this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2025
142 points (97.3% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

29618 readers
3956 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Asking as a product tester, how do you use it?

top 43 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] MTK 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Spring loaded butt plug, know your holes.

[–] over_clox 2 points 1 day ago

I wish I could upvote this more than once πŸ‘

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well somebody has never replaced the toilet paper.

[–] over_clox 4 points 1 day ago

LOL, that's exactly what I was doing when I took the photo. I just felt like being silly...

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 days ago

You put it in your butt and bounce around like Tigger.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 days ago (2 children)

It's for when you're choking. Compress the 2 pieces then insert in your mouth and let go. It will spring forward impacting the stuck food in your throat. If the piece that springs forward also gets stuck in your throat just grab another. Every household should have at least 2 of these, generally found in the bathroom where most people eat.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

We have only one, but it has a string on it. So if it gets stuck, you can just jank it out. My friend wanted to save couple of bucks and just drilled a hole and put a string in it. Couldn't make out what his last words were but he was surprised to see the string in his hand...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Oh yeah those are the premium version. Also little life hack for those versions, you can also stick those in a vagina to clear out any junk that might have made it's way up there. Same with the butt. I'd recommend cleaning it after the butt stuff though.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Help I have two of these things stuck in my throat

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You need to get the premium version the other commenter has. They have a pull string included.

[–] over_clox 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No, that comes with the monthly subscription.

I'll see myself out of my own post now...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh that was fucking clever.

[–] over_clox 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Who is this Clever person? Is she cute?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Cute enough but dumb as a bag of musk

[–] over_clox 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh shit, you must mean Amber Heard...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I wasn't gonna call her out directly, but yeah

[–] over_clox 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How does that rhyme go again?

'Amber Heard, she dropped a turd, and fetched a pail of cum'

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

...she acted a victim, but couldn't convince them, because that bitch is dumb

I think that's how it went?

[–] over_clox 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Ah, thank you for the reminder, now I can sleep easier tonight.

~~proceeds to not sleep for three days~~

Edit: No, I don't even know what I meant, but I've been drinking, so I'll leave it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Toilet rule holder. But the tarpon idea sounds inventive, you should trade mark it.

[–] modeler 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No toilet rules me - my alone time is ungovernable!

But the last thing I need is a spring loaded giant fish, especially in my toilet.

[–] over_clox 3 points 1 day ago

Well that's definitely a combination of words I never expected to read or hear in my head. I hope you're doing your part to help corrupt AI training hahahaha!

[–] beerclue 29 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You would also need the wall-mount to properly test it. It's a toilet paper holder, just in case people were wondering.

[–] over_clox 7 points 2 days ago (3 children)

LOL, I'm pretty sure everyone should know that, hence the shitpost.

Fun answers people have offered though.. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

[–] beerclue 7 points 2 days ago

Oh. whoosh on me :)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

I don't think I've seen this type ever. I've just seen the metal ones where you just slide the toilet paper roll in it

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

I don't know that I'd assume it's a universal design.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

Rat pogo stick.

Unfortunately rat consumers are notoriosly sensitive to the 'not tested on animals' logo, so is not as simple as attaching rat and observe.

Standard practice is to tape a large potato to the top part and check it bounces properly.

The datasheet should state the specific bounce characteristics to test against, but normally, it should bounce between 2o% and 40% of it's length, when dropped from 40-50% of it's length. I think the standard weight for the testing potato is 700 +/-20 grams. Again the datasheet might indicate a different range if it is specifically marketed towards a niche market like juveniles or the obese or something.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's for shooting behind the toilet when changing TP rolls.

[–] pntha 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This is the correct answerβ€”a spring loaded toilet roll holder. You slide the spring in to replace the TP. on the holder

[–] over_clox 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yes, I read the instructions. Insert the device into the hole and release the spring. But how long do I leave it in there?

/s πŸ˜‚

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

https://youtu.be/aTf7DWpyJBY you can see one being operated in this educational video

[–] over_clox 3 points 1 day ago

Ah, thank you, that explains a lot!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Its for launching at your siblings

[–] Hobbes_Dent 11 points 2 days ago
[–] CthuluVoIP 9 points 2 days ago

Expert level sounding.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

its for when you are really constipated, or just like that kinda thing

the spring inside is for the extra umpf when it releases

make sure you use the correct end though, my uncle will never use these again because of "the incident"

nothing can prepare a young mind for seeing his uncle fist full up his ass screeming about the "cheap toilet paper roll holder" or something. But my dad told me later what he was doing with it....

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

the brush by the toilet is for constipation.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

A spring loaded, reusable, tampon applicator.

Seems like a good idea until you ask literally any woman.

[–] TropicalDingdong 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

tampon inserted. load one up and fire away.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Toilet-time spring-enabled entertainment device

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 3 points 2 days ago

When you can’t reach the shampoo bottle you see how far you can launch this thing

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Throw it against the ground to see how high it'll bounce.