Asklemmy

The pocket of air that was where you teleported now get displaced at a very decent fraction of the speed of light while the pocket of space you once ocupied becomes a almost pure vaccum. the air moves so fast it creates a sonic boom that ruptures the ear drums. Then, a few atoms of air collide together with such incredible force the atoms split and causes a small grade nuclear explosion.

I'm pooping next to my toilet, inside this wall. The tp roll is in my belly.

welp, I'm not sitting on a tram anymore

I have simultaneously merged with my desk. My bowels have been displaced and are now bisected with bamboo. I feel simultaneously ripped apart and yet stuck and solid. Every point of my being is as though it has been engulfed in flames. My existence and identity has now become insufferable pain. I feel an impending sense of doom at a foreign body now lodged inside of me.

There are no wounds for me to bleed from and I cannot gasp for air to scream. My spinal cord has been severed and I feel hot prickles on my cheeks and my ears feel as though they are being stuffed with cotton. An internal white hot pressure feeling erupts up my now-fractured spine until it reaches the back of my head and radiates towards my forehead. My peripheral vision looks like static and everything appears to shake. I am unable to make sense of anything and everything goes dark and still.

U killed me op wow

I continue pooping in the next stall over.

I'm now shitting in my bathtub....

I am now shitting in the sink.

I move into a space occupied by my desk, thus taking 3d10 force damage before moving to the next unoccupied space.

I'm shitting in the shower.

I'm now having an uncomfortable moment with the airline passenger in seat 26A.

I am now sitting on the wing of a plane that is about to take off. Gonna try to Tom Cruise it. Will post updates soon.

Inside my boyfriend, for once.

I'm reading this while laying on my right side in my bed. So I suppose I bounce on the bed then. Seems fun!

I've now telefragged my colleague.

Does the cat on my tummy come with me? If not Cheddar says that this expirement violates the cat sitting treaty of 1669

I hover briefly in the air, next to my bed, and hold up a sign that says "uh oh" before I fall a couple feet to the ground onto carpet. I might hit my head on the nightstand, but I feel like I got off easy compared to most other people.

I'm now pooping on the floor. Thanks.

I’m now in the lap of the guy in the stall next to me.

Don't know, I don't know how much two feet is.

Still sitting on my couch

I'm suddenly on the outside of a bus on the motorway. Probably dead or at least badly injured.

Hmm, well the railing of my bed would well... be railing me.

Fall out of my chair, but otherwise unaffected as I end up on the floor.

Taking a crap in the hallway

hovers in air next to sofa, looks down, looks at camera, holds up sign saying "uh oh" and plummets two feet to the floor creating a puff of dust on impact

Not much, I'm just lying on the other side of the bed. Although my pillow has been replaced with a garbage bag.

I would be rather sad since I would be sitting next ro my chair on the floor instead of un my chair. My coffee would also be out of reach. I would be sad.

I’ll have a window seat at 30k feet and the person seated to my left will be free fallin’ for a while.

I telefrag the guy sitting next to me on the train

I am one with my bookshelves. Unfortunately the Steam Deck hasn't fared well.

Woah, lemmy is for shiters.

Whose left? Mine?

I'm standing in a box. I am now a cat.

i just fell off the bed ouch

I would be spooning my dog who is on the other end of the couch. If this was a competition I’d submit my outcome for winner or at least most wholesome. Some of y’all’s are definitely more funny though.

I'm sitting on top of the bin of laundry I need to fold.

Well now I'm sitting in a different chair. And I don't like that chair as much. 😡

Yay, I'm in bed now! Good thing, I was getting eepy.