this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2023
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[–] [email protected] 149 points 11 months ago (1 children)

"while your investment appreciates in value", hopefully.

[–] Tubics 39 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Even if it loses 90% of its value it's still a win if the money came from credit cards you never paid back. Although the couple of hundred bucks you get might not be worth the hassle

[–] Wogi 13 points 11 months ago (3 children)

You will also be unable to take out any debt upon release. It's difficult to get credit as a released felon without a history of defaulting on debt.

So, being generous and saying that he sees a 4% return on his investment, he'll have slightly more than he went in owing, and will be completely unable to even get a car loan, a decent job, or place to live.

He will have turned 0 dollars in to a lifetime of hardship.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Correction: He will have turned 0 dollars into a lifetime of hardship and a few hundred dollars.

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[–] [email protected] 126 points 11 months ago (1 children)

In prison.

Butthole destroyed.

Make check on coin.

Massive loss in value.

No.

[–] GlitterInfection 90 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (4 children)

Just so you know you don't need to go to prison in order to get your butthole destroyed. It's much easier to just go on Grindr, which is only an emotional prison.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago

Fun fact you also don't need to go to prison for your crypto to depreciate!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago

There is a different story here, hidden beneath the floor boards.

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[–] Mamertine 83 points 11 months ago (6 children)

You'd still owe that debt. Unless you go to prison for live than the debt's statute length. Generally 7 years.

Also some jurisdictions make you pay for the privilege of going to prison.

Ymmv, choose your state of jurisdiction very carefully.

Also crypto is a bubble IMO.

[–] chuckleslord 31 points 11 months ago (14 children)

IMO nothing, it's pure speculation powered by nothing but blind greed. If it isn't a bubble, then nothing is.

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 11 months ago

I think you would make more money if you gave handys behind the Wendy's dumpster every day for 7 years.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 11 months ago (2 children)

> Realise you still owe the credit card debt.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

I didn't just say it, I declared it

[–] CADmonkey 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Just commit a crime with a longer sentence than your state's statute of limitations.

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[–] AgentGrimstone 52 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You already fucked up in step 2

[–] [email protected] 48 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Come to that you fucked up in step 1. Do you really think the credit card companies are gonna let that debt just sit there not accruing interest and not send debt collectors to your house while you're in jail?

[–] Kase 34 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Not if you sell your house to buy more crypto ;)

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[–] Chickenstalker 45 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Let's go one further:

  1. Get turned into a vampire

  2. Buy crypto

  3. Go sleep in your coffin for 100 years

  4. ???

  5. Profit

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

~~5. Profit~~

  1. Realize it's at 0$

  2. Cry

  3. Remember you bought doge because Elon Musk said so

  4. Cry

[–] [email protected] 36 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

I mean if I had gone to jail right after I bought any of my crypto I'd be doing better. Sadly, it makes more sense to pull the crypto than default.

I think I had less than a cent of bitcoin and managed to pull 20 later (almost all of it) then another 20 later. Huge percent profit.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (6 children)

You'll have to somehow launder that crypto first.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago

You probably wouldn't need laundered crypto, but you would need to be able to hide it from the bankruptcy court. This only works if you can clear the credit card debt.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Monero doesn't need to be laundered.

[–] matter 7 points 11 months ago (3 children)

It does if you want to spend it in any meaningful way

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[–] Armok_the_bunny 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

What country does anon live in, where prison food and housing is free?

[–] [email protected] 40 points 11 months ago (1 children)

a country that has any reasonable human rights?? well unless you mean "free" in the general sense in that someone does have to pay for it even if not the prisoner...

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (2 children)

(The shithole states charge prisoners for room and board)

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (2 children)

THE SHITHOLE STATES

CHARGE PRISONERS

FOR BEING IMPRISONED

Sorry I know sometimes you need to yell to be heard through the internet tubes

[–] wreckedcarzz 10 points 11 months ago

The internet is not

the internet, is not a big truck

itititit's a series of TUBES

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

What do they do if you dont pay? throw you in double prison?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I know someone who did this. Now, He is in Loss.

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[–] Crack0n7uesday 19 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Someone actually did this, then built a nuclear fallout shelter in their backyard in the middle of some city, but he did it all redneck and it blew up or something while building an underground generator or something and killed a 17 year old kid, he went back to jail, got out after another crypto spike, tried to cash out and immediately got sued by the family of the dead kid for wrongful death and got sued by the IRS for back taxes. It's a fucking rabbit hole of a story.

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[–] ShitOnABrick 17 points 11 months ago (3 children)

the IRS TAXMAN finds out and resizes anons rectum in search of the missing funds

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[–] TrickDacy 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago

Fast and easy way to contract a disease. Wouldn't recommend

[–] thorbot 7 points 11 months ago

Be me

Be me

Be me

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