It's funny that the only reason I understood modern speech of an ancient story is because I already knew the ancient story.
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Rosetta_Stone.jpg
Found the vegan!
I'm vegan btw
(with rizz)
I am quite sure I have cancer meow.
More, please. I like where this is going, would totes sub!
I don't remember if he's on TikTok or YouTube or whatever but a dude wrote a book called the gospel by gen z that's basically all just this. This might even be from that book lol
Huh... is this how dogma started?
and Eve let him cook, though he had not the ingredients.
Biggest take away here. You come across a snake (with rizz), and he doesnβt even have the ingredients? You donβt let him cook.
I'm excited for the anon green text version of this
be me
create a universe bc bored
make up a guy to live in it, call it βadamβ
adam looks a bit lonely, decide to give it friends
make up a whole bunch of different guys, call them βanimalsβ
adam doesnβt hang out with any of them??????
wtf.jpg
break off one of adamβs ribs
make it into a new guy, call it βeveβ
they immediately start fucking each other
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before i go i tell them not to eat the fruit that makes you smart
the next day i see adam and eve with animal parts draped over them???
ask them βwhat the fuck is thatβ they say βclothesβ
???????
they say they put the animal parts on themselves to not be naked
how the fuck do they know what being naked is. they were supposed to be dumb as fuck when i made them
obviously they ate the fruit that makes them smart
tell them to gtfo
What the fuck anons??? The guys I made literally did the opposite of what I told them to do
MF really installed the 'free will' module without RTFM
It's because you invoked the story trope of the great proscription. Whether its Bluebeard or The Goon Fairy or the Wyrd Sisters or King Oberon Himself, if he says to the hero don't mess with the forbidden room, you know he's going to pick the lock by page ten.
Zeus tells Prometheus not to give man fire because they're clever and will turn fire into big science. But the clay men are cold in winter, so Prometheus gives them fire.
And the Olympians engineer Pandora, sleek and curvy, but give her curiosity and a jar full of evil shit. Don't open the jar, they say, knowing full well how long that seal will last.
If God wants us to not open the vault of doom, He puts it at the bottom of the sea, or on Diamos, the moon of Mars. He forces us to work for it. He doesn't stack a verboten tree with yummy fruit next to us when were feeling peckish.
It's basically the R34 and R35 of reality. Everything has happened. If it hasn't happened yet, it will happen.
Chekov's gun
Thank you
Yep it's begun, my mind wouldn't let me read more than halfway. I've got the old
I think I felt my sanity dropping with each line.
what is up my mammals?
All of a sudden Iβm angry. Whatβs that all about?
What is up my mammal?
~~amen~~ Respect
Could the bible be recreated entirely in emoji? π€π€π€π€π€
π§π§ββπ³π³π³πππ€π€«π€€π²π΅β‘βππππ
Can you not?
The real cap is that Eve was God and taking the L was the 'giving out free will' maneuver to begin with.