this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 64 points 1 year ago (2 children)

From now until then you're invincible.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I've been saving an old toaster to try in the tub just for an occasion like this!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You could make so much money playing Russian roulette!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Now I'm starting to wonder if being in a coma for twenty years from a toaster/gun shot would still qualify as alive.

Dammit

[–] FlyingSquid 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The 1950s sci-fi pulp author Fredric Brown wrote one of his (then) famous short-short stories about a man who came up with the serum for immortality and took it, but he had a cold at the time, and the germs also developed immortality and reproduced so much that his symptoms got worse and worse and eventually put him into a coma. After a while, his colleagues realized he'd never get out of the coma, so they just buried him.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

That's horrible. Thank you

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And this is why we have GFCIs, folks

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Because there's immortals walking among us?

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, mine had a different date. Must just be a bug.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What is this "wrapped" thing everybody but me knows about?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Spotify gives you an overview of your listening activity every year with different stats, like top artists, top songs, which city your listening tastes match, etc.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And Spotify tells people when they're going to die?

[–] afraid_of_zombies 11 points 1 year ago

Yes but it is occasionally off by a second or two, what with free will and all.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

That's the joke part.

[–] happilybitchycowboy 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not gonna make it that long. Nice try.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Awww man, I don't wanna do this shit for another 20 years just to die.

Can we make it sooner?

[–] Decoy321 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Be the change you want to see in the world!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Where's the nearest bridge?

EDIT: for reasons, this is a joke.

[–] Sanyanov 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

November 4, 2097...I'm gonna have a long life, it seems!

[–] wafflez 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

dang, Feb 23rd 2067 for me

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] hakunawazo 6 points 1 year ago

4.. 3.. 2.. 1

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Shit, that's my 82nd birthday. Make sure to send a gift on the 22nd that year.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hah, now there is nothing candlejack ca

[–] Thaumiel 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't get it. Who's Candleja

[–] Decoy321 8 points 1 year ago

My favorite thing about this bit is that, after he gets you, he takes the time to submit the comment you were trying to write. Candlejack is really courteous like th

[–] jacktherippah 15 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Mine says "December 5th 2023"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Weird. Mine says "December 3rd 2023"

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 5 points 1 year ago

Mine says 1997. Just 1997.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just doing a wellness check. Did you make it?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I don't think so... RIP eezeebee, they were like a father to us and we were like sons to them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Have a nice last day on earth, buddy.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

laughs in climate wars

[–] spacesweedkid27 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Imagine knowing that you'll live this long from now. Would be great

[–] Rakonat 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

20 years ain't as long as you think it is. Especially if you're not even 30

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (4 children)

If someone could guarantee me that I would die 20 years from now I think I would take it. I would rather a guaranteed 20 years than a potential 40.

It would be great not having to worry about death for that long. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

An exact date is great too, I can plan everything out to a tee.

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[–] FlyingSquid 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I sure hope I live past 66...

[–] spacesweedkid27 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ima die on my birthday? Man that sucks

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

It makes the math easier though

[–] Jon_Servo 6 points 1 year ago

Gross. I'd hate having to live an extra ~20 years.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Too optimistic to be real.

[–] FlyingSquid 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can't tell me when I die! Only I get to decide when I die!

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[–] TIMMAY 3 points 1 year ago

that's so long from now though

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