this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2023
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Centrist take: If you can't get a decent sear on a gas stove you need to learn how to cook.

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[–] [email protected] 155 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I get this is satire, but how the fuck do you even cook a steak that bad. Is it boiled?

[–] sulgoth 67 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Look up milk steak, it's a delicacy and it looks a bit like that.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It better come with a side of jellybeans.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

It better come with a side of jellybeans.

Raw.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is it better than rum ham?

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The Frankish Emperor Charlemagne, later in life, suffered from health problems from eating too much meat. His physicians told him that he should switch from roasted to boiled meat, which he chafed at. Having never boiled meat because I don't eat much meat, I assumed it was royalty having Royalty Problems™.

Looking at that, if it's a result of boiling, I'm starting to think instead that was cruel and unusual punishment by his doctors.

[–] Vorticity 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As someone who eats steak on rare occasion, if I was told I had to boil my steak from now on I would not be eating steak anymore. Boiled steak with no seat on the outside sounds awful.

[–] Feyr 15 points 1 year ago

I, too, like my steaks with seats outside. I can sit the whole family there!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

It'd basically be stew meat minus the flavor from browning the meat before hand.

[–] Godric 14 points 1 year ago

Some people don't actually know how to cook and think "I got it to X temperature" means they did it right.

[–] edgemaster72 75 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Ben Shapiro likes his steak like he likes his wife's pussy: completely fucking dry

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Which his wife, WHO IS A DOCTOR BY THE WAY, assured him was perfectly normal.

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[–] yesman 73 points 1 year ago (6 children)

That's not well done, that's congratulations.

[–] scottywh 12 points 1 year ago

It looks like it was boiled... And not in like a Sous Vide way ..

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[–] AFKBRBChocolate 71 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm only mad about what he did to that steak

[–] Godric 41 points 1 year ago

Honestly same, choke on gas fumes all day, it's your life! But a cow died for that steak, honor it for fuck's sake.

[–] Brimos 31 points 1 year ago (2 children)

As a vegetarian, even I’m mad about how he cooked that steak.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Vegetarians and vegans should be twice as upset, because that cow was murdered twice.

[–] AFKBRBChocolate 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I guess anyone dumb enough to think liberals would be angry about him cooking a steak is probably too dumb to learn how to cook one properly.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 year ago (1 children)

MFer figured out how to turn beef into pork

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[–] macrocephalic 55 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I'm just upset they a cow had to die to make a steak that bad. They could have used a cardboard box and saved a cow.

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[–] inclementimmigrant 51 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

So this 'alpha' thought he could own some libs by steaming a steak?

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago

An animal died for that. At least do a good job cooking the damn thing lol

[–] finkrat 41 points 1 year ago

*Ruined a steak

[–] rsuri 40 points 1 year ago

I'm wondering if that's a butter knife, or the steak was so hard it wore the knife down

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Did he boil the damn thing?!

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[–] feedum_sneedson 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Somehow managed to make it look like a slice of pie.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

My mind went to scrap wood. Shit looks like a hunk of raw pine.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

If this is not satire, i hope that potential Chud ate that entire fucking thing

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

Damn. Well, enjoy your disconcertingly pale steak. Try not to get mad cow disease.

Honestly, why do these assholes regard acts of self-endangerment as "owning the libs?" "I'm gonna run outside without a mask, get COVID, and die a miserable death! That'll show those commies a thing or three!" Yes, I'm very "triggered" by your easily preventable deaths. Please don't kill yourself with your own stupidity. I couldn't go on without your fourth grade insults and desperate, performative machismo. Stop. Please. Oh no.

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[–] Fedizen 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

There is a nonzero chance that we're looking at a piece of wood

[–] Godric 13 points 1 year ago

New tv show idea: Is It Steak?

[–] RememberTheApollo_ 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (7 children)

In a gas stovetop I make a beautiful pan-seared, oven cooked steak. And I’m liberal.

This steak has nothing to do with what it was prepared on, just the moron who ruined good food.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

Like I do not know how to cook

But I can assure you I would not be able to fuck up a meal like this if I tried

[–] Furedadmins 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Someone should publish a study that self castration is harmful and should maybe be phased out.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Bro

As someone who eats steaks Blue Rare

What the fuck is this?

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

I think my cat eats better meat than that.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (11 children)

The only people who think gas stoves are superior are the ones who never tried an induction stove

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Gas is better than shitty electric, but induction is better than both shitty electric and good gas.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That looks like an overcooked pork chop.
And it looks disgusting.
I pity the fool that has to eat that.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It looks both over cooked but under-seared.

I have a feeling they boiled it rather cooked it in a pan.

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[–] Fluffy_Ruffs 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

When you don't realize the meat thermometer is set to Celsius

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Yeah, they’re fuming, they’re fuming about how the fuckwit ruined whatever that shit on the plate could’ve been.

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