this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] AngryCommieKender 110 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Why don't they have Wi-Fi in Church?

!They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually does something!<

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[–] [email protected] 77 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

Except Panera’s not even in the same league when it comes to completely unnecessary deaths… religion/ church has millennia & millions up on Panera.

Edit: Panera also has far less sweaty-palmed, Father Feelgood kiddie-diddling accusations as well.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago

Panera's doing their best! It's hard to compete when the other guy has a head start that spans basically all of recorded history

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

Let them cook

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[–] afraid_of_zombies 41 points 11 months ago

You know what? That death lemonade isnt going to rape your kid so it is still better than church.

[–] TheJims 39 points 11 months ago

Ok but I’m still not going to church

[–] cosmicrose 38 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I get a tasty lemonade, AND I get to die??? Sign me up!!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

I haven't tried it, but I heard it's not actually that great. Though that one person who died had three of them, so what do I know

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Well, you get to die anyways, so that's lemonade && 1 = lemonade

[–] Erasmus 36 points 11 months ago (3 children)

How many people have died because of organized religion vs. Panera charged lemonade.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

The entire world+ vs like, 3?

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (26 children)

Hi there, just dropping in to say that caffeine is more dangerous than cannabis

flies away

Edit:

Anti-weed Puritans trying to find ways weed is actually harmful

Harry J. Anslinger looking up from hell

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago

Meth is more dangerous than caffeine

shoots away

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago (1 children)

To be fair, the church had killed more people than literally anything.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Mosquitoes would probably beat them, but they've had a hefty head start. The church are aware of this, of course, which is why they double down on the paedophilia to catch up.

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[–] son_named_bort 30 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I don't blame people for not going to church. They don't even give you wine anymore, just grape juice. Jesus drank wine, why can't I?

[–] Baphomet_The_Blasphemer 14 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I thought Jesus was wine or something like that? I've never participated in Christianity's cannibalistic rituals though, so I'm sure I'm a bit confused.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

the wine only becomes Jesus' blood in your tummy unless you have an operation or autopsy then it turns back into wine just in the nick of time, apparently.

[–] HowdWeGetHereAnyways 7 points 11 months ago

It's only cannibalism if you believe you are the same as God.

Arise, God-drinkers.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

For mormons it's just water :(

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Mormons had to mix mayonnaise into their ketchup when it first got introduced to Utah, because ketchup was too spicy. Mormons are bitches.

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[–] FlyingSquid 29 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Wogi 29 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No no, let's hear the lemonade out

[–] FlyingSquid 14 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Okay, but if Panera starts playing bad rock songs in praise of their lemonade, I'm leaving.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Its more likely than you think. Waffle house has a music label.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago

So I either have to die from needlessly over caffeinated soft drinks or deliver my own son to a molestation orgy club? What fucked up kind of choice is that?!

[–] Viking_Hippie 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)

To be fair though, church is many times more deadly and 0% delicious 🤷

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

Fuck knows what church has got to do with anything.

[–] byroon 16 points 11 months ago

I must be out of the loop. What's church?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago

Random caffeine overdoses are preferable to repeated genocide…

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Don't threaten me with a good time Panera

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[–] ComicalMayhem 11 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (29 children)

Panera has been selling some sort of lemonade with a ton of caffeine, and there have been a couple of news stories recently about it killing people.

It sounds like people aren't aware that "charged lemonade" has caffeine at all when they order it. Or maybe they realize it but aren't expecting 260-390mg.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Holy fuck where has this lemonade been my whole life???!?!?!

If you never see me post again, tell my mom I loved her!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (3 children)

"This lemonade has been actively killing people with caffeine overdose"

@rug_burn : man I gotta get me some of this stuff

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Based low caffeine tolerance

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Fck. That seems like it's way more than your typical energy drink that's off the charts too.

I would love to know how that product development meeting went. "Hey people, we have this idea, think lemonade and coffee, but like 10 cups of coffee in a single lemonade.

It's like being kicked in the chest by a horse. It could kill some people and open us up to litigation, but man are the sales going to be way up there too!"

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

For context, the energy drink sitting next to me has 160mg of caffeine.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

For anyone concerned about their beverages. Following is a table of Recommended maximum daily intake of caffeine according to different age groups & categories: https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/food-nutrition/food-safety/food-additives/caffeine-foods.html

FDA's recommendations: https://www.fda.gov/consumers/consumer-updates/spilling-beans-how-much-caffeine-too-much

For measure: 8 oz (227 g) of Coffee has 80-100 mg of caffeine or 35-45 mg of Caffeine per 100 g of Coffee. (Average, numbers may vary accordingly.)

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

I'LL TAKE 5

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Reminds me of this, and why you can't easily get powdered caffeine anymore;

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/powdered-caffeine-death-fda-legal-action/

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