this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
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[–] DanglingFury 162 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (8 children)

"this simple meal only requires about 5 minutes of prep work"

Proceeds* to list off atleast half an hours worth of shit to do prior to cooking

[–] CluckN 49 points 7 months ago

Simple meal

Requires a dehydrator and 4 different types of potato

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 34 points 7 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

That soundtrack is everything, thank you for sharing this work of art

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[–] VaultBoyNewVegas 14 points 7 months ago

Even better when it involves using ingredients that I don't have at that point. So going out to buy them is no longer lazy.

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[–] JimVanDeventer 123 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Step 1: Unwrap processed cheese slice and put in mouth. Repeat as necessary.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (2 children)

You're spending time unwrapping? I refuse to buy the individually wrapped ones because that's way too much work.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago (2 children)
[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 11 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I like the plastic wrapped shits after.

Nice, clean and doesn't leave poop ghosts in the toilet.

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[–] xantoxis 92 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (8 children)

[Camera fade in on a full-body shot of me standing in my kitchen, my hands tented smartly in front of me.]

Hi everyone, welcome back to my food channel. You don't want to cook a full balanced meal every night, sometimes you just want something quick! So today I wanted to show everyone my go-to lazy meal.

[I rip open a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips with my teeth and just start pouring them vertically into my mouth. Many of the chocolate chips do not go into my mouth, they just fall straight down, bouncing off the floor and out of frame. Some get caught in the folds of my clothing, occasionally rolling off onto the floor and bouncing out of frame. Most unsettling are the ones that fall into my mouth and then are carried out again by their own chaotic momentum, covered in microscopic flecks of my saliva, sticking to my shirt or splattering on the floor.]

[This continues for much longer than you'd think, as I empty the entire 1-pound bag without stopping.]

[I release the empty plastic bag, which drifts to the floor. The camera zooms in on my eyes, where tears are just starting to be visible. Fade out.]

[–] [email protected] 29 points 7 months ago

I smash that like and subscribe.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago

Sponsored by RayCon Shadow VPN

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Y'all are way too productive...

And lazy doesn't necessarily mean quick either. Frozen pizza has gotta be the real winner here.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago (2 children)

let it cool a bit and fold it over. eat it like a big sammich. don't even have to dirty the pizza cutter.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Call it a calzone and suddenly you've circled back to fancy diner.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Who the hell calls a calzone "fancy dinner"?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago

Someone who would eat a frozen pizza all folded up.

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 7 months ago (8 children)

I'm not sure I know how to cook anything that doesn't start with a chopped onion.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Your pudding must be weird.

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[–] hydrospanner 15 points 7 months ago (4 children)

After it gets translucent, add a knife-tip's worth of minced garlic from the jar... Some salt and pepper.

From there you're making anything from soup to pasta to breakfast to Mexican, Asian, Italian...

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I got this great lazy spaghetti snack recipe.

  1. Take out some pieces of spaghetti from the box.
  2. Eat it.
[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (6 children)

Italians would like to know your location

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[–] ChicoSuave 38 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (10 children)

Real lazy meal? Uncooked top ramen, the cheaper the better.

Recipe:

  1. Smash ramen noodles

  2. Open bag

  3. Pour seasoning into bag of broken noodles

Congrats, you have ramen chips.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Yeah, but first you have to dip your pinky in the seasoning and taste it like a tv cop testing drugs.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 7 months ago (6 children)

But what if the lazy meal is just one raw onion?

[–] hydrospanner 34 points 7 months ago (5 children)

Then just eat it like an apple.

What are you, some kinda workaholic?

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[–] gmtom 28 points 7 months ago (5 children)

This is why we in the UK, the King's of lazy food, have perfected the art of the "picky tea" slap two kind of beige food on a baking tray, shove it in the oven for 15-20 minutes at 200°, big dolop of your preferred dipping sauce on the side, or some baked beans if you're feeling lush, lovely jubbly.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (6 children)

I don't mind the chopping, washing and cleaning up is the dealbreaker for actually cooking for a lazy meal.

My lazy hot meal is usually something with noodles or rice, like jar sauce bolognese or egg rice. Bonus if you eat it straight out of the pot.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (2 children)

to make a lazy meal, first you must lazily create the universe...

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago

my lazy meal is just whatever cheese is in the fridge

[–] instamat 19 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Fr, if it involves that much prep then it’s officially gourmet

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

if it dirties more than the dish it's eaten from.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago (2 children)

This will potentially sound disgusting, but yesterday i chopped a red onion, broke off a 20cm piece of sausage and ate them with 2 pieces of bread for lunch. Couldn't even deny I'm from Hungary🤣

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago

Open container, heat (optional), eat.

If it requires more, it's not lazy enough.

[–] StarfishBunions 17 points 7 months ago (2 children)

You want lazy onions? They sell bags of frozen, already chopped onions. Just throw them in the pan. They take longer to get cooked but not but much.

Add a bag of sliced, frozen bell peppers and you’ve got a base to start adding those frozen beef cheesesteak sheets. Slam some sliced American on it at the end and you’ve got a cheesesteak mix. (Please don’t kill me, Philly). Throw that on whatever bread you’ve got laying around. It’s lazy and fairly cheap (if you get the steakums at the discount grocery).

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (2 children)

some sliced American

Whether this is the thing you eat with fava beans or the ugliest cheese out there, it's still a crime.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Why don't you already have chopped onion in your fridge for when you're feeling lazy? Be kind to your future self when you have the time and motivation. I chop a sweet onion or two every weekend and use it throughout the week on whatever. Gotta do peppers a couple times a week though. I put that stuff in everything.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Why don't you already have chopped onion in your fridge for when you're feeling lazy?

I don't have a pre-chopped onion in my fridge for the same reason why you probably don't have 20 different kinds of pen refills, inkwells and nibs to go with your collection of dozens of various pens. I do a lot of writing. I don't do much cooking.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

My lazy meal is two ham and cheese sandwiches. When I have more time on my hands, I might make some ramen. The fanciest I'll go is mac and cheese.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

My wife and I have what we call 12 minute meals. They're not quite 12 minutes, because usually you've got to boil the water in the kettle first, but - they're meals that you can make and cook in the time you make macaroni, rice or spaghetti. A simple carbonara, a simple "cheats casserole" (Fry off some mince & onions, throw in some veg, cover in gravy, serve with rice), or a Macaroni Cheese (Done the proper way - grate cheese over the macaroni, mix).

Except for the Mac&Cheese, all of them require chopping an onion. I'd count them as relatively lazy meals that are also tasy and can feed a family.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

My lazy meal is a bit cost prohibitive if you don't have the equipment, but if you have an instant pot, a rice cooker, and an air fryer equivalent, it's super easy to make orange chicken with stir fry veggies, using all stuff you can get ready at the grocery store.

I just throw rice in the rice cooker, frozen veggies and about half a bottle of premade sauce (like $1 at Aldi) in the instant pot, and breaded chicken, like popcorn chicken, in the air fryer, then wait. Mix the chicken in with the veggies once it's cooked, and then serve over rice.

If you do non-breaded chicken, you can even cut out the air fryer, and just cook it with the veggies. Either way, you just have to set the instant pot to zero minutes at high pressure, and it'll be cooked

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