this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2023
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politics

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[–] [email protected] 97 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Tomorrow's headline in Variety:

Ben Shapiro rumored to be in high-pitched talks to play all seven dwarfs in ~~anti-woke version of Snow White~~ 90 minute conservative temper tantrum.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

high-pitched talks

♥️

[–] Riccosuave 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

high-pitched talks at 5000 words per minute*

FTFY

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They so badly want their own version of Hollywood.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 year ago (16 children)

The problem is that so many of their movies are bad.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yet they'll still do incredibly well because the movie makers can launder money through churches, tax free, to buy all available tickets to give out for free to the church congregations. This then makes the movie appear to be better and more popular than it really is.

[–] ummthatguy 24 points 1 year ago

2 consultant producers

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

they do similarly with book sales

[–] RememberTheApollo_ 29 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You can’t criticize the movie without criticizing the message. If you criticize the message you’re not on their team. Not conforming to the team is a bannable offense.

[–] Not_Alec_Baldwin 8 points 1 year ago

But you can oh, so easily criticize the movie without mentioning the message. Because they are awful.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

It's easy, when script writing is worse than a high school play, they're either over filtered to look cinematic or feel like they just filmed it and cut it together. I've seen better acting in b grade porn than anything I've seen in one of those movies, the sounds terrible like they've used the in camera mics on scenes.

See I criticized the movie without criticizing the message.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is that Ben Shapiro as Snow White?

[–] FlyingSquid 18 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Ew. Who would want to kiss him?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

His alive and very much female doctor wife with whom he shares an address of residence. Checkmate.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Hmm. The same wife he's gone on-record about having never given an orgasm to?

[–] TurnItOff_OnAgain 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

His wife who never gets a wet pussy?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Yes, the unfulfilled one

[–] Riccosuave 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I just want you to know I hate myself for having to google this, and it's all your fault 😂

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think it's funny that Ben Shapiro failed as a Hollywood nepo baby. Do you know how much of a failure you have to be to do that?

OTOH Kudos to Ben for giving Ben in a wig a job

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[–] Zerlyna 27 points 1 year ago

Sadly this probably still won’t anger the Hispanic vote.

[–] MargotRobbie 26 points 1 year ago

Well, Ben, since as an almost forty year old grown man, you seem REALLY upset at a certain recent movie for being too "woke" or whatever, let's see how well your movie does as a failed screenwriter with a failed actress.

I'm not going to start throwing tantrums or burn anything, I'm just going to laugh at you in private.

[–] kromem 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Ah yes, Snow White and the Seventh Reich, a beloved children's story about how a mirror that considered an underage girl to be hot got her roofied and then taken advantage of while sleeping by the dude with the most privilege who instead ends up celebrated for rescuing her from her laborer immigrant household.

Honestly even without any alterations to the core plot this clearly has all the hallmarks of a conservative hit on their hands.

A little Triumph of the Will cinematography and some dog whistles thrown in, and they can't help but get everyone on Parler to buy a few copies each. (Literally, as the people there are suckers waiting to be parted with their bitcoins.)

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Being so wrong about the reception and mind shattering profits of the Barbie movie done gone made Benny Shaps a might bit parched for some of that movie moolah sizzurp in his real boy diet cola. I would actually watch this if it got pirated and entirely redubbed with Robert Evans doing all the characters voices as Ben.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Ok with one change: H John Benjamin as Snow White’s voice actor.

[–] SkyezOpen 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Jon as the mirror would be the best thing ever.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

With one exception. Robert needs to do the Magic Mirror in his Boston accent.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Crap, I wanna say yes, but you know he's gonna swing for the fences with the Boston accent and it might lessen the weight of the many Ben impressions. That might have to be the directors cut version.

[–] billiam0202 4 points 1 year ago

No, you've gotta have Cody Johnston and Katy Stoll in there too!

[–] 7112 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

So... a movie featuring a sleeping girl getting woken up for her happy ending is too woke?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

It's more a backlash against the Disney 'remake'...in quotation marks because rather than remaking it, it just sounds like they just did their own thing completely.

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[–] Starkstruck 14 points 1 year ago

Lmao this is just sad.

[–] Veedem 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Let them waste the money. A spite movie is pretty funny though. Straight out of Curb Your Enthusiasm

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Over under on the dwarves being her happy slaves?

[–] Ensign_Crab 9 points 1 year ago

I thought Bob Clampett already made the right's preferred version of the story.

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