this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
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[–] Dabundis 179 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Got so tired of casual sex that they created competitive ranked sex.

[–] [email protected] 68 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Ugh, I hate it when I'm just trying to have some casual, fun sex and some no-life loser starts yelling at me that she's actually Gold 3 at ranked sex in her main account before reporting me for "throwing"

[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Well honestly I have the skills of a diamond rank but the matchmaking keeps putting me in with silver rank teammates so I guess I'll never get out of (barely) gold

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm not usually this bad at ranked orgies, the season meta just sucks

[–] Zoomboingding 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

God I miss early Sex before oral and pronebone got nerfed to hell

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

😂 I feel you, oral was a big part of my range

[–] [email protected] 107 points 6 months ago (6 children)

What the fuck? Who wants to be competing in sex and romance? I mean that's the dating scene and a LOT of people hate that shit. Once you get into a relationship, who still wants to do that? Especially in a polyamory relationship: I thought one of the points of polyamory was that each individual was free to love each member in their own way and there wasn't any real competition and struggle for affection (or as little as possible).

Someone clearly thinks they are going to be at the "top" of their polycule and wants to lord it over people for some pathetic amount of power.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I mean like generally yes but some poly dynamics have (consensual) rules. You might have a triad that’s closed off to other members for example, who would all consider it cheating if any one member had a relationship they kept secret from the other two. It’s not always “free love” all the time like it’s the 60s again.

You also do have hierarchal poly dynamics. People with “primary” partners and such. But it’s not really a competition. I personally don’t vibe with that, but it can be done in a healthy way if everyone is up front about their expectations.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I was poly for years and my ex and I designated each other as primary just to help ensure our priorities matched. We'd seen couples that just "free loved" it and it frequently led to a lot of drama and hurt feelings.

One person "demoted" her fiance to just a side relationship because she was encouraging her boyfriends to be competitive. It was gross. The idea of making love or sexuality a competition is just gross. These people are gross.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

I have had times where people treat “non-hierarchical” as “you should immediately consider me equal to your other partners”. When no, trust takes time and effort to grow. In that sense, the partner that I live with does have some level of primacy over my other partners, because I trust her enough to build a home together. However we don’t share a room, we have our own spaces, and we schedule sleepovers just the same as I would with any other partner.

One person "demoted" her fiance to just a side relationship because she was encouraging her boyfriends to be competitive. It was gross. The idea of making love or sexuality a competition is just gross. These people are gross.

That is indeed ridiculously gross. She completely missed the memo on the “ethical” part of “ethical non-monogamy”. I think I would agonise for weeks if I was thinking about making the decision to no longer live with my nestmate. Months if I was planning on moving straight in with a different partner. I would need to figure out how to communicate that it wasn’t due to any transgressions on their part, that it wasn’t a punishment. That I just, didn’t feel that living together was right for our relationship or either of us as individuals. Especially if the end goal was to continue to be together. I can’t imagine being so careless with someone’s emotions like that.

[–] captainlezbian 2 points 6 months ago

Yeah. I loved the idea of non hierarchical poly early on, but there’s a resounding practicality in my relationship hierarchy. My wife comes first. We live together and are married, of course she does.

It’s so disgusting to make this a competition when it should just be a cooperative pursuit of happiness

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago

star trek mirror universe?

[–] weariedfae 15 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I have no idea who that woman is or anything about her blog. But if I read that comment alone I would asume it's facetious. It sounds like a joke and not serious. If they were serious then... wow that's fucked up.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 months ago

She was the one running the actual books for FTX cryptocurrency exchange. All the crimes that Sam Bankman-Fried did, she was the one who made sure they actually happened.

[–] ChicoSuave 23 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Caroline Ellison was absolutely serious about competitive, ranked sex. There is no metric in which that woman would ever get out of Bronze.

[–] HessiaNerd 8 points 6 months ago

I don't know. Geeky out in the world and absolutely insane in the bedroom... Kinda works for me.

