this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 174 points 8 months ago (11 children)

Thats gotta be the worst one i have seen so far wow. Whats the opposite of a punchline?

[–] Blue_Morpho 190 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I think it's a reference to cyanide smelling like almonds. In particular I remember a Jodi Foster movie The little Girl who lives down the Lane where Jodi poisons a rapist. He says, "It tastes like almonds." as he drinks the tea. Jodi Foster says, "It's the almond extract." knowing it's the cyanide.

So the punchline is setup to be something about poison but gets subverted by the hand grenade.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

Theeeere u gooo. And now i look stupid :D Thank you for enlightening us!

Found the clip for anyone interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bds6OYX85gA

Tiny detail, its "the almond cookies"

[–] donio 5 points 8 months ago (2 children)

And Downfall has a scene for the second half of the joke. (Warning, while it's not graphic you may not want the scene in your head)

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

AL-mond cookies.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Oh I got the cyanide reference. Still sucks as a two-sentence horror. Would better suit the plethora of antijoke subs.

[–] TheTetrapod 7 points 8 months ago

It reminds me of all the dumbass TSH posts that only exist to explain Reddit fun facts, like rabies causing hydrophobia.

[–] [email protected] 73 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It's an anti-joke. I love it.

[–] voracitude 25 points 8 months ago

For real, this is gold. Read in Norm Macdonald's voice for maximum comedic effect.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

Two go through a tunnel. Says the third to the fourth: You, I think we're five. Says the sixth: I don't get it.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Cyanide smells (and maybe tastes?) like almonds. For people aware of this there is a subversion of expectation. It isn't particularly good joke but taken satirically it's alright.

[–] greedytacothief 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Smells like bitter almonds, which smell like bleach.

https://youtu.be/WYagO-nup6c?si=WdDJy3PP1yDw8wAl. (I really hope I'm remembering the contents of this video correctly, because if I wasn't, that would be embarrassing, but I don't have the time to check right now)

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

What's the purpose of the grenade then? He poisoned her, then blew up with a grenade. Why?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

There was no poison. You're supposed to think she's poisoned, but he meant the grenade.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I have tasted it

it smells like it but it tastes like lye without the sodium taste

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

but what does lye taste like?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

salty cyanide duh

[–] [email protected] 42 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's called an anti-joke and I found it funny. It was obviously set up that way by the poster.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Nah turns out its actually a very smart joke, see Blue_Morpho's reply and my follow up.

[–] DogWater 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Anti jokes are capable of being smart. Lmao

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Usually anti jokes are funny due to a lack of punchline, but this joke does actually have a functioning punchline and subversion of expectation. It just doesnt work as well if you dont get that the almond bit is about poison.

[–] Potatos_are_not_friends 29 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Reminds me of the worst opening line contest.

https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

2023s winner:

She was a beautiful woman; more specifically she was the kind of beautiful woman who had an hourlong skincare routine that made her look either ethereal or like a glazed donut, depending on how attracted to her you were.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago

I unironically like this

[–] [email protected] 28 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)
[–] Zoomboingding 8 points 8 months ago

How are you on 196 and unfamiliar with shitposts

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

naw this is gold

[–] Frozengyro 5 points 8 months ago

It's like the Bulwer-Lytton (writer known for terrible cliche writing, who people intentionally mimic in jest) of two sentence horror.

[–] LucasWaffyWaf 2 points 8 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

thank you :)

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[–] EdibleFriend 2 points 8 months ago

I would say the opposite of a punchline is throwing a grenade at a motherfucker

[–] [email protected] 69 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Why would he slide the pin across the floor? That’s the real horror.

[–] Cris_Color 30 points 8 months ago

To advertise to her he's gonna blow himself up. She's already got the cyanide, he's still gotta make a statement

[–] Thcdenton 66 points 8 months ago (1 children)

2 second horror is gonna be a gold mine when ai movie generators drop

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Isn't there or wasn't there a TV series based on Two Sentence Horror already?

[–] DogWater 27 points 8 months ago (3 children)

For the people who don't know cyanide supposedly smells or tastes like almonds.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

They smell like bitter almonds, which smell very different than the sweet almonds most people are used to. https://youtu.be/WYagO-nup6c?si=E_O44PHdOrSZanX3

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://piped.video/WYagO-nup6c?si=E_O44PHdOrSZanX3

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] Baalf 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I thought it was arsenic.

[–] BreadOven 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

HCN smells like ~~burnt~~ almonds. Not sure about the taste.

Edit: bitter, not burnt.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 8 months ago

One of the best 2 sentence horror stories i've read

[–] BreadOven 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Plot twist, his wife was a creature.

[–] Zoomboingding 3 points 8 months ago
[–] Baalf 10 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Doesn't arsenic supposedly taste like almond?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (3 children)

No, it's cyanide. Bitter almond, specifically. Arsenic has no flavor to humans.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I think it's cyanide but honestly I've never checked.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Actually I have both, let me go check it real quick.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Dude, it's been an hour already, are you going to let us know or ... Oh.

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