this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2024
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[–] Soup 83 points 7 months ago

Magnets also don’t breathe. Go on, Amalaha, cease thine respirations as the magnets have so commanded.

[–] turbowafflz 65 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Except the magnets are the same just in different orientations, so he's really just proven that gay couples need to have one of them be upside down

[–] [email protected] 33 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

As the Lord intended

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[–] MisterNeon 45 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I forgot the year 2013 existed.

[–] afraid_of_zombies 3 points 7 months ago

It was alright. My wife was pregnant, I was still teasing someone I knew about how worked up they had been about the Mayan thing, joined a different D&D table, oh and something about Ebola

[–] MeanEYE 42 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Wait until they find out how magnets are made and that you can reverse poles. That will be a discovery.

[–] Madison420 21 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Or the fact that most magnets have two poles and a magnet with one pole is an abboration gained by extreme forces applied against it.

[–] MeanEYE 6 points 7 months ago

Oh even better. :) Somehow I missed that obvious point.

[–] Sylvartas 4 points 7 months ago

I like how knowing this kinda fixes the extremely bad initial analogy

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Magnets are obviously magical items imbued by God with their magical properties at the time of creation exactly 2044 years ago.

[–] DaddleDew 31 points 7 months ago (1 children)

He beat to the punch his rival who was trying to do the same with velcro strips.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

And earlier tests and research with sticky tape

[–] DaddleDew 3 points 7 months ago

They tried with double sided tape first but they dismissed the results because it didn't support the conclusion they wanted to make.

[–] afraid_of_zombies 28 points 7 months ago

Our attention has been drawn to a publication containing research purportedly written by one of the Part Time Postgraduate Diploma Students in the Department of Chemical Engineering, University of Lagos – Stanley Amalaha, titled “Science of Gay Marriage” in THISDAY Newspapers of 5th September, 2013 and on several blogs on the Internet.

The University of Lagos writes to dissociate itself in its entirety from the actions, publications and research of this individual. We further state, for the avoidance of doubt, that his publication has nothing to do with his programme and has no relationship to his studentship of the University. Indeed our postgraduate diploma students ordinarily only take conversion courses to improve their capability for the chosen specialization and do not undertake research. The case of the writer who has a background in Education (Chemistry) is not different.

Although the University is a market place of different views and ideas, its platform should not be used for the propagation of ill-conceived, unsubstantiated and ill-digested opinions that have no basis in rigorous empirical research. The University of Lagos, which stands for excellence in teaching and research, cannot and should not be associated with such puerile and pseudo-scientific postulations.

The University reaffirms its mission, which is to be a top-class institution for the pursuit of excellence in knowledge through learning and research as well as in character and service to humanity.

-Toyin Adebule, Deputy Registrar

[–] disguy_ovahea 27 points 7 months ago

Successfully explain this to a penguin and you have completed one science.

[–] Agent641 24 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Guys I read the peer reviewed paper and... it checks out.

We are cancelling homosexuality immediately. Tough call I know but you can't deny solid science.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver 18 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

"Look my brother’s gay. Well, not anymore, but you know.”

Lol, great read

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago

This is why head on automotive collisions are also impossible.

[–] FMT99 17 points 7 months ago

You can't argue with an erlenmeyer full of magnetism folks. Science wins.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The argument ignores Hume's guillotine in the weirdest appeal to nature I've ever seen in my entire life.

[–] Sakychu 5 points 7 months ago (2 children)

That's where when you cut a magnet in half both have a north and south pole?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Iirc, Hume's guillotine states essentially that a statement of what should be cannot be derived from any system of statements only about what is. That is to say, morality cannot be derived only from reality. Basically, you need to have a set of axioms (which in this context are called "ethical systems") in order to reduce questions of morality to questions of fact.

Apologies for any errors I am only half-awake.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

When translating this to the animal realm it's pretty clear what part of the male to cut in half, but what part of the female specimen would we cut?

[–] MeaanBeaan 15 points 7 months ago

We need more testing. Whip your dick out. Let's see if our tips can touch.

[–] AnalogyAddict 14 points 7 months ago

That is called a poorly formed analogy. Not proof, dipstick.

[–] Shadowedcross 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I think somebody needs to tell him people are not, in fact, magnets

[–] RampantParanoia2365 4 points 7 months ago

Are you sure? All these chick magnets I've heard about seem to support his conclusion.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

Okay, I am convinced: from now on I am completely against the marriage of same pole magnets!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Magnets - how do they work?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

If you drop them in water? Boom. No more magnets.

[–] homesweethomeMrL 2 points 7 months ago

Fucking magnets

[–] antidote101 9 points 7 months ago

You can produce magnetic surfaces of mixed polarity, with some parts being positive and others negative.

So good that's good news for trans, bi, and polyamorous people.

[–] BabyVi 7 points 7 months ago

Water, fire, air and dirt Fucking magnets, how do they work? And I don't wanna talk to a scientist Y'all motherfuckers lying, and getting me pissed.

[–] AA5B 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Come on, everyone who’s had to make sense of the “right hand rule”, knows magnetism is queer. Magnetism strictly rules out straight people

Or maybe, anyone who’s ever tried to lay two bar magnets together knows that never works. The only way is to lay in opposite directions, strictly proving that “69” is the only position.

[–] KISSmyOSFeddit 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

He's kinda cute though, and I'm a man – checkmate, science!

[–] Everythingispenguins 6 points 7 months ago

He looks kind of gay. No straight scientist is going to have the fashion sense to do a red on white double lapel and see those cuffs. No straight man could pull cuffs like he does.

[–] ichbinjasokreativ 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

African anti-gay 'science' is always ultra funny

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Sadly it also is a cause of very real human suffering and death on very real people.

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[–] CrowAirbrush 5 points 7 months ago

Bruh i ain't no magnet, weirdo.

[–] RampantParanoia2365 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Exhibit A: The famed "chick magnet".

mic drop

[–] Shelbyeileen 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Man, wait till they find out that animals are often gay...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

It makes sense. Animals don't know anything about magnets.

[–] technically_creative 3 points 7 months ago

What about gravity?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Wow just WOW some people still can suprise me i guess .

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver 4 points 7 months ago

Clearly you must be wow'ed by the impressive quality of research coming out of the University of Lagos.

[–] hahattpro 2 points 3 months ago (3 children)
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