Shit person, yeah. I'm not actually into it, but purely theoretically, it could work.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

She was openly into sexism and meritocracy. Kinda stunned because she probably would have blended right into any LARP event until she opened her mouth.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago

Hmm someone clearly isn’t concerned about THEIR ranking takes out tiny notebook, makes a small adjustment to a number 😜

[–] gmtom 12 points 6 months ago

Sounds like something a Bronze would say. skill issue.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

"you know what the problem with polyamory is? not enough jealousy possessiveness or hierarchy. or eugenics."

[–] Nobody 51 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Techbros have gotten so dogmatic and up their own asses that they're becoming Mormons.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (4 children)

But have tech bros donated million$ to invalidate my marriage, I ask

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

fuck I knew that shit always creeper me out.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

If you're LGBTQ+, very likely. There's some pretty awful people with a lot of money in The Valley.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

yeah, even the gay ones.

also wrote the algorithms that made all young men and everyone's grandparents Nazis.

then just made it worse when people pointed it out.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

If you believe the point of marriage is to reproduce, then tech bros investing in pointless energy usage that makes the planet unsuitable for future generations sort of invalidates your marriage.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Ah, ranked Polyamory. Are they going to add ELO in the next update? Seasonal resets, perhaps?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

C O M P E T I T I V E S E X

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Elo is not an acronym, so you don't need to put it in all-caps.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Electric Light Orchestra. Jeff Lynne has entered the relationship.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

And like with League of Legends, I bet SBF was hardstuck in bronze.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 1 points 6 months ago

Google Calendar DLCs

[–] psmgx 28 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

This. Normies can’t understand the thrill of pinning the weasel. Night spent chasing an over amphetamined Caroline around the bean bag forts. Her squealing and gibbering, pouring sweat and on the verge of seizing. Your friends build up an intoxicating, delerious state with Talmudic chantings at the sidelines, hitting the Caroline-toy with brooms if she tries to escape. Sam would be giggling and laughing as the waves of methamphetamine pleasure seem to harmonize with the droning herbrew verses. He runs through the bean bag maze fat and portly, with his viagra powered penis a driving rod for the weasel. Sweat gushing down his face around his unfocused eyes he laughs and chortles until he gasps “Found you!” . The Mathweasel screeches defensively but Wankman Bankman is upon her in seconds. His penis thrusting blindly into her flank, leg, stomach and ribs unconcerned about anything but the motion. Eventually serendipity finds her mouth and the Cocktube Rodent is placated, suckling contently on Bankman’s dehydrated dick.

[–] NotBillMurray 22 points 6 months ago

You know, thinking about it I feel like literacy might be overrated.

[–] Zoomboingding 16 points 6 months ago

I Have Eyes And I Must Not

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (2 children)

You expect crypto junkies to be sane? You expect fintech "entrepreneurs" to be sane? You expect those who idolize Silicone Valley to be sane?

They don't represent ingenuity. They don't represent extremists. They don't even represent the NSFW Tumblr community. No, they represent the product of the most negligent parenting, being raised in an environment where they can say whatever they want and get whatever they want. They are a blight upon our society and no tears should be wept for them as they rot their existence away in the darkest, dankest prison imaginable with not even a slither of sunlight to grace their forsaken souls.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

There, there

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

hey now. prisons are unethical.

guillotines are not.

[–] NeptuneOrbit 17 points 6 months ago

Do they Jack Welch and dump the lowest performer every quarter?

[–] T156 16 points 6 months ago

They basically reinvented concubinal ranked competitive polyamoury.

[–] Sanctus 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This is just the Dark Eldar with less body horror

[–] Gradually_Adjusting 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This site needs more people. It should not take 5 hours for someone to respond to this comment with a joke about having to see Sam Bankman Fried naked.

[–] Sanctus 3 points 6 months ago

He strikes me as the type that is largely unkept. Probably makes his chosen ones battle it out under the shade of a large flakey bush.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

They wanted a vampire community.

[–] captainlezbian 6 points 6 months ago

So is this the opposite of my IWW-ass polycule?

I’m fine with that

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Breaking: Tech people have insane sexual interests. More at 8.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Said ugly people

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Dude watched Apothecary Diaries and said "I want exactly that please."