this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
476 points (97.6% liked)

Terrible Estate Agent Photos

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Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The pieces of wood shaped like slices of bread are disturbing.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But if you zoom in, they aren't. It's shadowss.

[–] Eheran 3 points 1 year ago

If you then enhance, you notice it is actually painted.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Lol. That would make more sense!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Cutting boards to be more specific.

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[–] streetman 43 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The more I look at this the worst it gets

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Is that a door behind the wood/bread in that enclave? This room is nightmare fuel.

[–] agent_flounder 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Enclave? Oh you mean the bedroom.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Whats with the little gimp nook behind the fridge? The spiders in there are probably so big they have names.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

I was trying to think of the words to describe that area and you came up with something much better than I could have.

[–] SinningStromgald 7 points 1 year ago

gimp nook

I don't know when I'll get to use it but I'm stealing it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Cellar spiders have more relative square footage in their loft than we do in our entire apartments

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I would walk into those pillars multiple times per day

[–] Maraval26 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Are those pillars structural ?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It looks like it’s in the basement.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

The fact it is underground makes the goblin hole even more disturbing.

[–] fluxion 5 points 1 year ago

Purely cosmetic, just like the inaccessible space next to the fridge

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Only one way to know *grab axe*

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah those pillars are horrible. It generally feels very claustrophobic in there, super low ceiling, I wouldn't feel comfortable there at all

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

There's a pillar directly in front of the oven too. I guess the tenant can just forget about cooking anything bigger than a pizza bagel.

[–] alaphic 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As luck would have it, though, when pizza is on a bagel, you can have pizza anytime. So, ya know, at least they won't starve... They'll just be incredibly malnourished as a result of their structurally imposed dietary restrictions.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I'm glad I'm not the only person who remembers this jingle.

[–] AFKBRBChocolate 4 points 1 year ago

I think that's just the perspective and cropping of the picture. It looks like the nearest pillar is in the same row of tile as the further pillar, so there are three rows of tiles between the oven and the pillar.

[–] Delphia 2 points 1 year ago

Nah those look like 30cm tiles given that fridges and ovens have pretty standard widths and assuming the 2 poles are in line you would have about 75cm or 2 and a half feet from the front of the oven.

I mean its cramped but its usable.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver 2 points 1 year ago

Not to mention at night

[–] gridleaf 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This has strong "student housing in someone's basement" vibes.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Looks like it might be converted from a restaurant kitchen, with the supports and the tiles used.

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[–] totallynotarobot 22 points 1 year ago

It puts the lotion on its skin or it doesn't get any more bread

[–] HonoraryMancunian 21 points 1 year ago

Feng shuin't

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This feels like 3D objects that loaded inside of another object in a video game or something

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

You've no-clipped into the backrooms.

[–] Lag 18 points 1 year ago

As a kitchen designer I can't look away. I know it's still there if I don't look.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

The whole picture feels like that kitchen was made by aliens to put abducted humans in it and make them feel like home.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I think those are terribly placed clipboards with sheets of paper on them.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How does this happen? Why would anyone build this kitchen this way?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You start with a house old enough to have the kitchen designed around a wood stove (which goes in that alcove). Someone eventually rips it out and tries to modernise the kitchen, leaving a weird space and a kitchen layout which is a bit off. The original walls and room layout are often messed with as well, which doesn't help.

[–] reddig33 9 points 1 year ago

That tile is doing this room no favors.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Gotta say… the comments about it being in the basement have gotta be correct. No windows… weird layout like too many appliances crammed into any available spots.. the creepy wall hole for… idek. And the beams that 100% Stubs your toe with every midnight snack mission…

And those magnets yo…

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Looks a bit like an old apartment of mine

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That you lived in voluntarily? Was it… nice?

[–] alaphic 14 points 1 year ago

My friend, one does not live in such a place, one merely exists.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

No. It was terrible, it had roaches, mice, ants, all sorts of things. The meat chest in our landlords basement failed and they didn't know - they had a lot of meat rotting in there and it smelled like corpses as well as corpse flies all over.

So thankfully because we lived there we saved enough money for a substantial down payment for a nice home we've been living in phew!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Looks like a couple of used, dusty sponges, weird sponge clothes to me. I'm more worried about: Everything else.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

None of this feels right, at all

Something sinister lives here

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