfast, and I always got glares from exasperated parents. Little did they know we’d been up for hours, already had a good breakfast while it was still dark, and had already spent more time doing stuff together than many of them would the entire rest of the day

[-] [email protected] 34 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

The only time that exists is the present. Enjoy it!

Don't live in the past or the future, they existed and they will exist, but they don't exist. Only the present does.

[-] [email protected] 26 points 2 days ago

It's choir and a local sub shop for my me and my daughter.

Also, our constant argument about who is better, Alastor or Vox.

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago

I want this but I can't even take care of myself, let alone another human. :(

[-] JustZ 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Progress, not perfection.

I bet if you make a list of positive things about yourself, and undoubtedly there are many of them, fears you have overcome, goals you've reached, things you can be proud of that come naturally to you. Reach back to your childhood, perhaps, to your natural state, before the world ground you down.

Read the list to yourself two or three times every day. I promise you, it will light a spark of positivity that will burn for hours afterward. You'll feel your mind resolving thoughts more positively. Negative thinking will become less instinctive. Intrusive thoughts will fade.

For me the hardest part was shaking this idea my parents had engrained in me, that the consequence of hard work is being tired and even complaining. That's not true. The consequence of hard work is momentum. Hard work gets easier the more you do it.

You can either suffer the discomfort of hard work or the discomfort of regret, so it's worth it to make friends with doing things you don't want to do, because as far as I can tell it never stops.

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[-] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago

I spent my childhood sitting in the back of a car whilst my mum and her best mate would moan about men every night, or following them around to see if they were in the pub getting pissed so she could go and throw drinks at him.

One day we came home as we were being burgled, probably my people my step dad knew.

I would have taken ballet and ice cream, even as a dude.

[-] FlyingSquid 12 points 2 days ago

Not long enough.

Sigh.

[-] skyspydude1 17 points 2 days ago

My mom and I don't have a lot in common, and I think part of it is she sometimes worries she didn't spend enough time with me as a kid because she worked so much. Her taking me to music lessons and then hot cocoa afterwards are some of my coziest memories with her.

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this post was submitted on 15 May 2024
1425 points (99.2% liked)

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