this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

As you should op, as a rightful punishment for tailgating. However please aim for the nearest tree so you dont endanger other drivers.

[–] Wogi 9 points 8 months ago (3 children)

It's possible to see these at a stop light though

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

No! Not the poor tree! Aim for the nearest rich person instead

[–] Sterile_Technique 61 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (3 children)

I'm with the furry on this one. Fuck tailgaters.

I'll personally just slow down until they either get the message and back off, or get annoyed enough to pass. Or if I see a piece of debris ahead, maintain speed until the VERY last second, then swerve to avoid it - they won't have time to react, and will run it over. I got some asshole to run full speed into a chunk of some other car's bumper doing that, and I gotta say it was the best high I've ever had!

*above does not apply to slow drivers camping in the fast lane. If that's you, you're the asshole.

[–] Wogi 25 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Ah yes, combating road rage with road rage. As is tradition

[–] Sterile_Technique 23 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (4 children)

To be clear, I don't ever break check, as that's dangerous as fuck - I'll just drop a mph every few seconds until they fuck off. Idk if I'd call that rage... my safety is compromised by them riding that close to me, so finding ways to get them off is a defensive move. I also don't want to be the one to change lanes, since collisions tend to happen during transitions, so that'd just be switching from one unsafe situation to another. If I tactically annoy the other driver until they move, then it ends the risk to me without increasing the odds of hitting someone or something else... and since they're already putting my safety at risk, I don't really give a damn about theirs.

As for the debris situation, yeah I got nothing - that was rage, lol. But damn did it feel good! Thankfully there's not enough shit on the road to make that a go-to option, but I'll definitely scope the road out ahead juuust to be sure before starting the slow-down thing. Cuz, and I can't overstate this: fuck tailgaters.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I’ve had another driver brandish a gun at me for doing that. Be safe out there! Making a point isn’t worth your life.

People be crazy.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Unless you live in a country with gun control. Then you can be slightly more passive aggressive as long as you're not creating an unsafe driving scenario.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Even with some gun control, you never know if the asshole is a cop on break. Fuckers love to carry and threaten others with weapons and will shoot to prove their point (at least in Brazil)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Luckily not all cops in other countries start working after a 2 week course. In Finland, for example, it's a 3 year school, comparable to a bachelor's degree.

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[–] NegativeInf 6 points 8 months ago

I too employ the artful tactics of passive aggressive driving. It works. Hopefully it works well enough that people learn long term.

[–] sheogorath 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Isn't brake checking just pressing on your brakes slightly to turn on your braking lights but not engage braking? So you're not actually braking. I did it several times when someone's tailgating really close and it's pretty funny to see them immediately slow down. Usually after a couple of times of doing it they got the memo and increased their distance.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

A "brake check" in the context of road rage isn't checking your own brake lights, it's checking the brakes of the person following you.

You slam on your brakes, forcing them to slam on their brakes even harder, scaring and angering the trailing car.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Okay I don't get the not switching lanes part, maybe I don't drive enough. Why are people tailgating when there are multiple lanes, unless you're in the leftmost lane for too long?

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[–] dingus 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

One time I was driving on some long ass backwoods country road in the rain. I was making like a 12 hour drive to get home, so it's not like my destination was anywhere near close.

It was one of those roads where there was one lane on either side divided by a dotted yellow line. You were allowed to pass and visibility was clear. There was almost no traffic coming in the other direction, meaning abundant opportunities to pass.

Some asshat decided to ride my ass for *miles and miles and miles in the rain. I was going a decent speed too...a bit above the marked limit. This fucker both pissed me off and stressed me the fuck out. I tried the letting off the gas technique which usually makes dickholes go around, but nope. He continued to tailgate me for miles and miles no matter if I was going 10 mph above the speed limit or 20 mph below. Visibility on this road was fantastic and no one was coming in the other direction for miles and miles and miles.

I got so frustrated at this dangerous asshat that I straight up eventually pulled off the side of the road and stopped. He finally passed me and didn't end up coming after me with a weapon or anything thank fuck. I don't know if this chode was just too stupid to pass or what.

[–] Sterile_Technique 11 points 8 months ago

I don’t know if this chode was just too stupid to pass or what.

That would be my guess. Sounds like the dude didn't even know that was an option lol.

For those backroads type one-lane-each-direction situations, I'll just pull way over and slow down to a crawl. Otherwise, even if the other driver isn't trying to be an asshole and is maintaining a decent distance, I still don't want their headlights shining into my mirrors for miles, so I'll be pretty extra about ushering them infront of me.

