And he came in three seconds.
this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2025
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he had the sex
Is this a parody, or did someone actually brag on twitter about having sex? I honestly can't tell what's satire any more.
Could be either way, honestly. He's a fundie who bragged about remaining a virgin until marriage. He finally got hitched to a former Miss Universe of all people, at age 32 or something.
Miss Universe
That shit's so rigged. Always an earthling. SMH
Yeah, pretty much don't stand a chance unless you're a featherless biped with two boobs.
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Ummmm, this is so cringe:
https://www.orlandoweekly.com/news/looks-like-tim-tebow-has-finally-had-the-sex-26678445
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Like a sea turtle trying to get up on a raft.
What a mental image. Brain bleach, stat, please.
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He had THE Sex. You know the one sex you get in your life and then never again.
God was there
In the corner
Quietly jerking off
Then cumming over the two of them
God is a kinky dude, I like him.
He got that woman pregnant once before her husband had even had a go.
From prima nocta to prima knocked-up.
And God was there!
“And the Holy Spirit came upon them…”
Can you feel the Holy Spirit inside you?
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Just keep in mind God doesn't think anal and oral sex (hopefully not in that order, but no shame you do you) counts according to some religious people i met.
The legends of the poophole loophole are still spread to these days.
He's definitely okay with oral. Provided you swallow.
There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.
-- Mark 7:15
Damn! Mark was one kinky motherfucker.
He hung out with a bunch of dudes and the main guy's beard who was clearly just a prostitute he was paying to make the whole thing look legitimate. I mean obviously he'd be into this stuff.
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Five years ago...
Probably had it a couple of other times since then. Would have to check his posts to be sure. Willing to bet there were maybe a few times where God was not there.
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Even almighty God cannot witness things that fast.
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