Bonus: that puts them on deer duty :P

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[–] swag_money 45 points 8 months ago (4 children)

suicide by oncoming traffic is such a dick move. you don't have the right to endanger other lives just because you're suicidal.

if you want to kill yourself, do it right. go to Michael's™ and buy a tank of helium to asphyxiate yourself.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Respectfully, please do not do this. Helium is a non-renewable resource. Once lost to the atmosphere it's gone for good. Nitrogen on the other hand makes up 78% of the atmosphere and is equally effective.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Bro really just said "We can't replace helium, unlike you, pick a different suicide option"

[–] problematicPanther 5 points 8 months ago

but he's got a point though.

[–] swag_money 5 points 8 months ago

ah good point. so instead, go to your local tire shop and fill some balloons with nitrogen :p

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Just go to jupiter and harvest more

[–] mke 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Respectfully, the dead need not care about loss of non-renewable resources.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Aint that mentality kind of why climate change is a thing, the oil barons will be dead when rest of humanity has to suffer from their actions

[–] mke 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I will attempt an oddly serious answer, unlike my previous comment, since I feel this deserves one.

Sort of, and technically correct. Both the suicidal and the oil baron have no reason to care what happens after they're dead. But I don't know if that's relevant here.

Powerful people ruining the world do so because of incentives and... because they can. The only thing that will stop them and those that come after is meaningful societal change. Convincing people to participate in bringing about this change is important too, make no mistake, but it's because of what they can achieve united. It's voting, protesting, and building a world where the powerful can't screw over the world and everyone in it.

Hoping a change in culture alone will save the world is useless, because the rich and powerful will not follow that new culture. There's no trickle-up morals, and telling suicidal people they should be mindful of how they die (if serious) is barking up the wrong tree. It won't stop the oil baron from continuing to pollute more than everyone in this thread combined, nor will it make a meaningful difference even should the person follow your advice, because it's a drop in the bucket---and maybe the last one they'll ever make.

Trying to put it shortly, my point is that mentality is only the start. The world is broken (e.g. climate change is a thing), not just because of mentality, but because those high above do all in their power to stay there and shape the world in ways that suit them. Changing people's mentality is good, but is "use hydrogen instead of helium" really the last thing a suicidal person should have to hear from you?

Of course, this is a meme community in the end, so apologies if this comment was unnecessary because no one is seriously saying that. But anyone who thinks so should also be able to read my previous comment in its intended humor as well.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Helium gets replaced by radiation. You can do your part by breathing in radon. I love helping science!

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[–] Red_October 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Hey, Helium is too valuable to waste like that! A toaster in the bathtub will do just fine.

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[–] tourist 6 points 8 months ago

this is an ad 😡

[–] boatsnhos931 4 points 8 months ago

It no work, they dilute it now 🙂

[–] [email protected] 37 points 8 months ago (3 children)

... is your werewolf girlfriend single?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

We call ourselves leaffers, and the costumes are expensive. And no, you cant use that word, only we can. And yes, its a sex thing.

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[–] Mr_Dr_Oink 30 points 8 months ago

"Dont tailgate me, i'll cum" ruined me. I can't even...

Im in work, just laughing. People are looking at me.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 8 months ago

Sounds like you're just jealous they realise what turn them on...

[–] [email protected] 27 points 8 months ago

Maybe your werewolf gf wouldn't ride your ass if you stopped calling her a hairy bitch

[–] jimnobu 19 points 8 months ago

KEEP HONKING; I’M DISSOCIATING

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago

So the stickers work

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Isn't that just normal merging?

[–] wreckedcarzz 24 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Closer, closer, oooh, ohhhhh, ohhh fuck yeah I'm so cl- airbags deploy

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

username checks out

[–] scarilog 6 points 8 months ago

The car has had enough of yo shit

[–] NABDad 8 points 8 months ago

The word, "oncoming", is the critical piece I believe you may have missed.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Normal for you maybe

[–] Starkstruck 7 points 8 months ago

I'm no prude, but having blatantly nsfw stuff like this where it'd be seen by everyone has always rubbed me the wrong way. Like c'mon kids don't need to see this.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Guess they don't travel with spare underwear.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Because after the 30th ejaculation in a 15 minute drive, even the most well hydrated among us will be gasping.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Better than how my city handles a merge lane... they just stop, full on stop on both the merge lane AND the left lane, if they are feeling spicey the passing lane might come to a stop too because... reasons? Best of all is when they are slowing right down to merge in light traffic but they see you coming up the left lane so they take the lane immediately and just, not speed up.

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